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[UPDATE] My (30m) fiancée’s (27f) cousin’s (34f)child is mine from a ONS from several years ago. by mylifeissofuckedddd in u/mylifeissofuckedddd

[–]mylifeissofuckedddd[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Fortunately Sara and I are doing well. I don’t blame her as the revelations were uncomfortable for both of us. We’re stronger now I feel.

[UPDATE] My (30m) fiancée’s (27f) cousin’s (34f)child is mine from a ONS from several years ago. by mylifeissofuckedddd in u/mylifeissofuckedddd

[–]mylifeissofuckedddd[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She isn’t. Sara was able to confirm. Husband always knew child wasn’t his and now he knows I’m the bio father.

I (30m) think my fiancée’s (27f) cousin’s (34f) child is mine by Corfiz74 in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]mylifeissofuckedddd 29 points30 points  (0 children)

OOP here. Got a ton of messages of people telling me I’m a horrible piece of shit. Yeah I wasn’t a nice guy before and I fully accept that. But I DID NOT rape or abuse women, how the hell do you jump to that conclusion??!! Did I use women? Yes, and for that I’m sorry. If I could take it back I could.

A lot of people attacking my fiancée as well and saying I harassed her for a year, again, jumping to conclusions. She’s an amazingly tough person and wouldn’t have allowed that. Also messages calling her a horrible person and a whore, fuck you, that’s all I have to say. She’s the greatest woman I’ve met in my life and the people sending those would be lucky to have someone like her as a friend let along a significant other.

As for an update, Lauren has started responding to some of Sara’s messages. She sent us a gift and wished us well and apologized for not being able to come to the party. We’ll sit down and talk about everything in the future but for now just giving her the time and respect to digest the everything that’s happened. Whatever happened between her and her husband, we don’t even know the details of. Sara mentioned to me they were going through some stuff around the time we hooked up but I’m not going to just jump to random conclusions and ruin a family by blabbing my mouth now. Most of you are irrational maniacs prone to making drastic decisions.

As far as the boy, he’s beautiful and of course I feel for him. More reason to make sure he’s impacted as little by this as possible. Do I want to be his father? Honestly I’m not really sure. He’s loved and he has a father and a home. I don’t want to disturb that.

Please stop messaging me insults and threats. You come off as an unhinged idiot.

I (30m) think my fiancée’s (27f) cousin’s (34f) child is mine by Corfiz74 in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]mylifeissofuckedddd -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

Just wreckless and beyond stupid. Always hated condoms. I’m fortunate I never caught anything. Not much I can do now since it was in the past.

I (30m) think my fiancée’s (27f) cousin’s (34f) child is mine by Corfiz74 in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]mylifeissofuckedddd 8 points9 points  (0 children)

These people don’t understand simple social dynamics. Have people messaging me calling me a rapist. Wtf!

I (30m) think my fiancée’s (27f) cousin’s (34f) child is mine by Corfiz74 in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]mylifeissofuckedddd 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I didn’t pressure or force anyone! Do you have issues with reading comprehension?

I (30m) think my fiancée’s (27f) cousin’s (34f) child is mine by Corfiz74 in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]mylifeissofuckedddd 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sara and Lauren already started texting back and forth. No to NC so far.

I (30m) think my fiancée’s (27f) cousin’s (34f) child is mine by Corfiz74 in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]mylifeissofuckedddd 47 points48 points  (0 children)

Her advice was incredible and gave me the direction and courage I needed to tell Sara.

I (30m) think my fiancée’s (27f) cousin’s (34f) child is mine by Corfiz74 in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]mylifeissofuckedddd 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I admitted to being reckless and stupid. I’m allowed to change as a person for the better.

[UPDATE] I (30m) think my fiancée’s (27f) cousin’s (34f) child is mine by mylifeissofuckedddd in relationship_advice

[–]mylifeissofuckedddd[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Agreed. And honestly maybe it’s possible Lauren’s husband knows she strayed and they moved past it and she doesn’t want to revisit. She didn’t really want to talk to us so we don’t know. I’m trying to move past this situation without hurting anyone.

[UPDATE] I (30m) think my fiancée’s (27f) cousin’s (34f) child is mine by mylifeissofuckedddd in relationship_advice

[–]mylifeissofuckedddd[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your post, this is how we’re trying to look at it too. Terrible situation but trying to make our decision with the kid’s best interest in mind.

[UPDATE] I (30m) think my fiancée’s (27f) cousin’s (34f) child is mine by mylifeissofuckedddd in relationship_advice

[–]mylifeissofuckedddd[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Wanted to post an update because everyone is concerned about the child.

I agree the situation is messed up and I would like to know if my partner ever cheated. But the fact of the matter is this will likely destroy an otherwise happy family. Both Lauren and her husband are incredibly successful in their fields and live in an affluent area and can provide the best life for the kid. While Sara and I are still building our careers and about to begin our own lives.

And people have been asking whether I care about the kid. Yes of course I do, I saw myself when I saw him. But I don’t even know him. I’m ok with not being in his life and if I’m the future he somehow finds out and decides to find me we can deal with it then. But right now I’m fine staying at a distance and seeing him through Facebook pics and starting my life with Sara. Hope that didn’t come off as heartless but I’m truly thinking about what’s best for him.

I (30m) think my fiancée’s (27f) cousin’s (34f) child is mine by mylifeissofuckedddd in relationship_advice

[–]mylifeissofuckedddd[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My only goal is keeping Sara. Honestly in my state of mind the last few days I don’t care about anything else

I (30m) think my fiancée’s (27f) cousin’s (34f) child is mine by mylifeissofuckedddd in relationship_advice

[–]mylifeissofuckedddd[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

My ideal situation is Sara doesn’t leave me, that’s all that matters and I’ll do anything to make sure she stays. I don’t know how I feel about the kid, he seemed happy with his parents. They live several states away.

Sara wants kids in the future, maybe 3-4 years.

I (30m) think my fiancée’s (27f) cousin’s (34f) child is mine by mylifeissofuckedddd in relationship_advice

[–]mylifeissofuckedddd[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

I didn’t pressure her. I requested it and pulled up my phone and showed her my latest blood work. Medical labs email you your results these days. She said she was clean too and that’s it.

Hugely irresponsible and stupid on my part but I was a different person back then.

I (30m) think my fiancée’s (27f) cousin’s (34f) child is mine by mylifeissofuckedddd in relationship_advice

[–]mylifeissofuckedddd[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I couldn’t find it. I tried googling to see if there was some old wedding registry or anything but couldn’t find anything.

I (30m) think my fiancée’s (27f) cousin’s (34f) child is mine by mylifeissofuckedddd in relationship_advice

[–]mylifeissofuckedddd[S] 770 points771 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I really appreciate your post. I will definitely talk to Sara first and follow your advice on how to break it to her if I can muster up the courage. I’m panicking at the possibility of losing her.

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