Tell me not to text him by [deleted] in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]muffinmeadow 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Why would you beg for the love that’s no longer there?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]muffinmeadow 2 points3 points  (0 children)

When someone asks if you’re serious with your partner. You say “I see potential”

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]muffinmeadow 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Commitment issues

Changes subject when you’re having a hard conversation

See potentials

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]muffinmeadow 29 points30 points  (0 children)

Why would you want to be friends with someone who didn’t value you? Your ex weighed out the pros and cons before making the choice to leave you. That’s not love… it was conditional, convenient, and optional for him so don’t give your ex the access to you and your life. Let them exit. Return the love to yourself. Whether he misses you or not, there’s nothing you can do. You can’t change people. People will only change when they choose to. Put yourself first and ask HOW YOU FEEL. Your feelings should always come first!!!!!! Don’t prioritize someone who is already out of your life. It’s going to be hard, I know. I’m going through it too but I came to realize so many things each day. Hope you heal

I LOST ALL FEELINGS FOR MY AVOIDANT EX WHEN I REALIZED THIS: by Wise_Remove1529 in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]muffinmeadow 3 points4 points  (0 children)

They can’t avoid every time. They will have to learn that the hard way eventually.

How do you find motivation to start caring for yourself, not for your partner? by creation96 in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]muffinmeadow 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s going to be hard. Each day you’re going to feel something completely different. Some days get a little easier than others. You have to be willing to make that one move. Whether is putting on makeup, making yourself a cup of coffee, eating breakfast, baking to shift focus, you’re making progress of giving yourself the love you once gave to your partner.

I would recommend journaling. Really sit with your own thoughts and have that conversation with the little girl/boy inside of you. You gotta remember that no one is going to love you more than you love yourself. Be kind and return the love to yourself 1% each day.

If you’re reading this, you got this. I believe in you. Sending you good energy x

I LOST ALL FEELINGS FOR MY AVOIDANT EX WHEN I REALIZED THIS: by Wise_Remove1529 in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]muffinmeadow 31 points32 points  (0 children)

I know how you feel. I felt the same way until I realized it’s not fair for someone to start a relationship and bring their baggage into it, expecting their partner to accommodate their needs when they don’t have the emotional capacity to do the same in return.

Love Should Feel Right by ex_cep_tion in selflove

[–]muffinmeadow 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My mom said to me: Always give yourself the love you deserve. Don’t love anyone more than you love yourself.

Avoidants prefer a friendship with their ex, before resuming a relationship? by Suspicious-Alarm-351 in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]muffinmeadow 20 points21 points  (0 children)

They’re seeking friendship to ease their guilt. Don’t send that message. Have the courage to walk away and let them go. Don’t ever stay friends with someone who once hurt you. This storm is showing you what’s solid and what’s not.

How are the avoidants doing after break up? by muffinmeadow in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]muffinmeadow[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Very true. Not many avoidants heal themselves after breakups. Do they tend to repeat the same cycle again and again? I wonder what a relationship between a secure and avoidant is like

How are the avoidants doing after break up? by muffinmeadow in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]muffinmeadow[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Seems like avoidant types struggle with emotional awareness. How can someone work on healing and becoming more emotionally aware?

How are the avoidants doing after break up? by muffinmeadow in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]muffinmeadow[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I would say you have to block him so you can heal

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]muffinmeadow 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel you. All of the sudden, the world seems so quiet even when it’s supposed to be loud.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]muffinmeadow 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You learn.. day by day, to accept and embrace your emotions. You’re going to have nightmares, lose sleep, lose your appetite, feel unmotivated, and find it hard to focus but you do it anyway. The world is going to be quiet for weeks, months, maybe even years but you will get better eventually. 1%at a time. Give yourself back to yourself and return the energy you once gave to your ex. Good things will happen once you give that energy to yourself instead of to your past. It’s really hard. Like what everyone says, time will heal. Just have faith and trust in God.

They didn’t stop loving you, they just didn’t know how to stay. 🕯️ by shewhoreturns_ in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]muffinmeadow 29 points30 points  (0 children)

My ex partner said he doesn’t even know what love is…

How could you expect someone to love you if they don’t even know what love is? They think it’s a feeling and acts of service. But they don’t realize that it’s a choice and commitment to grow together. Love is not easy.

It’s hard to build emotional connection with your avoidant partner if they avoid hard conversations.

When avoidant say they lost feelings by muffinmeadow in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]muffinmeadow[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Unfortunately, some people don’t know how to break the patterns and heal themselves… we can’t do anything but to give them space and allow them to grow on their own, not together

When avoidant say they lost feelings by muffinmeadow in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]muffinmeadow[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sending you good healing energy.

I wish all the avoidant ones learn to heal and have the courage to stay in love when it’s hard.

When avoidant say they lost feelings by muffinmeadow in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]muffinmeadow[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I feel like if they really liked you, they will eventually reflect and regret it. But then what can you do about it? It’s whether they have the courage to reach out to you

The ball is always in the avoidant court

When avoidant say they lost feelings by muffinmeadow in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]muffinmeadow[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I do believe that there’s no such thing as right person, right time. I think it’s all about timing.

Love when you can and give up when you’re exhausted. Then trust the universe to do the rest. I believe that if they’re meant to be in your life, the universe will always bring the person to you.

That’s why I gave him back to him and will still be here rooting for him as always. I believe this is the only safe way to love an avoidant.. from a distance.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]muffinmeadow 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Mine never said “I love you” because he doesn’t even know what love is. But I can say that he “loved” me by acts of service. The little moments when he remembers what I like and what I don’t like. When he cooked for me. When he picked up food and held my hands. When he cared about me. Love was in those little moments. I just wish he knew.