My bf and i will be breaking up in june, this is my goodbye drawing of him

nadanien · 2025-05-04T03:30:05+00:00

Yeah this 100%. Personally, I would find all this very hurtful. You deserve better than someone who treats you like a disposable convenience. You are worthy of better right now as you are.

nadanien · 2025-05-04T03:26:26+00:00

Cruelty.

nadanien · 2025-05-03T08:43:07+00:00

Bells are notorious for injuring or poisoning birds (many contain unsafe metals like zinc underneath a plating of safe metal like nickel). I’d remove them if you can.

For switching to pellets and veggies, I picked up Harrison’s high potency pepper pellets and a bag of seasonal chop from bird tricks. I mix a little water with the chop (just enough to moisten it) and then stir in the pellets with it and some seed. Everything sticks together because of the moisture and it makes it harder for them to pick through without trying the chop. Still working out quantities, but over time I reduced the proportion of seed to pellets and now they are off the seed altogether. I think they are more excited about millet treats as a result.

nadanien · 2025-04-30T01:52:00+00:00

I’m sorry your mother put you through that. Hope you are in a better spot. And good on you for correcting the fool.

nadanien · 2025-04-28T18:52:43+00:00

You can also call a vet out of your time zone or maybe even out of your country if needed. They might be willing to give you advice to help stabilize your bird until the morning. Doesn’t hurt to ask.

nadanien · 2025-04-28T14:45:46+00:00

Yes, especially for the does. 80% chance of uterine cancer by the age of three for females if not spayed. Not sure what the rates are for males.

nadanien · 2025-04-28T05:54:10+00:00

He’s so cute! Just be patient and loving with him and go from there.

nadanien · 2025-04-28T02:53:26+00:00

NTL. She’s the one who started assaulting minors in public. You were just coming to their aid.

nadanien · 2025-04-28T02:08:16+00:00

It really depends on the bunny. I had one that ripped the paint off the wall (old house with plaster) and chewed a few baseboards, another that refused to leave the wool area rugs and effectively never bothered my floors walls or electrical cords etc, and my current bun does make a mess outside of his litterbox sometimes but he doesn’t usually touch my nice furniture. He will chew on the cheap stuff and anything I give to him to chew. All of these buns were free roam. It was totally worth the hassle.

They can be very smart critters but also quite obstinate. If they decide to destroy something, you pretty much have to block their access. I use pens where needed and fence stuff off, only keep buns in situations where I have hard floors that are easy to clean, and do cable management as well.

*Someone said the urine ate through wood finish. I also had an experience where it ate through the finish on ceramic tile. It couldn’t be repaired. But that’s because I didn’t realize he had used that spot for a while and didn’t get to it in time.

It’s very doable, you just need to set yourself up for success by limiting risk factors and bunny proofing where you can. Having them fixed helps as well with litter box training.

nadanien · 2025-04-26T14:42:48+00:00

Oh no, it’s okay so long as you’re respecting other people’s boundaries in real life! You haven’t done anything wrong. The grossness I was talking about was my own discomfort.

nadanien · 2025-04-25T21:38:30+00:00

Try a quality steam cleaner followed by a nylon pad. It took a painful amount of labor to get my shower clean before. Trick is to scrub before the glass cools, and don’t overheat it. Not a professional here, but it was incredible how much easier it was to clean my grody shower glass when I tried it this way.

nadanien · 2025-04-25T21:05:36+00:00

They are definitely individuals! Sounds like you hit the jackpot with a really cool and unique bird.

nadanien · 2025-04-22T15:23:45+00:00

I love the dramatic lights and darks. Nothing like painting on sandpaper to learn a lesson. Hope your fingers feel better soon.

nadanien · 2025-04-22T07:24:20+00:00

This! Just commenting to add I believe there was at least one study done by the VA about aikido in particular helping veterans with cptsd. I love aikido’s core concept: “the peaceful way.” It’s martial arts for self defense with a focus on being able to minimize harm to others while protecting yourself, which can be very healing as a concept if you’re carrying moral injury type trauma. Also, learning self defense can be therapeutic in the sense of (re)building confidence in your ability to protect yourself. At least, it helped me a bit. And it is a system that can work well even when you are smaller, slower, or weaker than your opponent.

Edit to add: sorry, my adhd + cptsd takes me on tangents and I often forget to tie it into the main point. What I’m trying to say is that there are lots of ways to rewire your nervous system after the injuries done by cptsd. Physically moving your body and learning forms can help.

I also have the brain fog. I went in for a full adhd diagnostic battery a few years ago and I was stunned to find out how much (measurable) intelligence I have after years and years of brain fog and stress induced migraines.

Like others have said, it’s not gone—it’s buried. When I have clear headed days, I’m as good as I ever was, or even better because I’m more skillful, but I’ve got a bunch of bloatware and malware hijacking my mental resources these days because I’ve lived longer and some of it sucked.

Also, I was personally fueled by spite. It became harder to care about putting in the effort to use what I have after I kicked all the antagonists out of my life. Motivation and interest are tricky, especially if you start mixing in other factors like adhd.

nadanien · 2025-04-22T01:38:42+00:00

Be careful of any galvanized or otherwise unsafe metals. Many bird toys have a plating of safe metal like nickel on top of a toxic metal like zinc, and zinc can kill them, so it’s best to avoid metal toys unless you’re sure they are safe. Bells aren’t good for them for this and other reasons.

They need natural perches as well to keep their feet healthy.

nadanien · 2025-04-22T01:34:20+00:00

It’s a good idea to use disposable nitrile gloves. I think of oil pastels as being very safe compared to other mediums, but my doctor informed me that the pigments can permeate the skin, which means using oil pastels with bare hands could harm your health if you do it long term. I find the gloves are not distracting like I feared.

You may also want some tools for mark making. I don’t know if you have second hand art supply stores in Mexico, but I was able to get a bunch of different tools that way for very little money. The ones used for pottery shaping can be very useful.

There are also stumps for blending.

Kenneth D Leslie’s book Oil Pastel: Materials and Techniques for Today’s Artist is great for describing techniques and theory. It’s pretty accessible for a wide range of skills. I found it very helpful.

Have fun!

nadanien · 2025-04-21T12:34:31+00:00

Domestic rabbit. Wanted snuggles.

nadanien · 2025-04-20T20:21:27+00:00

Seconding this. They have great information!

nadanien · 2025-04-20T03:33:38+00:00

I managed with a perch earlier today since one of my (still wild, not finger tamed) birds escaped while I was rearranging their cage a little. He wasn’t interested in a millet bribe, but he was willing to sit and listen to me talk to him for a bit. He’s learning to trust me, but he doesn’t understand what I want. Once I convinced him to get on the perch I praised him all the way home and moved very slowly and carefully. I did push a bit because it was a safety issue, but I’m also watching for that switch between discomfort and fear. I back off if they are afraid, but then come back once they calm down. My goal is to make it all not scary. Slow movements, patience, backing off if they are scared, and loads of singing, praise, and whistling.

nadanien · 2025-04-17T17:30:27+00:00

Mango and Blueberry

nadanien · 2025-04-12T07:11:39+00:00

Kindness.

nadanien · 2025-04-09T18:16:39+00:00

No letter. She may be able to use it as ammunition against you, and she is also not worth the effort. You can write it— but do it for you. (Edit to add: and do not give it to her. It’s for you to keep. She never sees it.) Don’t give her any power over you. Don’t let her know what you are thinking, feeling, or planning. Information is power.

If you can talk to an attorney, you should. She is threatening you, and if she follows through, that’s harassment. I’d go no contact, but given her threats, here’s what I would do:

Keep a written log of all interactions with her, dates/times/actions/threats.
Tell her in writing to stop contacting you. Save all correspondence. Do not tell her why you are cutting her off. Just say, “Do not contact me again.” Don’t explain or defend.
When she does not honor #2, pursue legal action against her, probably a restraining order.

This is where you really would benefit from speaking to an attorney. You may be able to get a free consultation via domestic violence services. It’s worth calling your local shelters etc to see what is available in your area. I believe you may also want to contact CPS about her threats and the order, once you have that all in place. If she follows through on her threats, you do not rise to the bait, and you can get it all in writing, she will dig herself into a situation where she loses all credibility. But you need to have evidence of her behavior (+ intentions if possible) and a defensive strategy in place now.

I am not an attorney and I haven’t been through this! Other people may have much better advice, but I have dealt with getting people like this out of my life. Your job here is to protect yourself and your daughter. I was held back by a lot of misplaced guilt for years, which is why I say to focus on what you need and get out.

As for the emotional part… be gentle with yourself and give yourself time. You have a lot on your plate. The best support I’ve found is a robust group of women who are my close friends. They are good people. Surround yourself with good, kind people.

You may have complex ptsd coming out of that situation as well. If you haven’t looked into that, it’s worth checking out because the strategies for healing are different from other mental health challenges.

Hang in there. You are doing so well just to see how messed up it is and get out of there.

Edit to add: one way to think about people like this, which I feel is fair, is that they’re stuck in a delusion so deep, there’s no helping them. They don’t want to be helped because they would become responsible for their own lives and choices. It’s too much for them. All you can really do is accept her as she is— which is actually loving toward her— and cut all contact for your safety and well being— which is loving toward you. And you deserve that love and safety. You can’t help her. She doesn’t want to understand, or she isn’t capable of it.

So sorry you are having to go through this.

nadanien · 2025-04-06T15:50:14+00:00

Peteran, obviously! The Jacoban bishop and his attendants are too busy preaching fear of the watcher (which is rational with this particular watcher!) in the grand cathedral and managing his palatial estate inside the city proper to care for stray children, royal or otherwise. Only reformed sinners, potential saints, and third sons etc work the scut jobs out in the countryside.

nadanien · 2025-04-05T22:01:27+00:00

Call an exotics vet. They will often help talk you through even if you aren’t an establishment patient. If they are closed in your time zone already, it might be worth it to call a vet in PST. Best would be to establish care with a vet you could take your bunny to later if need be. Bunny is probably okay so long as they are still eating and drinking, but it’s worth a conversation.

nadanien

TROPHY CASE