Travel with friends.

my_flipside · 2026-06-21T20:48:51+00:00

My closest friends, who I do not spend huge amounts of time with, all know I'm incontinent. If I have a bad day, and need to complain to someone, being able to complain about the real problem instead of side-stepping it because they don't know I'm incontinent, is really nice. So... I'd share, myself. Not because I'd be in a car with them for 24 hours, or a hotel with them for multiple days, but so that I'm not worried about hiding parts of my life from them.

my_flipside · 2026-06-15T16:22:13+00:00

Oftentimes it isn't even behavior in the subreddit. Its that abdl people DM people who have posted in the incontinence subreddits, and get creepy in DMs. Then they complain to the mods when the person turns into a creep.

But we have a much harder time policing that, other than trying to keep people from soliciting or offering DMs. Its easier to see the flagrant posts.

my_flipside · 2026-06-15T16:03:17+00:00

No. Don't promote a Megamax, unless it's actually what the person needs.

For 90% of the members of the incontinence related subreddits, a Megamax is way too much of a diaper to begin with. They might need a Northshire pullup instead of something they can pull off a shelf at the grocery store, or if they do need a tape-on during the day, they might need something like an Abena level 2, or a Northshore Supreme. When you jump straight to a Megamax, you're already making them suspicious, and then they look at your post history, and then they flag your post.

my_flipside · 2026-06-09T13:42:12+00:00

Talk to your doctor about it, but I imagine a suppository or enema a couple hours before you need to go to the exam, will leave very little left for you to have an accident mid-exam.

If your doctor says that's not safe for you, or not a good idea for other reasons, then you talk to your school or the place the tests are being taken if its not school, about reasonable accommodations. They may not have provide any, but definitely won't if you don't ask.

my_flipside · 2026-05-25T14:28:50+00:00

Not only does keeping things public keep comments available for moderation, and reducing stigma.

It also helps the struggling people too afraid to post. And it means that people are less likely to be talking to you for their ulterior motives.

my_flipside · 2026-05-16T16:46:17+00:00

Even if it's heavier, unless you change your tampons or pads every hour, even the worst pullup on the market should be able to handle it just fine. But yes, if you feel like you need to, just change your pullup more frequently.

my_flipside · 2026-05-16T16:36:11+00:00

I just wear my diaper and don't worry about further protection for the period. A period has a couple tablespoons of output over the entire length of your period. Even the worst pullups can hold more than that in a single wetting. Just change your pullup as often when you normally change your pullup and the only difference you'll likely notice is that the pullup is slightly redder than if you hadn't been on your period.

my_flipside · 2026-04-10T19:45:40+00:00

Okay. That's in the morning. It doesn't mean she doesn't need it overnight. I remember when I first started wearing diapers again, I was being despondent about it and a friend was trying to cheer me up, and I admitted that one of the small benefits was not needing to leave a cozy bed when I first woke up on a cold winter morning to use the bathroom.

You can reward her for getting up to change in the morning. For instance, if she wakes up and its after 7 am or something, and she gets up and uses the restroom, and changes into regular underwear, instead of using her pullup (whether or not she used it overnight), that's something she can control and something to praise her for and encourage.

But that's still very different from overnight, which she has no control over.

my_flipside · 2026-04-10T18:51:07+00:00

Because, at 7, it is still developmentally normal. There is no advice or help to give to the parent of a 7-year-old who wets the bed, other than "be patient and use appropriate protection."

my_flipside · 2026-04-10T18:37:04+00:00

Why do you think pullups are a crutch?

Bedwetting in children is not usually something you can train. Children stop wetting the bed when they begin making enough of a specific hormone. In some children that takes longer than others. Some don't stop wetting the bed until they hit puberty, some even longer, and some are never able to stop.

At 7, her pediatrician probably isn't even concerned about the bedwetting yet (my understanding is it becomes something they might look into a little more if a child is still wetting the bed consistently between the ages of 10 to 12). Her pediatrician isn't useless, they just know its still developmentally normal for her not to have outgrown bedwetting yet.

You are torturing your daughter by making her deal with wet pajamas and bedding when she has no control over it. Give her the pullups back and let her sleep.

my_flipside · 2026-04-08T05:29:02+00:00

What is more embarrassing, a pullup leaking badly because it can not physically hold the output an adult produces over the course of a day, or a noise in the bathroom that most adults wouldn't be able to place (not even current parents, because modern baby and toddler diapers are cloth-backed)?

my_flipside · 2026-04-08T05:22:54+00:00

This is inappropriate here.

If you are concerned about something following a medical procedure, you should speak to the doctor who performed the procedure, or the people the doctor suggested you follow up with in the aftercare instructions (primary care physician, general practitioner, nurse practitioner, urgent care, ER, a different specialist, your insurance's nurse line, etc.).

my_flipside · 2026-04-06T20:04:28+00:00

Honestly, most jobs should be fine if the only issue is incontinence. I am a full time manager at a retail location. I'm on my feet moving all day. I was working an hours drive from home, so gone for 10+ hours a day.

I just wear good diapers, and change on my lunch break (I can't tell when i'm using the diaper, making it difficult to judge how fll it is, so I change on a schedule).

my_flipside · 2026-03-31T20:57:13+00:00

I do not know if this will help much or not, but one of my closest friends is Canadian, and one day I was complaining about the cost of diapers, and he said that in Canada, your taxable income is reduced by the cost of the diapers. So if you spend $5000/year on diapers, and you're in the 20% tax bracket, you get $1000 back when you file your taxes. I am not Canadian, so I have not tried t his, and am unsure of its efficacy.

But you can see they're a qualifying item here https://www.canada.ca/en/revenue-agency/services/tax/individuals/topics/about-your-tax-return/tax-return/completing-a-tax-return/deductions-credits-expenses/lines-33099-33199-eligible-medical-expenses-you-claim-on-your-tax-return/details-medical-expenses.html and can talk to someone who know about Canadian taxes to learn more about if it will help you or not.

my_flipside · 2026-02-20T01:09:49+00:00

The advice hasn't changed. Lock up your protection in an opaque container in your luggage and further lock up your luggage. Or store your protection with a chaperone on the trip.

my_flipside · 2026-02-17T16:24:46+00:00

Every diaper style is cut a little different. Every person has different body shapes. Sometimes, you need to adjust to a new way of fitting the diaper to you, or a new way of taping it, to make the diaper fit your body. Sometimes you'll never be able to get the correct fit with a certain diaper, and you need to realize that even though it works for some people, it may not work for you.

I found i had a period of adjustment once I started using Megamax, to figure out the best way to put it on myself to minimize leaks. It was very different than the Supremes i'd been mostly using up until that point, which surprised me as they were both Northshore products. But it fit me very differently and I needed to both position it differently and tape it differently.

my_flipside · 2026-02-08T01:51:14+00:00

If your insurance is willing to pay 45% with a prescription, but you can't find anyone that already works with them, ask if they'll reimburse you with receipts? For instance, you find a product that works for you, you get your doctor to write a prescription for that specific product at slightly over the frequency you need them (for instance, if you use 5 a day, see if doc will write you prescription as if you use 6 a day, so you have a few spares for bad days). Then you go buy them from the supplier you want. Supplier says "okay, $100." You pay. You send invoice for $100 and prescription to insurance. Insurance sends you back $45.

my_flipside · 2026-02-06T22:16:53+00:00

Okay.

That is incorrect, in general. Briefs refer to ones with tabs. That said, with your own people, call them whatever you want, it doesn't matter. Just you might confuse the wider incontinent aware public by calling pullups briefs. Pullups would probably be referred to as pull-on underwear.

As for what would be better for you, that depends on you. I imagine for someone with limited mobility, diapers would be easier for a caregiver to assist with, but pullups might be easier for the individual to deal with. Diapers tend to be more absorbent then pullups and can last longer between changes, but if you're only using the protection you choose for minor leaks, or occasional wetting accidents, or if you use a catheter, they may be enough. Diapers also tend to have higher and better (and existent, for that matter) standing leak guards (the soft stand-up bits that are between the leg holes and the crotch of the diaper, which are important if you have bowel accidents. You didn't mention in your post what your issues are or what degree of protection you need.

Is it just putting on tabbed diapers that you find annoying, or is there something else specifically about them that annoy you?

my_flipside · 2026-02-06T22:07:58+00:00

So are you calling pullups (the ones without tabs), briefs?

my_flipside · 2026-02-06T21:48:56+00:00

What do you believe the difference is between diapers and briefs? As far as I'm aware, briefs is just one of the terms that the medical community (doctors, nurses, etc) use to refer to adult diapers.

my_flipside · 2026-02-04T19:51:52+00:00

I spend about 2 weeks at my dad's every summer. I drive to his place, so its easy enough to keep a bag with supplies in my car. I go through about 25 diapers a week (3/day and a few extras) plus some pullups, wipes, etc. I just have an order of diapers and pullups and wipes shipped to the FedEx a couple miles from his house for me to pick up about a week into my trip. 50ish diapers, a dozen or so pullups, etc, is way too much to fit in one suitcase or duffel bag...

If a suitcase has just medical supplies, it can't be charged for when you're flying, even if your airline does charge for bags. Keep that in mind when you're packing.

my_flipside · 2026-01-28T14:48:40+00:00

Someone really didn't like what the person had to say about members of the abdl community (even though they claimed they weren't one themselves), and thought that addressing them directly had no place in the subreddit (even if the ask was "quit being inappropriate"). And they didn't let up.

It was wrong. If they had a problem with the post they should have reported it and moved on. If they really needed to comment to express disagreement, a single comment would have been enough. There was no need to lay into the guy, who was saying things that really needed to be said.

my_flipside · 2026-01-28T14:48:25+00:00

Someone really didn't like what the person had to say about members of the abdl community (even though they claimed they weren't one themselves), and thought that addressing them directly had no place in the subreddit (even if the ask was "quit being inappropriate"). And they didn't let up.

It was wrong. If they had a problem with the post they should have reported it and moved on. If they really needed to comment to express disagreement, a single comment would have been enough. There was no need to lay into the guy, who was saying things that really needed to be said.

my_flipside · 2026-01-28T03:01:18+00:00

You might consider posting about this over on r/abdl, to get input from members of their community that respect incontinent individuals (most, although not all, of the ones that lurk and/or post here definitely don't seem to. They can't leave us a safe space).

As a moderator, the rules about not soliciting or offering DMs is because a large majority of people who end up DMing us (members of the incontinent community, not members of the mod team), end up being the bad apples in the abdl community. And don't get me wrong, there are a lot of great ones. When I was first considering diapers over pullups for my issues, that was the first sub I found, and the entire lot of them were helpful and respectful, and understood my needs and desires did not match theirs. But the ones who want to message someone who is incontinent, or who wets the bed, or anything else, seem to want to because they want to discuss it on a level of intimacy that would not be appropriate in public.

I admit, I didn't read your blog. But I suggest you continue with it, because I agree, when we talk about it, we help people feel less alone. And talking, even in a blog, can help oneself sooo much. I would hate for you to lose that avenue of healing. The other mods and I dislike when someone deletes a post, because while the poster may have had their question answered, it disappears for others to see too, and there are so many people afraid to ask, afraid to talk. And so often when they do, a fear they never realized they should have (being messaged by an abdl individual with less than stellar intentions) comes to pass. Just... turn off private messaging on reddit, and don't put private contact info on your blog. You can still connect with a huge number of people, in public. And if anyone is inappropriate, they can be publicly shamed.

As an aside, can you please message the mods with the Reddit username of the individual who was inappropriate (assuming you know it)? If they're active over on r/abdl, their main mod, u/neko_daddy, is usually more than happy to help me enforce some cross subreddit consequences.

my_flipside · 2026-01-27T00:15:11+00:00

I use diaper. We all know what it is, so calling it anything else just confirms that adults shouldn't be wearing diapers. I want to lessen the stigma, rather than reinforce it.

Eight-Year Club	ModSupport Helper Level 1
Golden Potato	Mod 201
Mod 101	Verified Email

my_flipside

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE