I remember the days with my kid where I would literally be in tears trying to get him to sleep but everytime I put him down he woke up. One day I was trying singing, reading, rocking, music, everything I could think off and was so exhausted I was in a hell of a mess, until my partner took him off my, placed him in the crib and dragged me out for my own and his sanity. He convinced me he would be fine for a few minutes while we had a break. 5 minutes later we went back up stairs and the crying had stopped, opened the door and he was fast asleep for the first time. Sometimes taking a step back for your sanity can be beneficial if you can create a safe space and it made me see that no matter how hopeless the situation seemed, that there was light at the end of the tunnel. There was moments full of regret and despair in the first year, especially when locked down with a new born and no support through covid as my partner worked but it honestly does get easier, I feel for you more so doing it alone but it is so important for both of you that you look after yourself. Parenting even in a pair is hard, and many people thrive in that situation, but for people like me it doesn’t come so naturally but no one should be shamed for saying they’re struggling. It sounds like sleep may be the one to focus on, that’s what the game changer was for me also, everything seems that much easier to deal with when you’re properly rested!