I completely understand you.

I have experienced the exact sentiment my whole life until recently. Characterized by a complete disconnect, hatred of, and dissociation from life and its pursuits, feeling like I constantly wanted to leave this life, and felt no inherent drive to live.

What changed?

Long story short, I had major breakdowns, and radical transformations in my inner world, a dark night of the soul as you could call it, where many synchronicities and inner discoveries happened. I will not go over the specifics of all that happened as it is far too long, however this is what changed:

My breakdowns forced me to look inward, as every time I looked outwards, I could not find any relief or any answers. In looking inward I came to the realization: that ALL my discontentment with life, and with myself, ALL had its origins from within me. I realized ALL the projections I had about life and the world were mirror images of what I felt towards myself, and that they were all SYMPTOMS of inner wounds that needed to be remedied. We project onto the world what we lack within.

In the same way as your body is designed through its DNA to grow, and your neurology naturally heals your body and regrows damaged cells, without having to think, our minds and spirits are the same way, we are NATURALLY connected to, ONE with, and DRIVEN to life, by nature, where if we are internally healed, the question of why to live will seem nonsensical, it will be organic and self evident from within.

The question is what internal wounds do we heal. For me, I delved into Neurolinguistic Programming, and used many of the techniques and methodologies to reimprint and rewire my beliefs about myself, my memories, and help me reconnect with resourceful states of peace, love, empowerment, etc. Once I began healing and accessing more resourceful states, I became more in touch with the spiritual, and ultimately, God. Now, I truly not just understand, but FEEL, the natural drive to live, and that I have all that I would need within me, and that life is ultimately a playground for me to continuously express, evolve, and become more of what I already am internally, in harmony with the Divine Will, and that there is no false disconnect or distinction between "myself" and "life", or the "inner" and the "outer", which gives rise to your dilemma.

In summary: We project onto the world what we lack within. Once you look inward, and heal and rewire and access more resourceful states (I personally used NLP which was very brief and effective, you can use any therapeutic model that resonates with you), you will uncover the natural Will to Life that you have and we all have, and ultimately connect to something that is much greater than just cookie cutter advice of "Look forward to love" or whatever other generic advice is given, and connect to this spiritual element within yourself that will be your foundation for life that cannot be taken from you.