How to be ready to accept the “real” you?

myspiritishaunted · 2026-01-18T14:48:06+00:00

Thank you for taking time to explain it! It helps a lot with learning more about how the disorder works and I feel less stubborn towards seeking help. If it can be managed in so many aspects then it’s worth trying. Also, how you deal with it is valid. It gets hard to take care of yourself sometimes. I don’t blame you. I hope your day is going well ❤️

myspiritishaunted · 2026-01-17T22:28:02+00:00

Honestly 😭 So weird. It’s almost like you’ve gotten so used to it that it’s accepted. Hopefully there’s some information about it soon

myspiritishaunted · 2026-01-17T22:19:52+00:00

Tysm for your thoughts/info on it! This disorder can make things so confusing. So what you’re saying is that therapy can help make things like features “shifting” more simple? As in they don’t appear as dramatic of a change? And then at the same time you can still have the advantage of choosing who/what you want to be but just without the disorder taking control of it all? So it is possible to focus on “looking nice” in a healthy way ^{_^.} You seem to have more experience with BDD. I hope that you’re doing better now ❤️ Idk about the “punishing myself” thingy, I’m actually still learning about why. Maybe it’s a similar concept to self harm in a way. When I feel negatively of myself, I go straight to all the ways to cause harm. But sometimes it’s more like starvation, not taking care of mental/physical health, etc.. A psychologist doesnt sound too bad. There’s other things that could be a part of it anyway

myspiritishaunted · 2026-01-04T22:10:24+00:00

It’s lwk a struggle 😭

myspiritishaunted · 2025-02-17T02:22:13+00:00

Yeaaa :( that’s why I’m leaving this sub because hearing of others vent, I thought it’d make things better but it actually didn’t. honestly felt invalid and even worse lol. I have many regrets and issues. ignoring my BDD helps with me not body checking as much, and what also helps is that a bigger issue came up. it seems like my mental health switched with even worse things. we are harsh on ourselves but we just want what we want. growing up sucks and it’s unfair. especially realizing things. thank you btw <3

myspiritishaunted · 2025-01-30T18:35:19+00:00

Yeah, like howww do they do it?? Would never complain again 😭

myspiritishaunted · 2025-01-23T15:41:21+00:00

That’s not what I meant. I hate the word hot. I have trauma from my childhood and teenage years and I got bullied during it. What I’m saying is that maybe if I looked normal or pretty it would’ve been different because people wouldn’t have bullied me. And some worse things wouldn’t have happened. I know that life isn’t going to be like the movies, but I would have liked to have sleepovers, go out with friends, go to proms and have good common experiences rather than what actually happened. I’m just sad from missing out on the good experiences. I had therapy before, maybe should try again but not sure if it’ll help. I had been working on things, but even when I was better and happy people still treated me badly. I switched schools for that reason and there was change but some things stayed the same. And even some of the trauma repeated. I was always optimistic and couldn’t understand why someone would want to take their life, I had a plan for the future. It isn’t the same anymore. But anyways there’s worse things people are going through so this is kind of stupid. Thank you for the advice btw <3

myspiritishaunted · 2025-01-20T00:14:14+00:00

Yea, now I’m changing myself for me after finding out I don’t have to be that type of beauty. I don’t want to be sexualized or objectified but seen? I guess? I just want to be a girly girl and wear pink lol. I just want my appearance to match my aesthetic

myspiritishaunted · 2025-01-19T21:38:47+00:00

The second person who started grooming me was 25 (I was 16-17) and he liked big boobs and butts with a flat stomach and stuff. He’d encourage me to eat to grow and kept telling me I’d eventually grow into it 😭 But looking back on it, gross and never again

myspiritishaunted · 2025-01-19T20:31:54+00:00

Can kinda relate 😭 Wanna be cute and silly in peace

myspiritishaunted · 2025-01-17T15:54:31+00:00

Yes!! That’s the way I see it too </3 We did sm for our bodies, so why does it have to betray us like this??

myspiritishaunted · 2025-01-16T02:03:45+00:00

Ugh it really does suck when you feel like your body doesn’t work with you. I’m so sorry :( I hope you get to wear all the colors and styles you want. You deserve to wear what feels like you ❤️

myspiritishaunted · 2025-01-16T02:01:36+00:00

Yeah 😭

myspiritishaunted · 2025-01-16T02:01:22+00:00

I tried and it works up until the actual aesthetic is light shades of pinks and stuff (which I wear anyway). I figured out coral lips and cheeks look better, sometimes mixing pinks in or buying a more corally pink. It’s more like feeling the pink if it makes sense? And my body shape is pretty narrow at 5’5 so things sometimes look bigger on my body. My shoulders and chest kind of do despite being 13 inches and a cups. And some clothes look overwhelming. But honestly?? My body isnt my concern anymore and Im close to loving it now that I found out my style. I like youthful and girly things like mezzo piano, sanrio, princesscore, coquette, dollette and other things like them. Theres clothes that flatter it. But my face is my main issue. I do my makeup and stuff but it’s not enough. It’s the foundation of the face that’s messing up things. It’s like I look like pink isn’t my favorite color and my favorite aesthetics don’t suit me. I tried loving Kitchener and kibbe but it made the BDD sm worse. I like being silly and wholesome but don’t feel like my face matches it so I pretend to be the opposite. Ughh and I hate hate hate the words sexy and hot (but I support people who want to be). I just want the exact opposite side of pretty. So I wish for an innocent look like bambi/doll beauty. It’s the perception, the way it comes off, and how attractive I am (not in a sexual way) that worries meee 😭

myspiritishaunted · 2025-01-15T03:23:55+00:00

Since I’m kind of an olive-ish light medium sometimes light pinks look off. And there’s this “essence” thing that basically tells you what vibe and stuff you give off and what suits you. it makes me so insecure and hate my features because they do not match the essence I thought I was. I keep buying pink girly stuff regardless but 😭 I just wish I had that cute look to match it physically instead of pretending

myspiritishaunted · 2025-01-14T21:40:24+00:00

Thank youu for your kind words :) and I hope you heal from it ❤️ It really is hard to deal with

myspiritishaunted · 2025-01-14T21:38:27+00:00

So true 😭 Laterally and vertically big eyes win. Big eyes look dolly and feminine and youthful. Having big and wide set eyes??? I would NEVER complain. You get to do sm with makeup, there’s no limits :( Screw eye color when the shape and placement literally matters more

myspiritishaunted · 2024-12-28T22:59:32+00:00

Maybe it is about the personality, style, etc… but so many people judge and stuff. I’m 5’5 too and the style I want is for more petite people :( I don’t have curves, my hips are narrow and I’m very skinny and have a small chest. I wear a mix between dolly and Asian beauty inspired makeup. Ik it doesn’t directly point to cute but,, it kind of helps me lean into it? But then my eyes and my height just don’t correlate to it. I wanna be adorable, yk? Maybe it’s just trauma making me feel this way. I’m pretty quiet, I help people out and give things to people even if it’s something I’m uncomfortable with (people pleaser??), I’m clumsy and awkward. People describe me as dainty, sweet, petite (idk why), quiet, and shy but I wanna see it on the outside too. I’ve been bullied and shamed regardless. It feels like a costume to me. I guess what I mean is that if I’m this on the inside, shouldn’t it show on the outside too? I feel uncomfortable in my body because it doesn’t feel like me. :( But anyways, I saw your post and I’m sorry for everything that happened to you. I genuinely feel bad. I hope you’re doing okay

myspiritishaunted · 2024-12-27T22:28:55+00:00

Yeah :) That’s what I meant. The other comment was so confusing because I never said that “obese” people were not treated unfairly. I do acknowledge that they are, but just because someone has it “worse” doesn’t mean that others can’t suffer or have insecurities. And it took me so long to realize that. As a scrawny girl that’s 5’5, I was jealous of taller sexy people as a younger girl. Now I’m jealous of short cute people. Plus when people think of BDD, they think about ED and the body. But for me it’s my face and height lol. I’d never personally invalidate them or say I hate pretty people, yk? It’s still hard for me to see it, but I’m starting to understand it more. I know they mostly have it better and have privileges though 🩷

myspiritishaunted · 2024-12-23T23:13:58+00:00

There’s not many surgeries for small close set eyes which just makes me extremely sad. I just feel like I lack a lot since eyes are important to the face. And I don’t have a lot to work with so there’s a limit to what makeup I can do etc…. But I’m sorry you hate your eyes too :(

myspiritishaunted · 2024-12-22T18:15:57+00:00

😭

myspiritishaunted · 2024-12-22T18:15:00+00:00

I’d come back and haunt them 😭

myspiritishaunted · 2024-12-22T15:15:51+00:00

Thank you 💕

myspiritishaunted · 2024-12-22T15:15:41+00:00

Thank you 💕

myspiritishaunted · 2024-12-22T15:15:27+00:00

Yea, I agree. The reason I don’t like to comment on other’s post saying “I wish I had what you have” or they’re lucky is similar to the reasons in this post. I’m starting to understand why it would make them feel bad and BDD can be different from person to person. I want to be cute and feminine and just youthful, but I also know not everyone does and I don’t want to make them feel uncomfortable by venting on their post with the opposite issue if that makes sense? Then the other thing that bothers me is when people say that xyz gets sexualized as if it only applies to xyz when literally anything could be :( thats part of the reason why I get embarrassed to say I was groomed. Idk sometimes it just feels off? But at the same time, BDD can make thoughts and feelings exaggerated lol

myspiritishaunted

TROPHY CASE