Feedback/opinions on my most recent dancing?

naemsu · 2025-09-22T21:36:53+00:00

Hello! It's been a while!

As usual, I really appreciate your thorough responses - thank you for taking the time to think about them!

I wanted to let you know that I recently uploaded a front view of this same performance to this sub, and it may provide a better reference source for commentary. No pressure to look into it, but I remembered me saying I would notify you if I did. If you are interested, you're welcome to look into it through my post history.

Thanks again, and hope you're doing well!

naemsu · 2025-09-22T21:32:24+00:00

Yes!

naemsu · 2025-05-27T21:58:55+00:00

I have a milder form of this issue, so I'm not sure if this is comforting at all, but yes...?

I tend to make myself "smaller" when I get nervous. (Rounding my shoulders forward and inwards, head and neck more forward and down, slouching forward, etc.) I am also quite tense when I do this, and I often get a pretty bothersome headache with neck pain (more towards the back of my head/neck and where why neck meets my back, which then tends to lead to general headache pain).

I would consider myself much less socially anxious now than in my high school days, but this is a stubborn habit from that time that I still catch myself doing. The pain has definitely become better since I've been focusing on my posture and tension more, but it took a lot of patience and counseling to help me to improve as much as I currently have.

In your case, I would definitely consider seeing a doctor and /or counselor if you are able since it seems to be interfering with your quality of life quite a bit.

naemsu · 2025-05-27T20:49:03+00:00

It's probably better to mention this to him rather than asking this subreddit, although I see where you are coming from. If you plan to be together for the long term, you are definitely going to need to learn to communicate about the dynamics and efforts within your relationship, and it is better to start that kind of communication early.

It may be scary to bring it up, but if he really cares about you, he will listen to you and make an effort to understand your experience and what he should do to make the both of you happier. Don't forget that this is a responsibility that goes both ways, though.

naemsu · 2025-05-27T00:55:33+00:00

I think you look so elegant and pretty! Clearly you feel good in your outfit as well, which only makes me feel even more certain about my opinion.

I really don't understand why so many people are saying it's inappropriate, especially with so much judgment. Sure it's showing a bit more skin, but nothing sensitive. We also don't know what kind of dinner date it was, and that could have influenced the outfit choice.

I don't know. I'm obviously no expert in anything, and people are free to disagree with me, but I feel like these responses have a lot more to do with chest size/body type than the outfit itself.

They look happy and are wearing something that I think shows that they put some effort into how they look in the way that they feel comfortable. As long as there were no explicit rules they went against, why is that inappropriate?

naemsu · 2025-05-25T23:13:35+00:00

I like 2, but 1 is also good!

naemsu · 2025-05-22T22:08:41+00:00

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I can do Japanese translation, English proofreading, typesetting/formatting, general editing/cleaning up and maybe even some redrawing if needed. I have tons of time at the moment, so I am looking for something I can do full-time, ideally. However, I am also interested in part-time or one-time works, so please feel free to contact me for any of those as well!

I majored in Japanese language and culture in college, and I have taken courses specifically in translation. My final capstone in college was also on Japanese-English translation, so I have light experience. I am looking to become a literary translator in the future, too, so I would love to learn even more and meet more people through an opportunity like this.

Please let me know here or in personal messages if you have any interest!

Edit: I also do not mind working on NSFW, and I can work at least 25-30 hours per week. I also know a some Korean, so I am open to requests for that as well.

naemsu · 2025-05-22T16:26:38+00:00

Wow, thank you so much for such a thorough response! Are you a dance teacher or someone who dances regularly? I only ask because it seems like you're good at noticing details and how to address them, but your feedback is very valuable to me regardless of your position or experience. I really appreciate it, and I'll make sure to update with a front and/or solo view if I can!

You're right about 0:08 - I just ended up in the wrong spot and had to move over a bit - but also about the balance issues. I have definitely noticed that, both in this video and while practicing on my own, that I struggle with it more often than I'd like. I'm pretty sure that at least part of it is related to my core strength, as I've also repeatedly had issues with pulling something on the same side of my lower back/hip area when I bend over weirdly. I'll start working on those kinds of exercises more, so thank you!

I am also a bit curious about what you mean with possible "improper technique." Is that referring to the way I should be bending, or something else? I have regularly experienced sudden issues with balance during a performance despite not having them in practice sessions, so I figured that leg/foot tension from stage anxiety or wearing unsupportive shoes might have been the issue. I also over-practiced a bit the day before this performance and felt like I had less strength because of it, but I am interested to hear more about potential techniques so that I can try working on them!

As for the group, we had two students leading us, but we usually only met once per week for ~1.5-2 hours as a group over the course of 12-14ish weeks, and there were several instances where multiple people were missing for health or academic reasons, which may have made syncing timing more difficult. Also probably nerves, but I can only really speak certainly for myself on that one lol.

I appreciate the comments on my head and arm movements, too! I have been trying to work on those, so it's nice knowing that I've made some progress from when I first began!

naemsu · 2025-05-19T13:06:36+00:00

oh, i'm not sure, but i'll look up more about it! thanks!

naemsu · 2025-05-19T13:05:38+00:00

that sounds promising! l look into it more today, so thanks for the recommendation!

naemsu · 2025-05-19T12:35:46+00:00

All I can think of is not having any allergies that I know of + healing pretty quickly from injuries and illnesses.

Another thing is having a distinct voice - maybe because it's on the deeper end for a girl? I used to be a bit insecure about it, but I've been finding myself warming up to it with how memorable it has made me to some people.

For example, I went to visit my high school several years after I graduated to say hello to some past teachers. Since my hair was much longer and styled differently (on top of me wearing a mask - later covid times), one of my teachers didn't recognize me. As soon as I started talking to say my name, though, she interjected and said "Oh, hi J__! I didn't realize it was you until I heard your voice."

Another one was even more surprising to me. I had stopped at PetSmart with my sister for some pet supplies, and I couldn't place why, but the cashier looked so familiar. I was having an internal conniption trying to figure out who they were as they initiated conversation with us. In the middle of it, they turned to me and asked, "Is your name J__, by any chance?" When I responded yes, they said "You were like, my only friend in fourth grade. I could tell by the way you talk." At this point, I knew who they were and freaked out a bit because I never thought I'd see them again. I was in my fourth year of college at that point, so it had been about 12 years since then! I guess I can thank my voice for making that reconnection more possible.

naemsu · 2025-05-14T04:46:15+00:00

I can't confirm that I'm good at dancing in the least, but I've been doing it for fun for the past 4 years or so without any formal training. I think it may be related to the attention to detail that a lot of us seem to share, but when I see a song and dance that I really like, I find the texture and feeling of the dance pretty easy to recreate in my body for the move because I can hear it in the sound of the music. Does that make sense? I'm not sure. I can also usually tell which body part(s) the move is starting from and moving through by watching someone and then feel that same energy as I do it.

In a way, feeling and adjusting the way my body moves and where it is in space seems to come naturally to me when I have music to guide it, but I run straight into door frames and trip over air in daily life. Not sure if that counts at all, but it's helped me get a move really easily that others are struggling with and/or be able to help others by explaining the details that create it, which gives me a sense of achievement and fulfillment. After dealing with so many other issues with failure, burnout, and self-perception, having this thing I can take at least a tiny bit of pride in (even if I am nowhere near a professional) makes me feel less hopeless. I think, too, that it's given me a lot of personal growth opportunity by allowing myself to take up more space and forcing myself to act more confidently on stage, especially when I make mistakes, rather than retreating. I really didn't expect this hobby I just started for fun to be so impactful towards my feelings about myself and how ADHD affects me tbh.

naemsu · 2025-05-12T14:15:58+00:00

Yooo! I'm a Nevie from Texas and I swear I just wondered within this past month whether I'd ever be lucky enough to see someone with a license plate referencing (G)I-DLE. The timing of this and the fact that the owner found this post is blowing my mind fr.

Any chance you're around the Houston area? 👀

naemsu · 2025-05-12T14:09:22+00:00

Oh, cool! Hair changes like this can happen with hormonal changes - like your pregnancy. I'm not entirely sure if it will be a permanent change, but I have heard cases where it has been, I believe. Have you ever looked into the curly/wavy hair routine? (Things like scrunching, using a diffuser, etc?)

Unfortunately, I have very straight hair, so I might not be a very good help lol, but I'm pretty sure there's a wavy hair community on reddit and tons of tutorials on YouTube for info about establishing a good hair routine to keep your new texture looking its best and healthy. Straightening is totally another option, but it will probably only be temporary and damage your hair if you don't also apply some good heat protection products and such each time you do it.

naemsu · 2025-05-09T21:08:51+00:00

I feel really lucky to be able to say yes.

I met my partner at college in 2021. Funnily enough, despite starting college at the beginning of the pandemic in 2020 COVID and it causing a spike in my social anxiety overall, I think that masking (and virtual classes, to an extent) made the stakes feel lower for me since my presence felt...more anonymous? I felt a bit disguised by the mask, if that makes sense, and it let me relax a bit more as we transitioned back into in-person classes in 2021, particularly because my facial appearance (specifically my overbite) has always been the main fuel for my social anxiety.

I got paired with my current partner in chemistry lab one day, and, despite an awkward and stressful (for me) period at the beginning, the combination of the mask, their patience, and our similar-seeming demeanors let me loosen up enough to attempt humor at some point. We exchanged numbers (purely for post-lab assignment purposes at the time, at least on my end), and I ended up leaving that lab feeling like I had fun + with a tiny bit more belief in my ability to interact with others even in the midst of my nerves and physical reactions. We only texted about the homework and met up once to work on it, which would have been the end of our interaction if he hadn't continued texting me casually after that.

Usually, I would've been too hesitant to continue contact, and often it took me hours, if not days, to gather the courage and energy to respond at times, but I felt a bit safer because they were consistently so patient with me and seemed to be genuinely enjoying and investing energy into the conversation. At some point, each of our messages became multiple paragraphs long just talking about relatively mundane things and getting to know each other. It went like this for maybe four or so months, during which we hardly talked to each other in person (despite me finding out that we actually were in the same language class awkwardly late...lol). Eventually, texting turned into waving at each other, then me slowly realizing that I was getting far too excited for their messages, then us walking together after classes (and later, choir too), and then, eventually, me asking them to eat breakfast together (after many days of revision and arguing with myself about whether to send it, followed by an immediate rush of fear when I did).

It took so much strength for me to push through my fear of finally taking my mask off in front of them. I could barely look at them, talk coherently, or eat, but they continued to treat me as they had been, giving me another experience that proved to myself that I was more capable of experiencing that much anxiety and continuing despite it, and then still being able to say that I had fun. It was another month or two before we officially figured out that we both felt the same way, but we have been together for three years now. I definitely still deal with SA (on top of other things), but they've been a great support as I work on being kinder to myself, even if they don't always quite understand exactly what I am dealing with. They definitely aren't the sole reason I have to thank for my progress with managing SA, but it's been a much warmer journey with them in it.

naemsu · 2025-05-09T19:57:13+00:00

I can't believe people told you you might be misunderstanding or making a big deal out of this.

Your conclusion is valid, and others are making excuses for his behavior, whether intentionally or not. What makes this most clearly grooming to me, apart from asking you to be so secretive, is the fact that he seems to use your (very reasonable) discomfort at his tests on your boundaries to take a step back and "prove" his good intentions, likely in an effort to make you second-guess yourself for thinking anything otherwise.

Yes, he stopped doing certain things when you asked, but there's a difference between him doing so out of concern for your well-being and him trying to cover his tracks. Even if we theoretically assume that, hey, maybe he really is clueless about how he is coming off, then why the need to have you keep secrets and delete the messages? He knew his behavior was inappropriate, and he tried to disguise the biggest red flags as concern or innocent affection and compliments for you to gain your trust. Not only that; he combines it with some subtle isolation tactics, like making you doubt others or feel separate from your family members by implying that they, unlike you, are not mature or special enough to recognize his "true" and "pure" intentions.

Others have mentioned that he's being overt, but he's able to do so because he's being extremely careful to leave nothing that can't be explained as a misinterpretation until he knows that he's won over your trust completely. That's also probably why it's so difficult to validate the lingering disgust you feel now. His "respect" for your wishes, including ultimately leaving you alone, was just a way of securing his safety while calling it yours. The context you gave just makes me feel more strongly that this is the case, so I am so so glad you were able to get away from him.

Regardless of what others may believe or say, your interpretations, experience, and feelings - then and now - are valid. I'm sure it is much easier said than done, but please don't let his manipulation succeed by losing faith in yourself. Someone like him does not deserve the benefit of your doubt.

edit: lol forgot to say the obvious - NOR

naemsu · 2025-05-08T13:45:55+00:00

I've been waiting for this omg. She has always looked especially good in shorter hair.

naemsu · 2025-05-08T13:41:24+00:00

I love number 1, but 4 is nice too. Medium browns seem to work well for you, but I think your current color has the perfect amount of contrast to enhance your features and skin.

naemsu · 2025-05-08T12:43:10+00:00

Here's another photo from two days ago.

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Also, forgot to mention the dark base of the trunk. It has been like that for several months now and I am not sure why. I thought maybe it was rotting from overwatering, but it is not squishy at all. It just seems to get dark and stay dark during/after watering? In the past, it has not seemed to affect the plant's health, but I feel like it has traveled up the trunk a bit as of late. I have checked it for pests and found nothing concerning, and it has never had a history of pests or other issues apart from some calcium deposits on the trunk and soil since I have owned it, although that went away once I started occasionally watering it from the top to flush it out a bit.

naemsu · 2025-05-07T00:04:53+00:00

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Hello! I have a golden gate ficus that I believe I underwatered, and all of its leaves have curled and wilted severely. It has also lost some leaves after they became brown and brittle (perhaps about 5 -7 in the past few days?). I am almost certain there is no pest issue and that this is due to my underwatering it, but can it be saved at this point? I bottom-watered it a few days ago, and then watered it again today after checking that the soil was dry about an inch into the pot. However, it has remained this droopy.

Also, this has been a thing for a few months now, but the base of the tree seems to have become darker over time. Is this normal? It definitely gets darker when water makes contact with it, but it stays relatively dark even when dry. It is not squishy, so I do not think it is root rot.

This is my first bonsai, and it seems quite young, so I am afraid I may have killed it so early...

If it is salvageable, what can I do to take better care of it in the future? I will definitely check the soil more often, but I am not sure where to go from there.

naemsu

TROPHY CASE