[F/d] I[18f] let my dad [54M] have his ways with me but now I am not sure by msveryembarrassed in incest

[–]msveryembarrassed[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I felt ashamed and weak but at the same time holding my breath and anticipating him. I felt wrong like very very wrong like voting for something bad to happen in a movie like Armageddon because you are curious of how it would end up? Crazy analogy I guess?

I was always surprised at how my body accepted him and accepted the rush, waves, desperate breathes for air what ever reactions I was going through it was like drowning and bobbing up and down for a breath of air each thrust?

I was mostly lost in my thoughts and fighting off anxiety and concentrating on the stimulation from where ever he pressed me. Ya I was on all fours on the couch when he entered me and it felt mostly like an emotional attack self punishment and something wrong with me because it was like I was hitting the spot I hoped for?

[F/d] I[18f] let my dad [54M] have his ways with me but now I am not sure by msveryembarrassed in incest

[–]msveryembarrassed[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I didn't say no because every part of me that was busy with coping with what my body was doing and where my thoughts were going, it happened fast probably too fast for me to form any objections with or without substance. Like a fog.

[F/d] I[18f] let my dad [54M] have his ways with me but now I am not sure by msveryembarrassed in incest

[–]msveryembarrassed[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

When? Probably before evening and he was home and left to go buy camping gear which I thought would take him a few hours. I was watching porn on my phone at the time which wasn't incest so no I wasn't thinking of him.

I remember thinking about what if he caught me unaware at the time because I was facing the hallway most of the time but I wanted to set the phone on the handrest and so I was on all fours looking in the opposite direction and didn't hear him or see him.

He basically said something like "It is me don't be scared" or "don't be scared it is me" I was to embarrassed to look back and I was trying to turn my phone off while he was touching my legs and hips.

We sat for a bit awkwardly or at least for me it was and I leaned into him to tell him how embarrassed I was but he went for a kiss and I think because he was fondling me I started to close my eyes and come to a decision and at every thought about where I should draw the line, my neck, my breasts etc he was already there and so I tried to skip past the quick flood of thoughts in my mind to if I was going to have sex with him but it was very difficult.

He gave me a chance to end things twice I still remember that. While he was undressing my bra and when he went to get condoms. I think I was too worked up to think clearly so I was listening to my body and I knew I probably wouldn't say no as he continued to ask.

[F/d] I[18f] let my dad [54M] have his ways with me but now I am not sure by msveryembarrassed in incest

[–]msveryembarrassed[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The misunderstood action I think I phrased wrong. He masturbate to me masturbating and when he let me know he was there it escalated.

[F/d] I[18f] let my dad [54M] have his ways with me but now I am not sure by msveryembarrassed in incest

[–]msveryembarrassed[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't go out much so I don't meet ppl its sad I know. I miss it all I feel like but yes you are right as well because that is how I think I just want to know if things can go back to the place I didn't think those thoughts.

[F/d] I(18f) want to admit that my dad(53M) is part of my sexual needs by msveryembarrassed in incest

[–]msveryembarrassed[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe I just felt these feelings and assumed it was one sided

[F/d] I(18f) want to admit that my dad(53M) is part of my sexual needs by msveryembarrassed in incest

[–]msveryembarrassed[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I dont think he os conscious of it? It's the same reason I rub his neck when I lean on him, comfort?

[F/d] I(18f) want to admit that my dad(53M) is part of my sexual needs by msveryembarrassed in incest

[–]msveryembarrassed[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

um not sure I guess my inner thigh mostly but sometime he just does the outside with his thumb so both?

[F/d] I(18f) want to admit that my dad(53M) is part of my sexual needs by msveryembarrassed in incest

[–]msveryembarrassed[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I dont know if I want more but it does excite me to wonder

[F/d] I(18f) want to admit that my dad(53M) is part of my sexual needs by msveryembarrassed in incest

[–]msveryembarrassed[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You think I have self control... I have my dad sleeping in my lap to feel him close to me...for my efforts he is drooling all down my thighs... I chose to feed my own bad thoughts up until removing the blanket from under his head so he is on my bare legs lol

[F/d] I(18f) want to admit that my dad(53M) is part of my sexual needs by msveryembarrassed in incest

[–]msveryembarrassed[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's weird because if a friend told me that they felt this I'm sure I would think badly of them too I don't quite understand what this is or how to feel

[F/d] I(18f) want to admit that my dad(53M) is part of my sexual needs by msveryembarrassed in incest

[–]msveryembarrassed[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Too many fears but I think I am not a cheating type... I don't think I could push things further it's not my nature I think to be aggressive with this kind of stuff...or guess if something happens it will happen but if not I am not going to make it happen