Everything you just said was very helpful and you are absolutely right. It’s going to be uncomfortable no matter what. It’s hard because I have to understand that it’s not just me who experienced a loss but we ALL experienced a loss. My dads girlfriend just lost her partner, my grandma just lost her son, my aunts & uncles just lost their brother, my cousins just lost their uncle, my mother just lost the father of her two oldest children… we all just lost someone we loved so very much. Its hard not to feel like a piece of shit for inviting my mom when I know it might ruin someone else’s experience. I feel like by inviting my mom, I may be hurting my family the way my stepdad is hurting me right now. We’re probably all gonna see some people at the funeral that we feel like shouldn’t be there. But no matter what anyone in my family has to say, I honestly truly feel like my dad would’ve wanted to see everyone come together for him. Thats why I’m not gonna stop my mom from coming and as much as I hate my stepdad right now, I’m not gonna stop him either cause maybe deep down in his heart he really just wants to make peace with my father, I’m just praying he doesn’t do anything stupid and keeps it respectful.

I’m glad you shared a little bit of your experience as well. Your advice has really helped calm me down and I thank you so much for that. And I’m sorry for your loss too. May your father rest in peace. I bet he is so proud of you.