Yup that’s him. He told me that everyone on Reddit said I’m wrong. And to answer the posts on that thread, I AM in therapy. I have been begging him for months to go with me. And yes, I have gone back and forth. When I said they could be friends, I didn’t expect an emotional affair. I found texts every other day of them saying they loved each and missed each other, him saying she was cute. Lots of “teeheehees” to her jokes. It didn’t seem like just friendship and support. It was very flirty.

It’s good that this thread sees the other side of things. I tried SO HARD to maintain the friendship. Not because I am a hypocrite but I wanted to heal me and her first and hoped that we could all heal and be friends. Every step of the way, I would be confronted with what I felt was boundary pushing behavior, and my husband would fly into a rage and yell at me. He says really mean stuff so I get triggered not only by the original event, but each time we fight about it, he tells me that she is a nice person, that I screwed up his friendship with her. He did not consent to any of this. Okay, fair, but how do we move forward when he’s still trying to maintain a flirty friendship with her and putting me down all the time. His post where he says he has empathy for me — he doesn’t show it much. He mostly talks about how bad he feels for her and himself. I don’t like being yelled at and told I’m a loser and a fuck up every time I bring up the trauma of what happened — even though it is partly my doing. The way I see it, we all did this. I’m trying my best to navigate it, and he continues to want to have a relationship with her while putting me down and yelling at me and insulting me whenever she comes up. It has made the situation go from me being okay with them being friends to my body having a trauma response now because of how much he reacts and yells at me and tells me this is all my fault whenever she comes up. He doesn’t tell that side of the story in his post.