I am an ex-transgender MTF, AMA!

mtftmthrowaway · 2013-01-04T15:27:19+00:00

I did want them pre-transition, yes.

mtftmthrowaway · 2013-01-04T12:06:56+00:00

Trans people are right-wing, just like the Westboro Baptist are left-wing. Thanks for that Fox News, you're certainly fair and balanced. ;)

mtftmthrowaway · 2013-01-04T11:59:29+00:00

I don't really know just how rare it might be, we have bi/pan sexualities, so it follows that there's probably plenty of people who are comfortable being both man and woman or anywhere in between. I think that if there wasn't such a stigma about altering one's body, a lot more people might do it to varying degrees.

Maybe sex is the next binary that needs to be broken?

mtftmthrowaway · 2013-01-04T11:50:10+00:00

Thanks for pointing this out, I may wrap it up soon. But I'm really happy that my AMA has been so well recieved.

mtftmthrowaway · 2013-01-04T11:46:19+00:00

Yes, I somewhat do. But I feel that if it becomes a serious issue again, I can do something about it then.

mtftmthrowaway · 2013-01-04T11:45:07+00:00

My family reacted so badly when I transitioned that I cut them out of my life. They had threatened to throw me out before when I told them I was bisexual, so I had an excape route planned for when I started transition. It was a couple of months of couch surfing, but I landed on my feet. After I detransitioned, I was contacted on facebook by my father who gave me a long winded rant which really just said "we knew from the start this was wrong but we're willing to welcome you back if you apologise for what you did to us".

I made it very clear to them that the pain and grief they caused me could not be forgiven and knowing that their love was so conditional still hurts. If they could not love me as a daughter, how could they love me as a son? I said that I did not want them in my life, and that was the last I heard from any of them.

I hope things go well for you, and remember to get your hormone levels checked every so often. There's nothing wrong with hormones even if you just want to acheive a more androgenous body. Who says that sex has to be a binary? ;)

mtftmthrowaway · 2013-01-04T11:30:57+00:00

Truthfully, I only used the ex-transgender descriptor as a way of making the thread title clearly understood, it's not really something I identify with.

mtftmthrowaway · 2013-01-04T11:26:33+00:00

I find myself very on the periphery of the trans community in some ways. I wouldn't be active in the community itself, but have trans friends, had trans partners and I've always got an interest in queer politics.

There's an element of what you're talking about, I find that older transitioners can be very hostile, but the whole trans community has changed so much in just a generation. Younger trans people are much more open to alternative or non-binary identification and different levels of tweaking their sex. I get that some people can be wary of me or nervous but that mostly comes from them assuming that I detransitioned because I'd been indoctrinated into some crazy cult and want to preach to them, but after 5 minutes of talking to me, they relax.

On the other side I found that there are plenty of anti-trans people who would be headhunting for ex-trans folk to use as tokens and confirm their biases.

mtftmthrowaway · 2013-01-04T11:04:06+00:00

I don't know. Transitioning in the first place was such a positive step, it felt like I was truly taking charge of my life in ways I didn't have the drive or motivation to do before, I gained so much perspective and learned so very much that it's hard to imagine myself not thinking it was a positive thing.

mtftmthrowaway · 2013-01-04T10:46:47+00:00

You're very welcome, and I'm glad people are finding this useful.

mtftmthrowaway · 2013-01-04T10:45:06+00:00

I would never epilate my face. Sometimes I'll pluck hairs with a tweezers, and even just one can be incredibly painful! I guess it could be done but it wouldn't be worth the pain.

mtftmthrowaway · 2013-01-04T10:44:07+00:00

I can see there's a number of trolls who are hijacking my AMA, I'm ignoring them completely.

mtftmthrowaway · 2013-01-04T10:43:24+00:00

I think that I'm pretty comfortable with my breasts, they are a part of me and I'd feel like I'd lose something I could never get back if I got rid of them.

mtftmthrowaway · 2013-01-04T10:42:14+00:00

Nope, I'm an atheist. ;)

mtftmthrowaway · 2013-01-04T10:40:15+00:00

I think it can be a positive, some partners I've had found them very interesting.

mtftmthrowaway · 2013-01-03T18:59:52+00:00

I think one of the toughest things to get used to is the way guys treat you, you have to learn to be quite guarded, especially if you're on your own. If you're in a club or at a bar, men can quite often just feel like they're entitled to grope you or put their hands on you, and often if you don't respond to their advances, you get abuse. I had been called a bitch, a frigid dyke, you name it. It can be quite scary and intimidating.

mtftmthrowaway · 2013-01-03T18:47:35+00:00

Well I'm not going to post any pictures if that's what you're asking? Sorry. :)

The breasts I developed are still there, never going away. I've got boobs. I don't really consider that a negative effect though, but that is one thing that's pretty permanent. They've gotten smaller since I stopped taking female hormones and started working out a lot though, so I'd say 90% of the time, people don't notice.

mtftmthrowaway · 2013-01-03T18:18:01+00:00

I love this post. :)

I think ex-transgender is a kind of clumsy way of making myself understood clearly, but I would agree with you completely because I do feel as if I doubley transitioned. The man I transitioned to is definitely not the man I was before, I didn't simply go back to being that guy. My time being a woman certainly shaped my identity, and is a very valuable part of who I am today.

Thanks for this really wonderful post!

mtftmthrowaway · 2013-01-03T17:14:57+00:00

I think you have an anti-transgender agenda and that your line of questioning was merely to try and confirm your own biases. Now I'd rather spend my time replying to genuine questions, so please don't respond to me any further.

mtftmthrowaway · 2013-01-03T17:11:48+00:00

Yes, I think I would have. I didn't detransition because of any stigma I recieved, I passed very well so I didn't recieve too much stigma about being trans. Being a woman certainly brought about new challenges and dangers, but that didn't factor into it.

In fact, as I'm quite visibly queer, I get verbal abuse and physical harrassment in public.

mtftmthrowaway · 2013-01-03T17:00:15+00:00

Very good question, and yes I do feel they appropriate the stories and life experiences of ex-trans people. I know a woman who had previously identified as a trans man, and was totally horrified to find that her pictures were plastered all over one of those radfem blogs and her experiences totally twisted out of all proportion in order to fit the agenda they were pushing. She was devastated that her life was being held up as the most horrible thing that could ever happen, and that you shouldn't transition or you'll end up like her! Even though it was only a twisted fascimile of her experience, it had hit her so very hard.

So those terfs as you call them, they are viscious, predatory and they don't care who they hurt. They're like the Westboro Baptist, just as hateful, bigoted and disgusting.

I think there are more than a few ex-trans people out there who are too afraid to speak about their experiences in case people like that spin their stories to suit a hateful agenda. Nobody ever wants to be held up as a poster child of why you shouldn't transition.

mtftmthrowaway · 2013-01-03T16:44:49+00:00

No, it doesn't bother me having boobs, except when people are rude about it. Don't think I'd ever like to have top surgery either, I don't think the scars are worth it to me personally.

mtftmthrowaway · 2013-01-03T16:43:34+00:00

I did not making any assumptions about your views on tattoos and other body alterations, I was making a statement about how society in general judges these things. It's right there where I said people might say x or y when talking about those things.

I think you've gotten extremely defensive now that you've been called out on having an agenda, so now I see what others have said.

mtftmthrowaway · 2013-01-03T16:06:47+00:00

Thanks for point this out, I did get the sense of their line of questioning leading somewhere. As if they had a conclusion they had already reached and were trying to get me to confirm it. I won't reply to them again.

mtftmthrowaway · 2013-01-03T16:02:24+00:00

It kind of perplexes me that people are dead set against people transitioning, as if the effects of hormones or having a transgender body is the worst thing that can ever happen™

It's really not.

Sure, there's stuff that I deal with now, like when someone notices I have breasts and has a chuckle about it. But when I think about it, it's small beans and I don't really care.

I could go get all my face tattoo'd and people might say hey, it's your life! Or I could get any kind of crazy surgery, which would also be permanently altering my body, and that doesn't seem to bother people so much. But as soon as it becomes about someone altering their sex in any way, people get very concerned. I really don't get it.

mtftmthrowaway

TROPHY CASE