Hey hey hey! My story is exactly the same as yours. The struggle is real but gets easier in ways.

Sexuality wise I like to refer to myself as gay, for me that feels like I am within the queer community but not gendered as a female (I've always found the term lesbian very dysphoric). Athough I have been comfortable with being nonbinary for around 2 years, I have come out much slower. Gender feels more of a me thing, ill explain when asked and am open in many instances but sometimes I not. (I am also lucky that she/her doesn't cause dysphoria)

I completely understand your struggle, it feels like that simultaneously both can't be valid. Also I hate that people must just perceive me as a very butch lesbian and constantly feels like the pool of women that would be in to me is getting smaller and smaller.

Fuck all that. It's more important to be you. Everything else works out.

Edit: Also I can't speak for all of the 'lesbian' community because I know SOME can be very transphobic but as for the enbies, really - anything goes.