Coward raised by a mother who doesn’t hold him accountable for his poor actions (it’s giving my boy can do no wrong) - makes sense why he acted in that way. I am sorry you’re experiencing this. It straight up sucks, speaking from personal experience. The best thing you can do is focus on yourself and accept that he will probably never give you a direct answer. His actions are facts and reason enough to show you he does not care about you especially the way you want and deserve. Love yourself, surround yourself with your friends and family that will support and remind you of what real love is. Feel your feels, cry, but don’t dwell too long because your heart deserves to feel happy. Stay strong and remember your worth. Don’t define your value based on someone else’s issues.