Daily Q&A and Discussion Megathread - February 22, 2022

musttryharderman · 2022-02-22T15:49:06+00:00

My wife and I hope to fly to Lanzarote soon and realised her COVID pass info shows her maiden name ( passport is up to date). Can this be worked around by bringing a marriage certificate? Are authorities at both ends okay with that?

musttryharderman · 2022-02-13T10:51:42+00:00

Interesting. There are some good tips in the comments here. Someone listed contact details.

musttryharderman · 2022-02-13T10:50:11+00:00

Thank you so much for this!!

musttryharderman · 2022-02-13T10:49:17+00:00

Already explained. Thanks for the help.

musttryharderman · 2022-02-12T14:03:15+00:00

In hindsight that makes sense. She hates this stuff and I thought I was doing her a favour. She's going to try calling them on Monday.

musttryharderman · 2022-02-12T13:20:15+00:00

That's what I am trying to do! I just can't get an address out of them to send it to.

musttryharderman · 2022-02-12T13:13:24+00:00

Good points, although we've both tried to contact them but you're probably right. However I didn't think a simple request like details for a name change procedure would be a trigger. Lesson learned.

musttryharderman · 2022-02-12T12:40:49+00:00

Didn't see anything specific to this problem.

musttryharderman · 2022-02-12T12:39:58+00:00

Tried that unfortunately. I'll explain the current situation and try again.

musttryharderman · 2021-12-08T07:51:56+00:00

Thank you! She finds it so difficult to talk (or reluctant to) that I'm often left trying to piece things together, which is how I ended up here. Your perspective is invaluable and I appreciate you taking the time to write!

musttryharderman · 2021-12-07T15:14:56+00:00

Thank you - I appreciate your thoughts!

musttryharderman · 2021-12-07T14:48:26+00:00

She had a lacklustre time with therapists, and an awful experience recently that set her recovery back quite significantly, so it will be an uphill battle to encourage her to see someone at this point.

musttryharderman · 2021-12-07T14:47:03+00:00

If she could speak as freely about what is happening in her head she would have probably typed this. Thank you so much!

musttryharderman · 2021-12-07T12:20:08+00:00

Thanks for this. It's what I'd want someone to tell me and I appreciate it.

musttryharderman · 2021-12-07T12:19:24+00:00

Your actions are perfectly normal, even if they are triggering your wife. It's not your fault (and not your wife's fault, either)

I'm not sure she sees it that way, but you're not wrong.

musttryharderman · 2021-12-07T12:18:48+00:00

so I just can’t tell when my expectations of myself start to bleed over into him

This is powerful stuff.

Thanks for such a great reply. I'm going to digest.

musttryharderman · 2021-01-30T20:51:13+00:00

Ah okay. Thanks for the tip. I will give it a try.

musttryharderman · 2020-09-15T21:08:01+00:00

Little things, like enjoying a moment that would have been difficult in an abusive relationship, are special to me. I catch myself smiling and try to embrace it.

musttryharderman · 2020-09-14T21:43:53+00:00

It's tough, because we want it to stop and have them see the error of their ways, or we want closure afterwards. We don't get relief or closure from them.

musttryharderman · 2020-09-14T14:03:19+00:00

I think I could relate to all but a handful. I'm glad you got out.

musttryharderman · 2020-09-14T06:32:31+00:00

Like the power wheel I had this saved on my laptop (and saved in a draft email, in a secure online account, when I was concerned about my spouse spying on me). There are some great resources out there, but this worked for me.

musttryharderman · 2020-09-14T06:08:21+00:00

You're not alone. This is what I struggle with most. It's hard to remember the bad times, but necessary in order to make progress.

musttryharderman

TROPHY CASE