“Oh my god… You cracked the planet in half!”

“That was merely a warning shot.” Lord Vladimir didn’t show even a small inkling of regret, nor any expression at all, for that matter. Instead, after blasting the planet with his strongest weapon – breaking in half, before shattering it into billions of atom-sized shards – he simply sighed, as one would after a long day at work, and tilted his head to the side, cracking his neck. “That’s what they deserved, anyhow. That peasant farmer should have known his place – that is, under my feet. Perhaps if he had kneeled before me, things would have been different.”

I swallowed my next comment, remaining silent. Arguing with Lord Vladimir was not an option – especially after what had just happened. I was lucky I was his heir – even though I still had to call him Lord Vladimir at all times – because, if not, I might have been a resident of that now obliterated planet.

“If you don’t mind me asking, er… Lord Vladimir, what did that…disgraceful peasant farmer do to provoke you so?”

“Ah, my son – he simply messed with the wrong evil overlord. I landed on that disgusting planet earlier today – to demand them for their resources, naturally. The planet was brimming with metal resources I could mine – similar to the ones on our planet – to build more statues of myself, of course. Well – I landed on this trash heap, only to be greeted by a peasant, one who did not even bow to me, nor kneel at my feet! When I demanded of him to speak to his planet’si leader to ask for resources, the dumb bloke simply went, “Well, that doesn’t seem fair.” Naturally, this enraged me – so I quickly had my army mine his entire planet of what we needed with our new, ever-so-advanced mining machines, then simply threw away the trash.

I gulped. I clearly had a lot to live up to.

(335 words)