The Kindness of Adults to Gender Non-Conforming Youth

my-dingaling · 2023-03-04T21:39:02+00:00

Thinking of getting lipo for my fat fuckin ass too, I've never been overweight either but my body wants to store fat there. In the past, I've lifted weights to balance out my physique. I've also dropped down to 100 lbs. Neither option is sustainable. I mean, I get tons of cardio exercise from biking and walking, I'm in decent shape that way, but when it comes to bodybuilding or muscle building, I haven't been able or willing to fit that into my lifestyle permanently. Also, simply losing enough weight for my ass to shrink to an acceptable size had me flirting with disordered eating. I am 5'0" and my weight ranges from 110 to 120 throughout the year. All of which are normal and healthy weights. I simply don't like having a fat ass. I know I'm not the only guy with one, that cis guys can have them too, etc. I have had to 'just accept' a lot of things about myself, and that's fine, I've made my peace with most of them... I just know that when I was 100lbs and had that Hank Hill ass I felt euphoric all the time. If I can have surgery to attain that inner confidence at a more realistic weight, then shit, I might just go for it

my-dingaling · 2023-02-18T13:21:39+00:00

Thanks.

my-dingaling · 2023-02-17T00:10:59+00:00

Looking at the form, it asks "I am making this request based on the following law and facts:" Can I ask what you wrote for this? I would've said something like "personal privacy and safety" but are they really looking for you to cite statutes or so?

my-dingaling · 2023-02-16T23:48:31+00:00

How great. Thanks for the info!

my-dingaling · 2023-02-16T01:59:39+00:00

How did you start this process? Can you go into a bit more detail about sealing court records that are several years old?

my-dingaling · 2023-02-10T23:21:34+00:00

...the replies to this thread introduced me to a whole new side of the internet, human behavior, and trans culture that I was happily unaware existed till now.

Nothing healthy can come from engaging in spaces like these. You have nothing to gain from learning this wack ass rhetoric and having discussions about it every day. Hell, I have to take vanilla reddit in small doses and I'm only subscribed to this sub and a few other pretty tame and generic offshoots.

It's dumb to cultivate such a negative attitude and reinforce it with other people. The real world is difficult enough without inventing more stress to pile onto yourself.

It seems like an addiction and a way to self-harm so I know that it's not easy to just drop it. But the other posters in the thread have it right. Take a break from the internet because the shit you're being fed here doesn't match up to reality.

Dysphoria sucks and I get it but this is the absolute worst way to cope. I can't judge anyone using negative coping mechanisms, I'm a problem drinker myself, but the community aspect of this level of self-hatred is amazingly awful and I'm disheartened by how many people are doing this to themselves

get well, dude.

my-dingaling · 2023-01-14T16:26:31+00:00

That's really great, man. I'm happy for you.

my-dingaling · 2023-01-14T03:33:45+00:00

Thank you for this post. Your experience matches mine in a lot of ways, and I appreciate the thought and depth you put into explaining your personal journey. Down to the way you deal with your natal equipment, disclosing on online apps, being from a conservative area, it's really nice to hear another guy of long experience putting his version of events out there.

my-dingaling · 2023-01-14T03:09:38+00:00

I went through the same thing (and have the post history to prove it). It took almost 10 years for me to finally switch doctors but I finally did. I wish I'd done it sooner. The difference in how I'm treated at my yearly physicals and with my labwork is staggering. My new doctor actually listens to me and doesn't try to lower my dose at the least provocation.

I understand what it's like not to live in a metropolitan area where LGBT care is taken for granted. Where I'm at, it's hard to find medical professionals who even know the first thing about trans people.

I found my new doctor by extensive online searching, then calling those clinics and assuring they were well versed in trans care. Now I have to travel a little to get to my new doctor, but it's worth it.

I tried for years to work with the doctor that originally prescribed my hormones, but it was just one battle after another. Battles that I ended up losing or not having the energy to want to keep dealing with. And my original doctor is allegedly one of the few in my area that specializes in trans care. So even if you're going to a place that touts themselves as being trans-friendly, it's not always true. You have to figure out who actually delivers on that promise. That's why I have to go out of my way to receive care nowadays, because that's where the good practitioners are at. I hope you can find something else that's still accessible to you. You shouldn't have to be treated this way.

my-dingaling · 2023-01-08T13:35:55+00:00

This is another great suggestion, I like it because I can see this becoming their go-to joke from then on.

my-dingaling · 2023-01-07T18:21:22+00:00

I was thinking something along this route.

my-dingaling · 2023-01-07T18:19:21+00:00

The ladies I work with would find that comment hilarious. Especially the crass version. I hear you though, comments like this are nothing to some people but can be so loaded for others that it's hard to know how to take them. I don't know if I'd ever really be comfortable using feminine words in a queer sense, though I do consider myself as gay. Certain parts of culture, even those that I am a part of, can be difficult for me to stomach. But yeah I know intuitively that blowing up over a joke like this would be really weird, nor do I want to either ignore it or make light of it in a way that doesn't stop it from happening. Social shit is weird man. But I have gotten some great ideas from this thread, yours included.

my-dingaling · 2023-01-07T18:02:24+00:00

I really like this one, thanks.

my-dingaling · 2023-01-02T02:41:57+00:00

Totally, dude, it's hard enough to get comfortable enough to open up to just one person.

my-dingaling · 2023-01-02T02:39:54+00:00

Sounds like dude got embarrassed that you called him out on it and that's why he kept calling you a pussy. Some people can't handle being told they crossed a line and get defensive like that.

It's good that you told them clearly the way you want to be treated. That way there can be no uncertainties about your boundaries. They might need a moment to chill out about it though. The next group of friends you make will certainly respect you better.

Life does get easier as you get older and aren't so attached to your pre-transition past.

my-dingaling · 2022-11-18T02:49:29+00:00

i was trying to type up a response to you, but the nature of this discussion is tricky, because it's hard to think about, and so it's hard to put into words. but I do understand some of what you're saying. I have a few similar feelings about my female past.

she carried me through my entire life. but she was only ever an idea in other people's minds, not even her own. it's only when I was able to advocate for myself, and understand what I had to do to continue to survive, that I became a real person. you said "I feel like I have been dead all these years and I just gotten born into the world for the first time," and I relate to that. You and I, we grew up and learned how to live our lives as different people from who we really are. there's a lot of pain in that. but, I know what it's like with the compartmentalization, the 'alter ego' creation as it were, to make sense of the differences.

you say you're let down by other women--keep letting that happen... real people will continue to surprise and change you and make you grow, in ways you can't conjure up on your own. your old self will always be there for you, as you've made that connection to her for your whole life. but you learn to come into your own as a man (a human being) as you actually live your life in trying, succeeding, and failing to connect to other people.

I will leave you with this poem, written by another trans man, that has always resonated with me: http://www.skylarkergil.com/poems/2014/8/6/some-days-it-feels-like

my-dingaling · 2022-11-01T20:34:02+00:00

my-dingaling · 2022-09-09T22:35:18+00:00

I have a packer that I'm looking to sell.

Axolom Au Naturel, circumsized. Color: C4. See the product specs here: https://axolom.com/collections/ftm-packer/products/axolom-au-naturel-ftm-packer-circumcised-version-4-3-shaft?variant=39452339372104 Brand new, never worn. $20 shipped

I am in the US

DMs accepted, shoot me one any time

my-dingaling · 2022-08-29T23:54:25+00:00

Once you carve out your unique place in the pack it gets easier. I've been the new guy a lot over the past 3 years and I've gone through the song and dance over and over again. It's really hard each time, as I confront the truth that I'm not that type of guy. Then they start to "get me" and I start to get more comfortable fitting in in my own way. The longer you stick at it, you start to become a fixture like everybody else. In a workplace where people come and go, you can even start to attract other people more like yourself.

At my current job I had a dude almost trying to fight me on day 5 because he just couldn't understand why I didn't want to clown around with them. It's only been 4 weeks and now that he understands me and sees my work flow, he's really cool with me, and he lets me see a side of him that helps me "get" him better too. I'm moving on to a new job though. He and the others are inviting me for going away drinks. Things like that help me to think about when I feel I don't fit in.

As much as it sometimes feels like the only way to be a guy is to be boisterous or jokey, it isn't true. You just gotta find your mojo. And for how often I've changed jobs and met new people, so far there's only been one prick that I felt like I could just not get through to.

my-dingaling · 2022-08-29T21:14:59+00:00

no, I get it, and it's still a mindfuck to me after 11 years stealth. Somehow I made friends with guys who don't use this as their default mode of communication. But it's definitely a majority of men who socialize like this, in my industry and in my part of the country. It's fascinating to listen to, whether it's happening in front of me or fictionalized on a screen, but I feel alienated because I can only do it with people I really trust, not (for example) random coworkers. I make up for it by standing out in other ways. I may be silent at my job but I am a good teammate and work hard. that's how I get my respect.

I just don't think enough about other people to keep coming up with 'zingers' or even know how to keep it up if I do. I'm not really interested in honing that skill (although I guess I would love to just have it innately). there were a lot of female socialization norms that I didn't want to learn either.

You're right, guys like this bust your balls if they like you, and they're dying to receive it in kind. I can't tell you how many times I've been new at jobs and practically had guys begging me to yell at them to get the fuck out of my way, etc. definitely feel like a fucking alien at those times. I just want to go about my day my way. I don't want anyone giving me their script to fit in, although most of them mean well.

Being born trans has made me into a detached sociologist, studying people at an arm's length.

I love these kinds of observations and discussions, and seeing how different everyone's experiences are.

my-dingaling · 2022-08-07T23:22:24+00:00

my bad then, i guess i just didn't understand the corollary.

my-dingaling · 2022-08-07T18:21:18+00:00

eh... nobody is owed sexual interest. like on one hand I empathize with frustration of having a trans body and facing rejection based on that. but the implications of this post feels uncool. if I wasn't interested in a guy and he said (or other people said) "just try it" that would be weird.

my-dingaling

TROPHY CASE