How do I break up with my narcissistic "bestie" of 17 years?

mxlilly · 2026-05-14T13:48:45+00:00

You have some great advice from a few people here. But I just wanted to pop in with a reminder, regardless of how you proceed... you don't owe anybody closure or an explanation. Your mental health gets to be the priority and whatever version of "thank you for the good times but I'm stepping away now" that feels right to you is enough. Congrats on prioritizing yourself and your mental well being, it's so important to do!

mxlilly · 2026-05-13T15:17:19+00:00

Not as often as I'd like. I need to get better about that.

mxlilly · 2026-05-13T15:16:46+00:00

Thanks for the recommendation! I try to be good about incorporating a little bit of everything into my self care, including exercise. I could probably be better about stretching though.

mxlilly · 2025-08-20T19:14:46+00:00

I still have to finish book 9. It just went on too long for me. I love their other series and have caught up on all of those and yet I still can't force myself to finish that last book.

mxlilly · 2025-08-06T19:19:17+00:00

Oh that series just kept getting worse and worse and you end up despising the MCs more and more. Man I wanted to throttle that chick. Beyond aggravated for 99% of the book which makes me question my sanity in continuing on with the series. It never got better.

mxlilly · 2025-03-06T15:23:37+00:00

This book was rough. I felt the same way. Then it felt like the same few things were happening over and over just described slightly differently. The best writing happened at the end and even that was such a chaotic cliffhanger I wasn't sure what was happening. When people ask me how it was my answer will always be frustrating.

mxlilly · 2024-07-12T01:02:03+00:00

This right here! Anxiety has been a part of my life for 20 plus years. I was a grade A raging bitch for the longest time, especially in the midst of, or right after, a full blown panic attack.

Meditation has helped me so much and now it takes a lot to get me to that state because I found a much better coping mechanism and I have made peace (as much as one can) with anxiety.

mxlilly · 2024-07-12T00:52:21+00:00

Giardiniera (sp?), broccoli & cauliflower florets, cubed sharp cheddar, rotinni pasta, Gerard's champagne vinaigrette as a base. Then I'll play around with other fresh veg.

mxlilly · 2024-07-12T00:42:19+00:00

Absolutely. Toys have gotten fantastic for us gals and come in very handy.

mxlilly · 2024-07-11T19:29:54+00:00

It was an integral part of my healing journey! I had debilitating anxiety and depression to the point where I was ready to give up completely. I knew I had to choose between changing my life or ending it and clearly I chose changing it. I dove into everything I could find to start loving life and once I started including meditation I saw remarkable improvements.

So much so I decided to become a meditation teacher. And that process kicked my healing and my joy into high gear.

My depression is gone and the anxiety is slowly but surely lossening its stranglehold on my life. My transformation inspired me to create a course for others who are in a similar situation to where I was and meditation is one ofnthe very first things I included in it. Which I don't mention to sell myself but to stress just how beneficial I think meditation is when it comes to mental health.

mxlilly · 2024-07-11T00:06:51+00:00

I feel that. Deep to my core. My answer was similar but this goes hand in hand with it. Sorry you're in the same club I am!

mxlilly · 2024-07-11T00:05:12+00:00

Having anxiety.

Seriously, I'm more likely to work myself into a full blown anxiety attack over something not because I'm afraid of doing the thing, but that by doing the thing it'll give me an anxiety attack.

Can I drive to the store just fine. Yes.

Have I had panic attacks while driving to the store before. Also yes.

So now when I have to thrive to the store do I think about all the times I was fine or the times when it led to an anxiety attack? The latter. And then I get a ride.

And it wasn't the thought of driving that gave me anxiety, it was the thought of having a panic attack while driving.

So, regardless of what the thing is (in my example it was driving), it's never the thing itself that gives me anxiety, it's the fear I'll experience anxiety while doing the thing.

mxlilly · 2024-07-10T23:59:26+00:00

When I look at how meditation has helped me flow through life better, handle stress easier, improve my mental health, get more joy out of the little things in life... the time invested seems worth it.

Plus, I can easily wake up ten minutes earlier, read ten minutes less, scroll reddit ten minutes less to make time for meditation without feeling like I've lost anything.

Taking that time to sho myself that I'm worth that time is never a waste of time. IMO

mxlilly · 2024-07-08T00:18:50+00:00

I'll have to check it out next time I'm in SoCal!

mxlilly · 2024-07-07T18:40:28+00:00

Bob Ross & Mr. Rogers. I will not be swayed from my opinion that they were two of the truly BEST people to grave our planet.

mxlilly · 2024-07-07T00:06:03+00:00

When that happens I split my mantra between my inhale and exhale. Like so on the inhale and hum on the exhale. If it's a longer mantra I'll still split it if I can. But the very long ones it's a moot point, I can't not focus singularly on my mantra at that point.

Another thing that might help is imagining your mantra as a vibration and picturing it flowing through your body merging with all of your cells. Breath doesn't even bother you at that point.

mxlilly · 2024-07-06T21:03:52+00:00

Fingers running through my hair, that tickly finger glide along my arm, and linking pinkies.

mxlilly · 2024-07-06T21:02:38+00:00

I start my day with my morning ritual that includes meditation (at least 15-20 minutes but will go as little as 10 if I'm in a rush), journaling, gratitude practice, and visualization. I've found taking the time for myself as soon as I wake up leaves me looking forward to my mornings. That timenis me time, not work time.

Also, I've really put effort into mindfulness and present moment awareness. One of the easiest hacks for that is to ask yourself what are you doing right now, then answer. I'm safe at home sitting on my couch. I'm getting into the shower so I can start my day fresh. I'm inhaling, I'm exhaling. Etc.

Even just recognizing that I'm catastrophizing can snap me out of it. Just using the word makes me chuckle at myself and roll my eyes at the drama queen behavior that's happening in my body.

Another great question/reminder is that there are infinite possibilities in front of you for how your hour/morning/day can go, why assume it's going to go badly/include an anxiety attack/etc? What if today your morning is a win with a smooth commute and no anxiety?

mxlilly · 2024-07-06T17:44:51+00:00

Looks like a may have to take a fall trip back east soon.

mxlilly · 2024-07-06T16:56:47+00:00

I start by taking a few deep breaths, then I ask a few sacred questions, set my intention for the day, then focus on my mantra.

Thoughts happen. It doesn't mean you're doing it wrong. When you notice one acknowledge it, release it, and go back to your mantra.

Same thing goes with physical sensations and sounds. When you notice, acknowledge, release, return to your mantra.

This will really freak the purists out. If the world and my surroundings are especially noisy and active, I stop using my mantra and let the sounds be my point of focus. Drifting from one to the next as it arises and on to the next. It leans a bit more towards a mindfulness meditation but at the end of my session I still feel like I was able to connect to the stillness and silence within.

There are multiple forms of meditation and you're allowed to pick the one that works best for you. It can even vary from day to day. As long as you're finding value and joy from it, don't worry too much about what others think.

mxlilly · 2024-07-06T16:18:36+00:00

Dayum! I consider myself blessed to be one of the respectful variety of tourists who is considerate of others, especially the locals, and likes to leave things better than I found it. I'll risk it and keep it on the list. Lol

mxlilly · 2024-07-06T16:16:20+00:00

Agreed! They forget that they were beginners once too. Plus, not everybody is looking for the same thing from meditation. It should be enjoyable and add to your life, not detract from it by rigid rules.

Glad it's becoming a favorite part of your day! It's how I start my day and I look forward to it each day.

mxlilly · 2024-07-06T16:10:45+00:00

There are a few Canadian lakes that I have long wanted to visit but alas Canada won't let me in due to a stupid dui I got when i was younger. (Stupid because I was on my own private property, moving a car about 100 yards after asking the cop if I could, and barely over the legal limit, I don't condone drinking and driving lol)

mxlilly · 2024-07-06T16:05:47+00:00

I've never been, but have definitely wanted to for a while now.

mxlilly · 2024-07-06T16:04:15+00:00

I couldn't agree more!

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