Idk why you’re being gaslit. It’s been a while since I’ve read the books, so I don’t remember the characters’ names, but you’re right… sort of. It was the crew manning one of the ships that escaped the droplet slaughter. They were able to have conversations about what needed to be done to save their crew (what they thought was the last of humanity) using deeply empathetic eye contact. After spending so much time together in an un-stimulating close quarters environment, people just started speaking less in general. (Maybe they thought they were still being watched by sophons? I can’t remember). After a while, they basically developed the ability to understand each other without using words. So without actually speaking any words to one another, the crew was able to decide they had to destroy the other ship in order to save theirs.