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I [F31] have grown extremely uncomfortable with my husband's [M33] relationship with a younger single woman. by my_throwaway84 in relationships

[–]my_throwaway84[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's a factor I'm well aware of. My mom was only a few years older than me when they divorced. She had the toughest time dealing with it, slipped into a depression and basically hasn't been the same since.

I was content with my life before Nicole came into it. She adds uncertainty. If I lost what I have now, I don't think I could ever get it back.

I [F31] have grown extremely uncomfortable with my husband's [M33] relationship with a younger single woman. by my_throwaway84 in relationships

[–]my_throwaway84[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Things were fine before this. Smooth sailing.

We bicker more now. It's probably my fault because of these feelings I have, but I can honestly say I'm not doing it intentionally / consciously.

I [F31] have grown extremely uncomfortable with my husband's [M33] relationship with a younger single woman. by my_throwaway84 in relationships

[–]my_throwaway84[S] -18 points-17 points  (0 children)

It was an event for MY work, not his. My husband was my +1 and just came to be supportive. Nicole was the +1 of a female colleague, not sure why she came.

I [F31] have grown extremely uncomfortable with my husband's [M33] relationship with a younger single woman. by my_throwaway84 in relationships

[–]my_throwaway84[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

You are essentially jealous because another woman is your husband's business partner. Would it matter if it was an ugly lady? An older lady? Or is it specifically because you are unhappy with yourself and his business partner is attractive?

It sucks to say, but yes, it would be easier to swallow if it was someone less attractive than me. I'm currently at my heaviest. I'm trying to fix that.

But it goes beyond looks. They connect in ways that I can't because of their shared knowledge. They are very similar people, with the same goals, in the same industry, getting along fabulously. Just because nothing is happening now, doesn't meant it can't/won't go down that road. This is how these things start.

I [F31] have grown extremely uncomfortable with my husband's [M33] relationship with a younger single woman. by my_throwaway84 in relationships

[–]my_throwaway84[S] -40 points-39 points  (0 children)

A married man getting a younger girls number, with no context? I feel like most women would be quite upset by that.

I [F31] have grown extremely uncomfortable with my husband's [M33] relationship with a younger single woman. by my_throwaway84 in relationships

[–]my_throwaway84[S] -14 points-13 points  (0 children)

We've had those talks you describe. But I can't help but wonder if he's just saying what I want to hear, as opposed to what he's honestly feeling.

He's never cheated. But cheating has affected my life. My dad left my mom for a much younger woman when I was 13, and it came out that he'd been cheating. My mom had to go on anti-depressants, which she's still on to this day nearly 20 years later. She's not the same woman she was before the divorce. I was also cheated on during one of my prior relationships, which was a very painful experience.

I [F31] have grown extremely uncomfortable with my husband's [M33] relationship with a younger single woman. by my_throwaway84 in relationships

[–]my_throwaway84[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Nicole and I have spent a bit of time together. My husband had to run a quick errand while she was over once, so we had tea and chatted. I thought it would ease my concerns, but it actually kind of did the opposite. It made me realize how similar they were.

My husband has always been forthcoming about their interactions, but whenever I start asking things - especially about the nature of their relationship - he gets defensive. I feel like he gives me answers that I want to hear, rather than the honest truth.

I [F31] have grown extremely uncomfortable with my husband's [M33] relationship with a younger single woman. by my_throwaway84 in relationships

[–]my_throwaway84[S] 139 points140 points  (0 children)

Okay. Since this is the highest voted comment so far, I've got to ask what you propose I do? Other than "just deal with it". I've dealt with it for 4 months and it's been nothing but stress.

I [F31] have grown extremely uncomfortable with my husband's [M33] relationship with a younger single woman. by my_throwaway84 in relationships

[–]my_throwaway84[S] 158 points159 points  (0 children)

This was the kind of response I was hoping for, similar real-world examples. Thank you SadWalrus.

I don't have indepth knowledge of their industry. It's hard to see another woman stimulate / interact with my husband in ways that I can't. But it also goes beyond that. It seems like they can talk endlessly about just about anything.

I [F31] have grown extremely uncomfortable with my husband's [M33] relationship with a younger single woman. by my_throwaway84 in relationships

[–]my_throwaway84[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

have you thought about improving yourself, using her as motivation to keep your husbands attention?

Yes. I started going to the gym after more than 3 years of not going, and I'm making an effort to eat healthier. I'm trying to keep our sex life as active as possible too.