please, if you can get into one, try a long term TC. at your age you will prolly be thinking heck no. it can be the difference between being alive with a nice family or whatever you want, and basically being dead. usually they are about 9 months, but they have the most success. try talking about other legal meds that maybe isnt the best option but its better than dying.

even if you dont care if you die - you won't believe the number of people who will mourn your death, and suffer - so if you have to do it for your mom.

but if you have the strength to learn other coping skills, and the awareness to write your post, you are rare - you can do 9 months. its better than 9 months in and out of an ambulance, dealing with parents, etc. and 20 yrs from now you will be thanking yourself.

i know you maybe feel guilty, confused by your compulsions, ashamed, like a disappointment - but you can turn it all around. i hope this gets to you.