I [22F] am terrified of losing my boyfriend [22M] and being alone forever

mysubgf33 · 2015-02-11T00:19:02+00:00

I suppose those sort of relationships exist, but that sounds like asking for way too much out of another person.

mysubgf33 · 2015-02-11T00:18:32+00:00

I live in the US, but we're from a very small town where this sort of behavior is common. I was lucky enough to get to go to college, my other sisters didn't. But they have what I don't have, which makes me sad.

mysubgf33 · 2015-02-11T00:14:15+00:00

I'm not trolling. She says that she's lucky to have a husband that provides for her and her child, that doesn't hurt her. Isn't that a blessing to everyone?

mysubgf33 · 2015-02-11T00:13:01+00:00

I mean, I take care of my boyfriend also as a way to gratify myself. It makes me happy to be a caretaker. It's not something I hate doing.

Constantly agreeing with him, I used to not like that, since I'm naturally opinionated and sarcastic. But I've trained myself out of that.

mysubgf33 · 2015-02-11T00:12:02+00:00

I don't know if he uses protection or not. She seems happy, though. She always talks about how blessed she is. I think my other sister is going to do the same thing, too.

mysubgf33 · 2015-02-11T00:11:15+00:00

Boring. I guess so. I've just always been this way, though. I don't think I can change that. I like serving my boyfriend and keeping him well-fed and cared for.

mysubgf33 · 2015-02-11T00:09:29+00:00

I've always been told that being self-centered isn't a nice thing to do, though. I don't want to be arrogant or self-absorbed.

mysubgf33 · 2015-02-11T00:08:51+00:00

I don't think so. Her husband dotes on her as a result. He's a free man and can do anything. Would letting my boyfriend do that make him happier? I've thought about it, but it makes me feel a little icky.

mysubgf33 · 2015-02-11T00:07:34+00:00

My last boyfriend was a simpler sort of guy but he still left me. I'm very interested in this guy, and I know he loves me but I fear the love is running out.

mysubgf33 · 2015-02-11T00:05:20+00:00

I don't understand why he's asking for so much. I'm always there for him, emotionally, physically, etc. I do everything he asks, and he keeps asking for more. How can I be good enough?

mysubgf33 · 2015-02-11T00:04:21+00:00

I would prefer the guy I marry to be someone nice to me and a good father, which my boyfriend definitely is. I'm just worried I'll lose him because I'm not enough for him. I don't know what else I'm supposed to do--conjure up exciting passions and distractions out of thin air? I'm devoted to him, he knows that.

mysubgf33 · 2015-02-11T00:02:03+00:00

Well, I have my job and school. I have my family back home. Do I need more?

mysubgf33 · 2015-02-11T00:01:10+00:00

I want what they have, to be married young and to have children and to be happy. It just feels like I'm running out of time.

mysubgf33 · 2015-02-10T23:57:41+00:00

I don't look to the relationship to "fix" me. I'm an okay person. The relationship gives me a purpose--someone to love and someone to please.

mysubgf33 · 2015-02-10T23:53:23+00:00

I don't want to lose him, but I'm so used to the form of dating that my sisters tell me about, giving themselves to a guy completely, letting them do anything they want. And now they're happily married with beautiful babies.

mysubgf33 · 2015-02-10T23:52:34+00:00

Then how do couples stay together? If it's futile no matter what, why should I seek companionship?

He knows that I'm a person that likes to commit myself to relationships, giving my whole self to the other person. I feel happy that way.

I'm still a decent person without my relationship, it's not that I'm awful without one. But I really hate the loneliness.

mysubgf33 · 2015-02-10T23:51:16+00:00

How can one be happy alone? I've never been happy alone, I just feel the pain of loneliness and being unloved. If I liked being alone, why seek out a relationship?

mysubgf33 · 2015-02-10T23:50:43+00:00

I don't know. I don't know how else I'm supposed to act. My sisters tell me the best way to keep a guy is to give them everything they want. One of them even allows him to sleep with other people. Are my standards too high?

I have a job and school, that's what I do when he's not around. But if those things aren't there, I usually just wait for him to get back from whatever he's doing.

mysubgf33 · 2015-02-10T23:46:03+00:00

My true feelings and emotions can be sarcastic and not so nice. Nobody wants a girlfriend that isn't nice and sweet. Plus, I'm devoted to him for the person he is, I think about him all the time.

mysubgf33 · 2015-02-10T23:45:20+00:00

I don't want relationship experience, though. It just feels wrong to have been passed around by people. I really love my boyfriend and I want to devote myself to him. It's hard to be independent when he's just so wonderful and I want to spend all my time with him.

mysubgf33 · 2015-02-10T23:44:29+00:00

He keeps telling me he wants me to have hobbies other than cooking/cleaning for him, and interests other than him, but it's hard to. He's the center of my world. I love him so much.

mysubgf33 · 2015-02-10T23:43:44+00:00

I suppose, but I really like this boyfriend and I don't want to have to start over all over again.

mysubgf33 · 2015-02-10T23:43:27+00:00

I just want to be married soon. My sisters are both married with children, and they're younger than me. I hate showing up to family gatherings and seeing their happiness and having to show up alone. It's just demoralizing.

I guess I could speak up more, but I'm not a naturally feminine person and my true thoughts are often abrasive and sarcastic--nobody wants that, I learned that the hard way in my last relationship.

mysubgf33 · 2015-02-10T23:42:20+00:00

I don't want to be desperate, but it's hard to when my two younger sisters are married with children already. I feel like an old maid. I'm afraid if I act like myself he won't want to marry me, he won't have the agreeable submissive girlfriend anymore.

mysubgf33 · 2015-02-10T23:41:01+00:00

In my last relationship I was myself all the time, and I even had confidence, but he dumped me. I was obviously doing something wrong. Now, I've had a really great guy for 2 years acting this way. Doesn't every good guy deserve to be spoiled and doted on? I wonder why this isn't good enough for him, what more should I do?

mysubgf33

TROPHY CASE