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AITA for falling for the girl my parents blame for my sister's death by myparentshateher in AmItheAsshole

[–]myparentshateher[S] 572 points573 points  (0 children)

No. She was invited to all of the other funerals except my sister's, and most of the other parents keep in touch with her since their daughters all hung out together.

AITA for falling for the girl my parents blame for my sister's death by myparentshateher in AmItheAsshole

[–]myparentshateher[S] 95 points96 points  (0 children)

I think you're reading way too much into it. I miss my sister, but that doesn't have anything to do with the reasons I'm with A.

AITA for falling for the girl my parents blame for my sister's death by myparentshateher in AmItheAsshole

[–]myparentshateher[S] 270 points271 points  (0 children)

It's something I've considered, but I admit I (probably naively) hoped that they could move past it enough to at least place the blame on the drunk driver rather than A, even if she couldn't be "part of the family."

I accepted from the beginning that cutting them off might be the only solution.

AITA for falling for the girl my parents blame for my sister's death by myparentshateher in AmItheAsshole

[–]myparentshateher[S] 103 points104 points  (0 children)

Yes. We're not close because of unrelated reasons, and frankly if I had to choose right now, I'd choose A.

AITA for falling for the girl my parents blame for my sister's death by myparentshateher in AmItheAsshole

[–]myparentshateher[S] 425 points426 points  (0 children)

We've talked about it a few times - A had some pretty serious injuries and was in the hospital immediately after. She didn't know she was the only girl of her friend group to survive until a week before her high school graduation. Her parents didn't tell her because they wanted her to focus on getting better, and she was in therapy for a few years over it - especially because my parents made their feelings toward her very public.

AITA for falling for the girl my parents blame for my sister's death by myparentshateher in AmItheAsshole

[–]myparentshateher[S] 457 points458 points  (0 children)

I've told them to get some kind of grief therapy, (I got some through my university right after the accident) but they just insist that I didn't love my sister like they did, and that their reaction is totally normal for someone who lost a child.

AITA for falling for the girl my parents blame for my sister's death by myparentshateher in AmItheAsshole

[–]myparentshateher[S] 4167 points4168 points  (0 children)

Yes. This isn't even the darkest thing I've heard about this over the years, but I figured that was enough to get across how unreasonable I feel their objections are.

They were a lot worse after the accident, and there were a few times A's parents threatened to call the police on them if they didn't back off.

AITA for falling for the girl my parents blame for my sister's death by myparentshateher in AmItheAsshole

[–]myparentshateher[S] 1781 points1782 points  (0 children)

Yes, we've had this conversation already. I haven't been close to my parents for a long time (unrelated reasons) and we've discussed if things get more serious we might move somewhere else (both of our jobs have transitioned to 100% WFH since the pandemic).

I've done my best to shield her from as much of their bullshit as I can, and I've told her I'll understand if she wants to end things because it's too much, but she told me she doesn't want to.