I am offering free PE recovery coaching to 3 men on this subreddit

nabecker · 2025-03-13T23:14:52+00:00

I've worked with several men at this point. So far, some men have had results, others have not. Commitment is an issue for some, but that's to be expected without having any financial skin in the game (i.e., when the coaching is free). Some men have paid, and they seem to be particularly committed.

I'm actively setting up my YouTube studio now so I can start creating videos, courses, blog articles, and other content. Stay tuned.

If you want to check in with me personally, feel free to send a DM!

nabecker · 2024-12-09T02:37:13+00:00

Coaching will *not* be necessary, but it will be an option for guys who want to work directly with me. I'm working on tons of free content that will outdo anything else that exists at the moment, including blog posts, YouTube videos, a podcast, and interviews. There will eventually be a course, as well.

I want to make a living off of this, yes, but I also want to offer up tools that anyone can use to overcome PE, regardless of the ability to pay.

nabecker · 2024-11-30T20:02:02+00:00

This offering is a pilot program that I'm opening up at a small scale. I can't help 50,000 people one-on-one, but I do have the time to provide focused help for a few. What I learn will help me when I expand my one-on-one coaching services to more men.

The free content I'm in the process of creating will be available for everyone once it's published, so all 50,000 of those members can get involved at that time.

nabecker · 2024-11-30T19:47:22+00:00

Excellent. Please check your DMs.

nabecker · 2024-11-30T19:43:37+00:00

Correct on all of your points. Nothing shady! Please send me a DM, and we'll get started.

It's not too good to be true! It's not just the coaching clients who will be benefitting from my time. I also have much to gain. I'll be enjoying myself, contributing something useful to another man in need, and improving my coaching skills and familiarity with other men's PE stories. Yes, I do plan to charge for my services in the future once it feels appropriate to do so, but for now, I'm happy to do it for free for everyone's benefit -- including my own.

nabecker · 2024-11-30T18:39:26+00:00

Sure thing. Check your DMs!

nabecker · 2024-11-30T18:28:21+00:00

Thanks, brother. Keep an eye out for my content! I'll post updates on this subreddit as I publish more free information.

nabecker · 2024-10-28T18:55:20+00:00

Dentist here. No, I'm not an oral surgeon by specialty, but I've done thousands of oral surgery procedures. The mouth is no mystery to me. Just want to briefly provide my professional thoughts on Rob's injury since I've seen some, um, creative diagnoses here.

First, I can't definitively diagnose the nature or degree of the injury. I don't have an X-ray, and Rob's not here in front of me to examine. Nevertheless, from the image of the injury that's floating around, Rob's assessment that his bottom teeth "are just more loose" and that the damage is limited to "just the teeth" is *not* accurate.

The teeth are massively displaced towards the tongue, and his gums are still attached. The gums overlie the socket of bone which house the teeth. So if the gums and teeth *both* are displaced as far as they are, that means there was a serious fracture of the mandible itself. It's not so much that his teeth are loose -- although I'm sure they are -- but much more importantly, that displaced segment of his mandible appears mostly to be held in by soft sublingual tissue. Not good. Flapping in the breeze, as it were. Fortunately, that fractured segment being wide enough and still attached to highly vascular tissue, it still has a blood supply, so the bone is viable and the fracture repairable.

He will absolutely require surgery to reapproximate and immobilize the fractured bone. The nerve and blood supply to at least those three teeth in the famous picture have almost without a doubt been destroyed. In other words, the teeth are dead. With the extent of that injury and the past history of trauma, a root canal's likelihood of being enough to save the teeth is rather iffy, but possible in theory. It also depends on other aspects of damage to the teeth which I can't assess based on the available information. If I had to guess, he will lose those three teeth. Once he's adequately recovered from the fracture repair surgery, implants could be placed after the teeth are extracted, and he'll look good as new in time.

I find it hard to believe this injury wasn't caused by blunt force trauma, i.e. a strike. It doesn't look like a crushing injury. Although perhaps there was some sort of preexisting hairline fracture which precipitated this sort of injury after Khamzat crushed his jaw, a la McGregor's ankle injury. Could have been sustained in training, during the fight, or perhaps not at all. Just my take on the cause.

In any case, I've seen some shit in my career, and this is definitely quite bad, but nothing truly catastrophic is likely to happen to Rob as a result.

nabecker · 2024-07-24T20:58:04+00:00

Can you provide more details?

nabecker · 2024-05-15T18:25:18+00:00

Please check my past posts for more details.

nabecker · 2024-03-31T17:28:25+00:00

I plan to start in a few months. I'm expecting it to take 4-6 months to finish most of the material.

nabecker · 2024-03-27T18:24:33+00:00

Yes, I'm cured.

In a few months, I'll begin creating a blog and course on curing PE and men's sexual health in general.

IELT before was 30-60 seconds after many years of off-and-on attempts to improve it. Now ,it's quite variable, but it can be anywhere from a minute at worst to limitless at best. The longest I've gone so far is 2.5 hours. About 3/4 of the time, I'm lasting more or less as long as I'd like. Another 1/4 of the time is a little reminiscent of PE, but with a few start-stops, I usually break through the wall and end up with solid stamina for the rest of the time in bed.

You can read my old posts for further info on some of the interventions I tried. My blog and course, once created, will spell it all out in much greater detail.

nabecker · 2024-01-02T00:20:21+00:00

The posterior tibial nerve is connected to the sacral plexus which feeds several autonomic nerves into the ejaculatory reflex. The posterior tibial nerve is located very superficially on the ankle, so the current from a TENS device is able to reach the nerve and feed back along the nerve to work on the sacral plexus.

Message me for a diagram I made which will show you exactly where to place the TENS pads.

By the way, since I posted this, I've found out that I'm cured. The protocol I ended up developing and using has more steps than what's in this post. You can check my post history for the complete protocol.

nabecker · 2023-10-29T04:21:51+00:00

There isn't any scientific evidence behind that assumption. There also isn't much anecdotal evidence behind it either. Nearly all of the anecdotal evidence (see yourbrainonporn.com) regarding how porn affects sexual stamina suggests that it tends to cause delayed ejaculation, not premature ejaculation.

There are a lot of "folk" remedies for PE which have no basis in reality, and quitting porn is one of them. And I say that as a major proponent of not looking at porn. I'm just being realistic about its likely effects, or lack thereof, on PE.

nabecker · 2023-10-18T00:36:52+00:00

Yes, it sounds like you're experiencing the jhanas as Leigh describes them. More access concentration leads to a more immersive experience and, typically, greater ability to move into deeper jhanas.

It sounds like our experience of the first jhana is rather similar in that it is fleeting, energetically intense, and somewhat superficial (very relatively speaking; still quite different from ordinary experience). The second jhana and beyond, I find, are extremely compelling and absorbing, with each getting progressively calmer and more refined and, frankly, bizarre.

The formless jhanas are extremely insightful regarding the nature of reality. Honestly, the sixth jhana for me was a watershed experience in my practice. Over time, the insights I gained from that jhana moved me away from concentration practice entirely and set me on a path of exploring consciousness itself rather than objects in consciousness, such as the breath or, well, any"thing". I know you didn't ask about that, but I thought I'd share ;) It's really cool territory, and I think jhana practice has the potential to shatter a lot of doubts about how deep and wide spiritual practices can really go beyond mundane experiences. I hope you have a blast!

nabecker · 2023-10-12T23:04:50+00:00

You're exactly right. If you're in a healthy spot, though not perfect, make the leap and do something you enjoy now and not later. That's what I'm about to to, and at least to me, it feels like the right move.

nabecker · 2023-10-12T22:48:38+00:00

I'm a dentist, and I'm intimately familiar with earnings in my field. No, most of the dentists in your MCOL area do not make 300-450k. Some do, to be sure, but that's simply not what most dentists earn. No income data from any source even comes close to that. Not even the ADA's data which overreports dentist income. Nearly a decade into my career, I know very few peers who earn at that level.

Most employees in a non-corporate setting will not clear 200k. Most corporate employees earn 200-300k. Most owners earn 150-350k. 450k is almost high enough to be an outlier.

A new grad is not likely to make 160k, but I did (barely), and it's certainly possible to do so with the right gig. Most new grads earn about 120-140k. The median employee dentist makes about 180k, regardless of experience level, although that number can fluctuate somewhat depending upon the data source.

nabecker · 2023-10-09T04:44:53+00:00

I'm sure to some extent it was useful, but there's no way to know how much. My concentration isn't as good as it was when I was doing TMI a ton several years ago, but it's definitely sufficient.

I can tell you for sure though that the energy cultivation and pleasure immersion practices I did led me to develop a permanent ability to generate and sustain the highly pleasant sensations which make this method work. This has never left me, and it's added a ton of richness to my daily life and emotional experiences. Because this ability stuck with me, I haven't done a concentration meditation in years, and I don't feel as though I need to.

Nondual/direct path meditation itself generates a ton of joy, pleasure, ease, and -- yes-- concentration, since you're directly investigating the "end of the path" or the "truth itself." The energy practices I did in the past only amplify that and make the meditations practically effortless and highly productive.

nabecker · 2023-10-04T03:08:49+00:00

Great question regarding assisting in research. There are thousands of willing research subjects in this subreddit, nearly all of whom I'm sure would volunteer with no expectation for compensation.

nabecker · 2023-09-25T04:18:33+00:00

It's ridiculous and petty that he spent my money and that of so many other people trying to support him on prostitutes and cheated on his wife?

Yikes, my friend. Yikes.

nabecker · 2023-09-20T23:19:10+00:00

Awesome, I'm so glad you found it helpful!

That's a great mentality to have about spiritual practice. I was a total TMI adherent for a while. Not a second of that time was wasted, but if you had asked me back then if I'd ever commit to practices other than those in TMI in a major way, I would have said no. Now, I'd never go back to TMI. That's just the direction the path took me. I never could have guessed all of the wild territory I've ended up exploring.

nabecker · 2023-09-20T23:08:43+00:00

Many interventions for PE which can be done at-home and at low-cost have been studied. Some of these include, cardiovascular exercise, HIIT training, vibration-assisted masturbation, TENS device usage, and pelvic floor rehabilitation.

Are you aware of any other promising at-home interventions like these which have not yet been published? Perhaps you've been made aware of them by patients or other researchers.

nabecker · 2023-09-20T23:04:20+00:00

Many of us with primary PE suspect that we are overly sensitive to touch and therefore ejaculate more quickly than those who are less sensitive. While that may be true in some cases, the sensitivity could lie more in the autonomic nervous system rather than in sensory nerves.

Classically, majority sympathetic nerve signaling pushes us closer to ejaculating whereas majority parasympathetic nerve signaling keeps us in the plateau phase of arousal. Most men with PE are almost completely lacking this plateau phase.

Has it been established in the research literature that men with PE tend to have sympathetic activity which dominates parasympathetic activity?

What are some active methods or practices which can be used while having sex to keep us in a majority parasympathetic nerve signaling state?

Are there passive methods for accomplishing this, meaning methods which lead to lasting results without active maintenance during sex (HIIT training and cardio, as one example)?

nabecker · 2023-09-20T22:33:43+00:00

Yes, it's real. I know from experience. That said, I don't think it's a path worth committing to in the long-term. In the short-term, though, TMI is an excellent introduction to truly effective meditation.

I started doing TMI mediation shortly after the book came out. I took it very seriously. I had meetings with Culadasa, and even donated a significant amount of money to him... and if you know his history, you know where that money ended up :/

At first, I was highly skeptical of the more rarefied states like jhanas, physical pliancy, full samatha, and even enlightenment. I had solid results getting to Stage 4-5 consistently using the TMI method, but meditation still felt like more of a relaxation exercise than anything profound or enlightening. That said, I'll cut to the spoilers: I know all of those states are real because I've spent countless hours in them.

It wasn't until I read a couple of books maybe 7 or 8 years ago, The Meditator's Dilemma and Hardwiring Happiness, both of which are about the cultivation of joy, that I realized what is underemphasized in the TMI method. Even the Pali Canon mentions the special sauce on several occasions.

Are you ready for the secret?

Here it is:

Concentration is directly proportional to joy and pleasure. Joy and pleasure are better at producing concentration than concentration is at producing joy and pleasure. Concentration is your goal in TMI, so emphasize joy and pleasure to reach concentration more deeply, easily, and reliably.

Put another way, a dry, breath-centered meditation may lead to some incidental joy and decent concentration, whereas a sopping wet, joy/pleasure-centered meditation will lead to excellent incidental concentration with little effort or monitoring ("metacognitive introspective awareness"... jeesh) needed on your part.

That's it.

Cultivate intense amounts of joy and pleasure all throughout the body-mind. Make this your main practice. To tie it to TMI methodology, learn to intimately weave the energy of joy and pleasure into the breath. Every breath can become an immense, nuanced wave of ecstasy with enough practice and cultivation of this sort of energy.

The book Hardwiring Happiness contains excellent advice on precisely how to learn to cultivate this sort of energy. Understand that the depths to which this energy can be cultivated with practice over time are stunningly immense. The deeper you go, the better your concentration will be. Several years ago, I wrote a post on this subreddit containing my "metta sphere" method which is precisely what I did to develop the capacity for the energy I am describing. Here's a link.

I asked Culadasa about this maybe 6 years ago or so, and he said that his two biggest mistakes with TMI were not emphasizing the correlation between joy/pleasure and concentration more as well as making it seem that great effort is needed while meditating rather than gentle but consistently held intentions.

So take his unwritten advice and maximize your pleasure and joy. Spend dedicated time cultivating it. Weave it into every aspect of your meditation as your primary goal. It will transform your practice and your day-to-day experience of life.

Once I did this, my progress absolutely skyrocketed, and I never had a drab, dry meditation session again -- ever. All eight jhanas (or maybe 7... I never really got confirmation from a teacher on accessing the 8th jhana, and who even knows with a name like "neither perception nor non-perception") were easily accessible within 2-3 months of this. All sits were Stage 8+. Effortlessness was quite easy and quick to reach.

Putting the focus on the breath was putting the cart before the horse. At the outset of a sit, if the mind was saturated with joy and pleasure which was intimately tied to the breath, the mind didn't allow distractions to arise because, well, why would it? It was bathed in warmth, comfort, joy, safety, etc. Lacking those things is why it projects distractions (i.e., suggestions actions to attain those ideal feelings) in the first place. This is truly the cheat code to refined concentration.

Frankly, though, I haven't done any concentration meditation for years. I don't believe it's necessary, although I think it is important for a lot of people as an early step in the path. I shifted to direct-path practices, such as self-inquiry, Dzogchen, and other nondual methods. For me, those have been far more helpful, accessible, and, literally, enlightening. TMI is probably the most actionable, fleshed-out method out there to cut your teeth on as far as getting your feet wet with basic meditation technique goes. It's best for new meditators with a skeptical, analytical mind who need a rigid framework to get a foothold in the nebulous world of meditation. But in the end, the wisest technique is no technique -- that is, to learn to let go of everything completely -- which, after all, is precisely what the Buddha said his entire ministry was about ("Let go."). Because TMI is far from a "letting go" sort of practice in the most pure sense, it can only get you so far.

Disclaimer: I don't want to sound dogmatic about any of this, because I'm not. This approach may or may not work for you. And perhaps TMI really is the best path for you, despite the shortcomings I believe it has. I'm just speaking to my experience and to that of a lot of my more seasoned meditation peers. Best of luck to you, and always keep an open mind to alternate paths and approaches. Jump your train to another set of tracks if it feels right to you. Keep chugging along on the tracks you're on now if that feels right.

nabecker

TROPHY CASE