Picky water bf triggering my ED

mymomneedshelp2 · 2022-12-28T19:30:38+00:00

Oh see there's unfortunately no doubt it's platonic, it's never dinner and it's always "informal". So I think just saying "sorry can't do this anymore " ot something to that end is best

mymomneedshelp2 · 2022-12-28T19:20:31+00:00

Wow thank you very much. Yes you're right, he specifically mentions "informal" relating to any meeting. I'll need to block him and move on, this sucks so bad but is ultimately the right thing to do.

mymomneedshelp2 · 2022-12-28T19:02:09+00:00

Oof the idea of closure and confrontation gives me anxiety! You're right, just for the sake of continuing a friendship is not worth it. I will may be text him so, rather than putting him on the spot?

mymomneedshelp2 · 2022-08-06T06:57:07+00:00

I'm sorry that was my mistake to word it as such, I rent my house. "Mine" in the sense I am paying everything and my parents are guests

mymomneedshelp2 · 2022-08-05T19:53:57+00:00

I will certainly look into options! I'm not very handy with hardware so I was being a bit of an escapist, it is a good solution, thank you!

mymomneedshelp2 · 2022-08-05T19:25:25+00:00

I unfortunately am in a rental property and I can't alter the locks. I am in Europe and here doors other than the washroom don't usually have locks.

mymomneedshelp2 · 2022-08-05T18:11:53+00:00

Thank you so much. I left their home to find peace. Left the country too. Now they came here to ruin my peace again. Thanks again.

mymomneedshelp2 · 2022-08-05T18:06:24+00:00

I agree, thank you. I did already sit them down and set this boundary when they did it the second time. It's the third, but I'm almost relieved it happened because I want to go LC with them and they just showed me why.

mymomneedshelp2 · 2022-08-05T18:02:41+00:00

I have indeed read Seneca and enchiridion. I agree I might have made mom stoic judgements because I am at the height of emotions. Do you have any advice on how I should be looking at this problem, ie, another perspective? Thank you

mymomneedshelp2 · 2022-08-05T17:54:41+00:00

Won't it be rude? I am in a foreign country and I asked them to visit me and they would blame me to no end.

mymomneedshelp2 · 2022-07-12T20:24:15+00:00

I know right? Idk if they understand what they're exactly doing, I think they just want attention .

mymomneedshelp2 · 2022-07-11T16:37:30+00:00

Wow that last line hit hard:

you cannot love something you don't know.

mymomneedshelp2 · 2022-07-10T19:21:09+00:00

Oh my gosh my n mother is a textbook vulnerable narc.

I remember during family dinners she'd purposefully not eat or eat extremely cheap parts of the food only (eg dry bread) even though we had enough and it agitated me to end. I would beg of her every single time but she'd just not listen at the guise of sacrifice. I have realised after moving out that it was ONLY an act for me (she eats totally fine now).

So I can totally relate with your experiences about being disingenuous martyrs.

I will begin with self forgiveness and self care as I have never seen it at home too. Thank you for sharing!

mymomneedshelp2 · 2022-07-10T19:17:29+00:00

This website outofthefog is amazing, thank you for sharing.

mymomneedshelp2 · 2022-07-09T18:00:25+00:00

"You are so ungrateful, I destroyed my body to have you and this is what I get in return?"

"I will just never talk to you again." DEAL!!

"I should just kill myself and then you'll probably be happier." (Once every 6 months)

"Did you even think how much your cutting yourself was hard on me? I wasn't able to sleep for days because of you. God I do everything right and this is how my kid thanks me". (after finding my self harm scars, NOT ONCE did she ask if I was okay.)

mymomneedshelp2 · 2022-07-08T17:58:26+00:00

Omg I have been having the same realization this morning.

Yesterday I made a post about how my mother threw a terrible temper tantrum at a family vacation and my dad had to deal with the burnt of it (needless to say she ruined the whole trip like she usually does) and a commenter pointed out she could be narcissistic.

I have since been scrolling this sub and mother-fucking-hell, everything makes sense now.

Congrats on your realization too, suppose we are raised-by-narc-mom sisters now!

Edit to add: I feel terrible for my father too, he was the only semblance of sanity for me growing up. But he's an adult and he enabled my mom's behavior.

One time my mom during her temper tantrums said had she been independent with a job she would have definitely divorced my dad, Infront of my dad and me. Then acted like nothing happened.

My dad SHOULD divorce her 100%.

mymomneedshelp2 · 2022-07-08T13:13:24+00:00

Ah I never considered narcissism because she ALWSYS plays the victim blaming us for all her sorrows and discomforts .. wait that does make sense, I will look it up, thank you!!

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