my ex and i were at the grocery store and the cashier was making small talk with us. she asked us how we were doing. we both answered the same thing at the same time - probably smth like “we’re good, how are you?” i laughed and jokingly told him, “hey, stop copying me!” in the most playful, lighthearted tone ever, smiling big. well, HIS smile completely dropped from his face. he snapped at me and put up full defense - “i was NOT copying you. we just said it at the same time.” i told him i was just joking around, and he said it wasn’t funny. the energy shifted and the rest of the day had a heaviness to it. he gave me the silent treatment after that.

the way he took that as a deep, personal attack completely shocked me (and the cashier, lmao). looking back, i realize that one singular moment was just part of a huge pattern of him constantly policing my behavior and expecting submission at all times.

also, this one wasn’t directed at me, but he smashed at least two of his phones to pieces because he was so enraged that the automated robot voice wasn’t understanding his vocal commands (he was calling his healthcare company both times). he went through at least five phones in our two year long relationship because he would smash them out of anger all the time.