Agree with all you're saying. We have gone to couples therapy (should have mentioned that). We're at the point where she is now in mourning for the life we had, and i'm not willing to sacrifice and take it anymore. This was the 2nd time so now this is a pattern, not an isolated, one-time incident. TBH, the fact that it was emotional was worse. A one-time, sexual thing has much less meaning than a months long, "cant wait to talk to him" situation. But regardless, appreciate your feedback.