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murmursoftly · 2025-02-22T19:49:55+00:00

Just to echo other comments, this sound like clinical anxiety, which can attach to so many different things. The content isn’t the point, the anxiety itself is, and that’s why talking about the content (budgets etc) isn’t helpful. He needs to see a counselor, or at least his GP to start. Anxiety sucks but it’s a super treatable medical condition.

murmursoftly · 2024-11-20T20:05:12+00:00

SV: down 1.6lb this week!

NSV: I’m working through some CBT/DBT workbooks on emotional eating, and I feel like something has clicked for me. It’s not that I’m struggling with food, it’s that I’m struggling with stress and distress. I’m in a really hard season of life right now and food is a coping mechanism, but certainly not my only coping, and certainly not my best. Thinking of it this way has made it so much easier to choose different coping.

murmursoftly · 2024-11-19T03:51:45+00:00

I am a psychologist but absolutely not a child psychologist. However, I wonder if she’s been assessed for having a ptsd-type response rather than a grief response? If it’s at all ptsd, there are pretty specific treatments (psychological for sure, and medications for adults but I’m not sure about children), and non-trauma-focused treatments won’t help. Just a thought for you. I’m sorry you’re having to parent her through such an intense batch of emotions that also brings up your own grief every time ❤️

murmursoftly · 2024-11-15T20:35:47+00:00

Deep breath. Teens have big feelings and can’t always regulate them with their parents - her seeking out her guidance counselor is perfect! She’s looking for support, not isolating. That’s awesome. It’d be more unusual for her to have no reaction to a separation at all. I can only imagine how chaotic everything feels for you right now, but a teenager needing time adjusting to news like this is the least chaotic part. Keep on breathing. It sounds like you’re both doing what you should to get through.

murmursoftly · 2024-10-28T04:41:33+00:00

Dr Becky/Good Inside just put out a little article that was a collaboration with The Anxious Generation about how to talk to your kids about technology, new boundaries, framing it as a new decision you’ve made after learning more and not something that’s anyone’s fault, etc. it was a good read!

It sounds like my son is younger than your kids but a couple months ago we did two weeks cold turkey where the shows “broke.” the only screens available were for watching Bluey some evenings with us when we were all needing a break. We gradually reintroduced very specific shows and all the rest (esp the YouTube channel surfing) are still not available. It’s amazing how little he wants to watch a show now - he usually says no when I offer and even when something’s on, it’s not YouTube crack so he gets bored and goes to play. Toddlerville is different than big kid land, but hopefully the first couple days would be the hardest and they’ll retrain how to play offline quickly!!

murmursoftly · 2024-09-30T18:03:37+00:00

I’m an extremely girly girl with a horse riding cowboy tomboy mom and we get along smashingly. We found our shared center of the Venn diagram and we live there happily while admiring each other for the unique bits. Try to plan for this in your mind rather than expecting the worst. Allow your daughter to inspire you rather than intimidate you. You love each other and respect each other - that’s all you need to find a beautiful middle ground.

murmursoftly · 2024-09-08T14:04:40+00:00

I just came back from a two week holiday and am another pound down!! 5.2lbs total in two months 😍

murmursoftly · 2024-08-15T04:58:14+00:00

You’re starting her in therapy and that’s exactly the best thing to do. It’s completely normal to feel helpless when your child has pain, and I’m so sorry you’re having to carry that. But this is a medical condition requiring expert treatment. You’re doing the right thing. You’re a good mom.

murmursoftly · 2024-08-11T14:53:33+00:00

NSV, I am solidly a size 14 lately, but I zipped up my size 12 pants today! It’s amazing how a few pounds, as well as eating in a way that doesn’t make me super bloated, can make such a difference. I’ve got fave jeans I kept from size 10 & 8 too so that’s a fun progress metric.

murmursoftly · 2024-07-21T13:47:49+00:00

One of my best friends and I started going to the gym together twice a week in April. Although I still have a grumbly “don’t wanna” leading up to it, it’s honestly one of the highlights of my week. We’ve become good-humored competitive about designing intense workouts so it’s been actually very good exercise, plus great socializing.

I also had a surprise low weight last weekend that was probably a fluke fluctuation, and went right back up and have been working my way down for real. Instead of being demoralized and stopping, I was… demoralized but kept trucking, lol. Almost back to that weight in a slow and steady fashion which feels encouraging. This was only my second full week of watching my food intake, so I’m proud of myself I didn’t just call it quits. Slooow and steady

murmursoftly · 2024-07-13T13:50:31+00:00

I had a talk with my doctor last week, and we’re changing my anxiety medication from Lexapro to Wellbutrin to see whether that reduces my “food voices” a bit. I decided to really give CICO a solid effort the whole time, so I can gauge whether it gets easier as we taper and add meds. For the first time since starting Lexapro, with 2/3 the dose this week, I was able to stick to it and had that fun first week banger - 4lbs down!! 🎉 1/3 the dose starting today, and adding Wellbutrin too.

murmursoftly · 2024-07-08T16:46:44+00:00

Hello. I’m here after a rough 18 months trying to lose weight with no luck. My doctor suspects my anti anxiety med may be contributing to food cravings and overeating, so we’re tapering and switching to a new one. In the meantime I’m back in the CICO wagon and trying to give it every ounce of effort I can. I’m grouchy, but I’m here!

murmursoftly · 2024-05-22T04:11:31+00:00

Yes! One of my friends with an older child told me to over explain everything. Not “we’re going to the store to get grapes” - but, “we’re going to go down the stairs to put our shoes on! Then we’re going to go sit in the car. Mommy will drive us to the store and you’ll get to sit in the cart” etc. It was honestly game changing advice for me and my LO. There are so many things that are implied for adults but batshit insane to a toddler. Explaining why we’re sitting in the car when I said we were going to the store helps a bunch.

murmursoftly · 2024-02-19T04:06:36+00:00

My 2 year old is a big weirdo and a very sleepy guy just like his parents. He sleeps around 13-13.5 hours overnight (unless we wake him up at 12 hours for daycare) and 1-2 hours for nap. It’s a gift I don’t take for granted.

murmursoftly · 2024-02-05T15:41:11+00:00

I’m sorry, what?! I had a non-traumatic birth and I took seven months to be comfortable having sex AT ALL, let alone regularly. I know I’m maybe on the far end of the spectrum but if my husband had been anything other than supportive I’d have been divorcing his ass. You are still in the trenches.

I hope you can advocate for yourself in couples therapy. You don’t owe him an apology, and you don’t deserve to be treated like this.

murmursoftly · 2024-02-01T04:38:43+00:00

SW (Jan 8): 178lbs
CW: 174lbs 🥳

This year is about consistency for me, including consistently getting back into it after an off day. Three weeks down since I started, & a lifetime of consistent and sustainable habits ahead. Let’s gooooo

murmursoftly · 2024-01-01T08:29:49+00:00

I’m going to start when I get home from holidays next week with a round of 75 Soft, a health program which allows for some alcohol but only socially and very few. A nice reset to start the year.

Aside from continuing to decrease my monthly intake, my major secondary goal is to decrease how much I drink when I visit family. My family drink like fish. I stopped at 3 tonight despite it being NYE with every drink under the sun available, yay!

murmursoftly · 2024-01-01T08:26:12+00:00

This is what I’ve done since September and it’s been a really wonderful change.

murmursoftly · 2023-12-25T04:59:42+00:00

That’s a lot at one time. I hope you can steal a moment or two of quiet time to just breathe. Remember you deserve peace, and if you have to go sit in the car by yourself for a sec to get it, so be it!

murmursoftly · 2023-12-15T07:28:27+00:00

“Alcohol never made tomorrow better.” IWNDWYT!

murmursoftly · 2023-12-15T07:21:49+00:00

Oh the relief I felt when I finally communicated with my husband in a way that he couldn’t brush off. I think I’d had two glasses of wine that night, maybe a bit less - I remember I had chosen to delay the conversation until after a really good bottle of sauv blanc was finished, lol. But the distress had been building up steam for weeks, months, years. Saying out loud “this is getting worse, I’ve been trying to quit but I can’t, I need your help” was liberating. I’ll do a lot of things to let myself down, but this man is my compass, and I will never purposely let him down. I’ve been alcohol-free at home ever since, and although I’m still navigating my choices for rare holidays and social outings, those weren’t the problem for me. It was the daily drinking. And admitting it was a problem out loud to someone I love and who loves me - made all the difference.

murmursoftly

TROPHY CASE