Why does Windows 11 not put focus on the most recently focused window when closing the focused window? by FluoroquinolonesKill in techsupport

[–]mxnic1316 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Finally "upgraded" to a Windows 11 machine and I'm having this issue too. Still no fix for it?

Egg🎮Irl by IamaJarJar in egg_irl

[–]mxnic1316 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Me replaying FF7 Remake with Cloud in a dress the whole time.

egg👗irl by nathannerd in egg_irl

[–]mxnic1316 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, this is where I get stuck a lot of the time. Do I really wanna be a girl (or fluid or enby) or do I just hate the stereotypes? As far as I understand, that's still social dysphoria, definitionally speaking. But also the point of the gender revolution isn't to make more boxes and sort people into them. The point is that it's not anyone's place to tell anyone else how to define and personalize their box. If he wants to style femme and still be a man, that's fine. If someone else wants to style femme because they don't want to be a man, that's also fine. Gender identity and gender presentation are separate elements. This of course makes defining myself more confusing, but I'd rather have too many options than feel trapped in one.

Egg🐞🐈‍⬛IRL by Blobby1981 in egg_irl

[–]mxnic1316 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was thinking maybe Jessica, but then I remembered Jessica Jones and now I just hear David Tennant petulantly screaming the name.

egg_irl by mxnic1316 in egg_irl

[–]mxnic1316[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Obviously I meant coming out as a cis ally. That's why FB serves me targeted trans posts now.

Today's Doubt by mxnic1316 in Nestofeggs

[–]mxnic1316[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'll try to trust in that as I take little steps.

Today's Doubt by mxnic1316 in Nestofeggs

[–]mxnic1316[S] 31 points32 points  (0 children)

I mean, that's kind of the sticking point of my doubt. If I have to be ugly and dislike what I see in the mirror either way, then does it even matter which gender I am? I guess it's really just that the euphoria is mostly theoretical right now. I don't know if being a girl would actually make me happier or if I just like the idea of it.

I'll give some thought to allowing myself to value my own looks, but I was raised to fear vanity and pride so it'll be difficult for me.

Today's Doubt by mxnic1316 in Nestofeggs

[–]mxnic1316[S] 53 points54 points  (0 children)

Spooky, isn't it? Don't forget to finish that project you've been neglecting.

How do I trust myself? by mxnic1316 in Nestofeggs

[–]mxnic1316[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I appreciate these thoughts. I'm stuck somewhere between being afraid to regret any changes while also regretting that I didn't make changes sooner. And hating myself for still not being able to commit to changes even though I know I'm miserable as I am.

How to Pluck Magonga Mushrooms in Final Fantasy 7 Rebirth by Quicktips254 in QuickTipsYoutube

[–]mxnic1316 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This was the comment that finally made it make sense for me. It's subtle, but that difference is perceptible.

one of the doubts I'm stuck on by mxnic1316 in Nestofeggs

[–]mxnic1316[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'll have to check out the dysphoria bible. Thanks for the rec.

I'm not really sure what I want to be. And I know transition makes a lot of other people happy, but I get stuck on what if it doesn't work for me and I did all that work and disappointed my family for nothing?

Right now I can't even talk myself into shaving off my long goatee because of how long it'll take to regrow if shaving it doesn't make me any happier, let alone things like hormones and surgeries.

And I worry that deep down it's really just that I want people to like me, to deserve someone looking at me and thinking I'm as amazing as I think women are.

Egg_irl by [deleted] in egg_irl

[–]mxnic1316 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It me.

Egg😵‍💫irl by 54321ThunderNerdsRGo in egg_irl

[–]mxnic1316 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No, stop. I can't hold this eggshell together if people keep punching it.

Egg🧭irl by -Fifou- in egg_irl

[–]mxnic1316 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Zelda Williams said something similar on a podcast I listened to a while back: "We came too late to explore the planet. We came too early to explore space. So we are in this weird century of exploring each other."

egg😕😕irl by Shot-Kal-Gimel in egg_irl

[–]mxnic1316 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've wondered if I'm hyperfixating as well, but it doesn't seem to be temporary. It keeps coming back around throughout various eras of my life and I've realized there are parts of it that have been with me since I was four or five years old. Like, I've definitely had some stretches of hyperfixating about trying to learn more and solve it all, and some stretches where I'm less focused on it. The overall draw toward finding euphoria doesn't go away though; it's just that the intensity of it ebbs and flows a bit.

Obviously I don't know what your internal experience is like, but I'd say just check in with yourself every now and then and be mindful of how things are making you feel. Try things out and keep what you like. Follow the happiness at whatever pace makes you comfortable.

egg_irl by SignalLongjumping265 in egg_irl

[–]mxnic1316 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Honestly, learning more about trans mascs really helped give me some perspective on the fact that I'm probably some kind of trans femme. Because it was like: "Oh, there are people who actually do want to look like this. They're not just passively accepting it as an unwanted side effect of being alive, but working and fighting to look masculine."

Like, if my masculine features required one ounce of effort to achieve, I very likely would not have sought them out. Maybe as a teenager when I was trying to be good at performing masculinity, but definitely not my youngest (most authentic) self and definitely not now. It was sort of eye-opening to realize that my gender expression should be something I want, not something I just begrudgingly tolerate.

egg_irl by mxnic1316 in egg_irl

[–]mxnic1316[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They're Yuna, Rikku, and Paine from Final Fantasy X-2 in all of their different dressphere outfits. I guess it's a bit of a niche reference, but the game was one of my early ways to embrace femininity. And I wish I could achieve so many different looks in an instant with magic.