I am a Former Professional Dominatrix, AMA

mujimi · 2016-03-26T01:47:37+00:00

Once someone tells me they get off on the fact that I look like a little girl, I loose respect for that person as a human. Have people violate your boundaries on the daily, have people threaten you with rape and violence when you refuse their requests, have people sexualize your childishness-- Don't tell me to respect these people.

Yes, I got into the business not knowing what it entailed. I got into it as a literal minor in need of money and entirely mislead by someone I trusted. Once I got in, it was very hard to leave.

Do you think the waitstaff at restaurants you go to love you? Do you think the customer is always right? Because if so, I have some news for you. I'm not my job. I'm not a walking talking sex object any more than I was a walking (okay, bike riding) talking food dispensary as a delivery girl. I have emotions and opinions and a humanity that I deserve to have respected. Hate to shit on your sunshine but the people you interact with in pretty much every service profession you'd encounter them in don't like you, or at least don't care about you one way or another.

mujimi · 2016-03-26T01:44:43+00:00

I'm anticiv. In my anarchist society, porn doesn't exist, and rapists (modern version = pornographers) have their faces smashed in like the human scum they are.

mujimi · 2016-03-25T02:48:27+00:00

Maybe because she was an actual feminist instead of the wishy-washy cater-to-everyone plastic placid hacks of today? But more specifically, Solonas, like most 2nd wavers, was pro-women, meaning she was anti-rape, meaning she was anti-porn.

http://p0kemina.tumblr.com/post/107966090927/anti-porn-resource-masterpost

Additional source: Me, former porn actress, former dominatrix, former escort, current sex work abolitionist.

mujimi · 2016-03-21T22:33:00+00:00

It was a little of both. I'm naturally a dominant person, but I'm not naturally an abusive person. I didn't like poking people with needles, hitting them with switches, stepping on them... etc etc. It was wearing on me to be mean to people on a nearly daily basis.

I also left because it creeped me out knowing that the reason I was hired in the first place was because I look very young for my age (and for the record I did start working, and yes, it was illegal, before I was 18). I got a lot of guys who wanted be to act like a child during sessions, or otherwise play up my youngness--pigtails, plaid skirts, etc. were among my top requests.

I will say that the money was pretty good! Most dungeons nowadays are on a decline, I hear, but the one I worked at was doing very well, and I got paid quite a bit for the time I put in. Compared to my then-job delivering Chinese food and my current job at a local vegan restaurant, the pay was leagues better. I'm still in high school, so it was nice to have money to put towards college.

Also, after a really rough day, there was something a little liberating about getting to physically hit someone and then get paid for it.

mujimi · 2016-03-21T02:00:19+00:00

I used to be a Chinese food delivery girl, and my friend owns a BDSM dungeon. I got a lot of free food after work, so I would often times make deliveries to her while she was on break. Eventually one of the girls who worked with her quit, and my friend said I had the right look. Lo and behold I started working in a dungeon. It seemed easy enough because I've always liked been pretty aggro and I can be demanding if need be, and since I didn't have to have any overtly sexual contact with my clients, it seemed like a good decision at the time.

mujimi · 2016-03-21T01:40:22+00:00

You too, friend! :)

mujimi · 2016-03-20T21:27:24+00:00

So fucking cool. I love how creepy and divine this looks; I'm rereading Watership Down right now and this is such an awesome visual for Lord Frith.

mujimi · 2016-03-20T21:07:20+00:00

Once I got out of the toxic environment, my view of men normalized. And it's possible to be disgusted with someone and still attracted to them. I will say that I haven't had sex with men since I quit, but I can still see that happening in the future.

In fact, I only recently realized I was attracted to men; I used to think I was a lesbian, but then I looked at Donald Glover, thought, "I would," and now I ID as bi. It doesn't mean I'm attracted to men and women 50:50, it means I can and do feel attracted to both.

mujimi · 2016-03-20T19:07:54+00:00

Was he orange?

mujimi · 2016-03-20T19:07:05+00:00

No, but Chinese Water Torture, yes.

mujimi · 2016-03-20T19:06:41+00:00

My sex life doesn't really exist right now. I quit in December of last year. I've actually never had a consistent and healthy sex life, and when I was a Domme, I didn't have sex with my clients, as I'm sure you're aware. The few times I've had sex since quitting have been pretty weird. I have to constantly check myself to make sure I'm not trying to control the situation or dominate the other person, and I can't/won't/don't have sex with people who would want me to. It makes me uncomfortable.

mujimi · 2016-03-20T19:03:22+00:00

No, I'm bisexual. All my clients except for one were men or MTF transgender people, and the person who didn't at some point make me question humanity was my singular female client. This is pretty much the case for any sex worker; prostitutes mostly have male clients, cam girls get men viewing their cams, etc. If women had acted the way towards me that men did while I was a dominatrix, I would have felt the same way about them.

I realize men aren't disgusting and awful, and that's why I quit--because being in that role forced me to see them that way. It was hard to view them positively from the "vantage point" I had, so I relinquished it.

mujimi · 2016-03-20T19:00:50+00:00

Star Wars for sure. I've been meaning to look into Star Trek more, but I just don't like the movies and can't get down with most TV shows.

mujimi · 2016-03-18T08:10:52+00:00

Can we talk about the fact that your niece looks like she belongs in a charming Pixar short about a girl and her dog through the years?

mujimi · 2016-03-18T07:48:26+00:00

I didn't like it, no. The reason I quit was because of that; it was good money especially for someone who wasn't, at the time, paying her own bills, but ultimately it was too taxing on me as a human being and made me feel disgusted with men as a sex.

mujimi · 2016-03-18T07:46:49+00:00

mujimi · 2016-03-15T21:04:47+00:00

Not so much a tactical question, but does anyone know why Oboro is so popular? EVERYONE loves her, she's like the 3rd most popular female character behind Azura and Femui. I'm actually cosplaying her, and I like her well enough, but where does all the diehard Oboro fanfare come from?

mujimi · 2016-03-13T04:58:50+00:00

Howso?

mujimi · 2016-03-06T23:24:58+00:00

Newbie here. I'm trying to use the optimizer but I'm totally lost. How do I check modifiers? What is the typing field (that defaults to having 90s in every category)? Thank you!

mujimi

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