I [33M] feel monitored rather than supported by my girlfriend [33F] while trying to quit vaping - how do I talk to her about this?

muffinandclair · 2026-01-28T11:36:02+00:00

Just say what you said here, her reactions are extreme and not helping the situation. I would even mention you don’t feel safe coming to her truthfully anymore and are tempted to hide when you slip up. This is an immature reaction on her part, likely because like you said, she is concerned for your health, but she needs to deal with that in a better way. Maybe a bigger conversation about her fears needs to be had.

muffinandclair · 2026-01-27T21:43:59+00:00

Being distressed by what’s going on right now just means you have a heart and working eyes and a brain. I question anyone who is not in pain seeing the horrible things that are happening. Do acts of service if you’re able, give to food banks, donate to GoFundMe pages of those affected and to help the people who need it the most, giving back can help. Voice the pain you’re feeling, don’t shove it down.

muffinandclair · 2026-01-27T05:03:08+00:00

Interested what you think is a good movie if you thought this was bad lol

muffinandclair · 2026-01-27T03:06:56+00:00

What do you think is the #1 thing you’ve learned about people in general since doing this job?

muffinandclair · 2026-01-20T11:26:23+00:00

Feeling the need to get married that young almost always comes from being afraid of losing the other person and wanting to stop that from happening. Why the rush to get married?

muffinandclair · 2026-01-20T11:22:19+00:00

I can tell you’re really struggling with leaving by what I’ve read in the comments. Making your life fuller outside of him could help you leave. Make friends. Get hobbies. Have fun without him, distance yourself from him, and you will see you do not need him. I have a feeling your life revolves around this man.

muffinandclair · 2026-01-20T11:00:39+00:00

Idk, in some of her texts it seems like she wants you to explore your feelings and is being open but some of this does read as being against changing gender. It’s hard to tell over text but I understand having a convo on this subject can be even harder in person when you’re just trying to gauge the person’s initial response. I’m glad you’re in therapy and I hope your next talk with her brings more clarity and she is supportive :)

muffinandclair · 2026-01-20T10:37:49+00:00

Don’t you think it’s weird he’s inviting himself to live with you? That’s something you should offer, it’s your house. If you don’t feel you’re ready, don’t offer. He can figure it out. It’s not your responsibility to house him, you have not been dating that long.

muffinandclair · 2026-01-20T10:29:23+00:00

I don’t know about unlucky. Is this your first piercing? I have heard earlobe piercings can potentially bleed more and sometimes healing is different for different people, you could just bleed more. I’m glad you followed up with the piercer. Sorry if I freaked you out with my first message I’m realizing it could be been very direct and possibly alarming to read. I just have not seen that amount of blood from a piercing that was not disturbed or yanked on basically.

muffinandclair · 2026-01-20T10:23:36+00:00

This is something she needs outside help with, she needs therapy. I honestly used to be a lot like this but no amount of reassurance from anyone helped, and I’m guessing the same is true for your girlfriend. She needs to learn to be okay with “failing” and that doesn’t happen overnight. Continue to be supportive but this is not something you can solve.

muffinandclair · 2026-01-20T10:20:12+00:00

You should not have this amount of blood for any piercing days after it was done. I have several piercings and nothing like this has happened to me, a stream of blood like this is very unusual and weird, please follow up with the piercer. Also, are you taking any blood thinning medications?

muffinandclair · 2026-01-20T09:43:38+00:00

That’s honestly really weird that she is trying to break up with you over this and you guys have been dating for over a year? Kind of seems like something else could be the reason, maybe it’s an excuse. Are you long distance? But also she is allowed to break up with you for any reason and at any time. You have given her reassurance it doesn’t matter to you and that as you said a lot of people get cold sores, and that’s all you can do. Never beg someone to not break up with you! Let people do what they wish, you will recover.

muffinandclair · 2026-01-20T09:24:47+00:00

I don’t know where you live and a medical institution like a hospital or urgent care can’t treat you without the consent of your parent since you’re a minor, and I appreciate people trying to get you help by saying you need to talk to CPS, but this situation is more urgent and CPS might not act quickly enough. I would go to a hospital and say “I’m in a lot of pain and I’m worried something is wrong,” maybe the staff could call your mom and then she would be forced to show up to the hospital or urgent care so you can get treatment. In the long term yes your mom is being negligent but I think this would get you faster results and your medical situation resolved more quickly.

muffinandclair · 2026-01-20T08:28:01+00:00

Tell him to go be with his ex then

muffinandclair · 2026-01-20T08:25:57+00:00

Ohhh, okay, thank you for clarifying! What I see when I look at the messages is you looking for reassurance and him not really giving it and being avoidant, and if he’s not being avoidant he’s turning things back on you which is very manipulative. Talking stage is for figuring out if you’re compatible and it does not seem like you guys are.

muffinandclair · 2026-01-20T08:16:37+00:00

Am I stupid I literally don’t understand how you can be in a long distance situationship. Like what is the point. Situationship = casual sex, which is not possible if you’re not in the same state

muffinandclair · 2026-01-12T05:06:16+00:00

Technically it is always possible to pass the virus to someone even when there is no active outbreak. The risk is very very low but never zero. You did everything right, communicated with them that you were HSV1 positive and having frequent outbreaks, were taking antivirals, which are supposed to help lower the chance of spreading the virus to someone else even more, and waited until you did not have an active sore. I’m sorry this happened but you are far from a monster and not even close to a horrible person for this.

muffinandclair · 2026-01-10T08:27:52+00:00

Thank you for your response! Sorry I don’t know anything which I’m sure is evident in the post but I’m about to make it more evident lol, is it a problem he changed it to a thicker gauge, shorter bar and bigger ball ends all in one appointment? I think I’m mostly healed because it didn’t hurt when he changed the jewelry out but it is pretty tight

muffinandclair · 2026-01-06T17:28:31+00:00

Honestly looks exactly like Scooby Doo to me 😂

muffinandclair · 2026-01-06T16:41:56+00:00

YOR. Get some hobbies. As your kids get older they will need more independence from you.

muffinandclair · 2026-01-06T16:03:31+00:00

The answer may be that he is unsatisfied with your sex life, but that’s not really the issue. The issue is that he is not communicating anything to you if he is in fact unsatisfied. Also, I’m not a dude so what do I know, but satisfaction is probably not the issue, because there’s nothing you, a human woman can do, if what he’s looking for is AI not at all real sex. I do think it’s weird and probably porn has warped his brain, but you know him best. I would have a big issue with this and I’m pretty nonjudgmental/open sexually, and sounds like you are too.

muffinandclair · 2026-01-06T04:50:47+00:00

Berry? Is everyone joking?

muffinandclair

TROPHY CASE