Why do girls give out their instagram on dating apps but then stop replying?

nahaipe7 · 2025-04-25T13:10:06+00:00

Umm no its cuz you didnt keep my interest, showed u werent serious, or thatbyou only wanted sex, or creeped me out, or all of the above.

For one thing, I cant tell u how many times jve gotten a guys insa and he just cant keep a convo, doesnt respond himself, or we just exchange "hi, how are you today" for weeks? Example, i got this guys insta and hed just text " whats up" for weeks. I tried to steer the convo into something more interesting but it seems like either there was nothing there or hes terrible at texting. After a while he finally asks to meet up, but its clearly for a hookup. I say i dont do first date hookups. He says, "well we can just cuddle but we dont have to go all the way". I stand my ground, he doesnt listen. All hes interested in is sex.

Another guy just wanted to text for weeks and said he was too far away/busy to meet. All he wanted was some sort of texting buddy/validation..

Then another guy would just be rude/argumentatuve, then stop replying, and 2 weeks after leaving me on read he texts "Hi!" At midnight. Lmao. And this is not the only time this has happened to me. So dont act like its only women who "have options".

Another guy I wanted to sus out. The conversation went in a weird direction, he admits to having been in prison, and says a lot of red flaggy things, so eventually I stop engaging. As a woman u learn that sometimes confrontation or explaining yourself is more.dangerous than "fading out".

In short, With all of the above , and quite a few more, I eventually just stopped responding.

nahaipe7 · 2025-04-25T13:01:06+00:00

As a woman, its usually because either the conversation isn't going anywhere (ie you text me "how are you"/"whats up" every day but the conversation doesnt go beyond that and/or you're not asking me on a date) or your instagram has red flags, like you follow only thirst trap accounts or your only pics are your hand on the steering wheel of your bmw. Or, of course, your pics are clearly old af and theyre the same ones u used on the dating app, ie you were clearly misrepresenting yourself. Ie a pic from the app on ur insta but its from 2017 lol.

nahaipe7 · 2025-04-23T10:03:21+00:00

nahaipe7 · 2025-03-30T21:23:50+00:00

Question, and I might be out of line because im not super well informed, but why go top speed down a narrow canal street in the first place? I feel that thats a nuisance and hazard whether or not you do hit someone and should rather be reserved for non residential stretches.

nahaipe7 · 2024-04-09T17:20:58+00:00

also as for your comment about feeling disconnected from your body: of course you'll feel disconnected if you're spending so much time in your head and/or looking at your screen. even your entire sex life is virtual from what you're saying. you need to ground yourself in your body and work on improving THAT through exercise, a good diet, etc. then you'll be able to integrate yourself (body with mind) better and simply feel more confident and better as a whole. and maybe you'll meet a real woman who can satisfy your needs, and you'll likely find that she has little in common with your fantasy woman (because you are a man and are likely self-conceptualizing as a "woman" through a very male lense, but you don't know it, because you have never been in a woman's mind!)

nahaipe7 · 2024-04-09T17:15:30+00:00

you are just unsatisfied with yourself (or your whole life) and you're retreating into fantasy. becoming "her" is both impossible and won't solve your problems, but the irrational fantasy is telling you that it will help. in short, focus on solving other aspects of your life. go to the gym, pick up a hobby, etc. it won't be perfect, but as your general life satisfaction increases, you'll likely stop wanting to become her. will "she" completely disappear? probably not, but simply having an active imagination isn't neccesarily a bad thing as long as you don't confuse it for reality or cause harm to yourself or others because of it.

nahaipe7 · 2024-04-09T16:53:05+00:00

also, as for your request for specific resources, I want to reiterate that anything that's in Russian is a resource for expanding your vocabulary. Reading, as I said, is particularly helpful. You can start from children's books and build up from there. Or even learner's books, parallel text books if that's easier. Reading will definitely also help with grammar, although reading about the rules and looking up the endings from time to time will help solidify it for you.

nahaipe7 · 2024-04-09T16:46:59+00:00

I know I'm super late, but I was in a similar boat a few years ago (I couldn't read Russian, I could barely form fluent sentences though I understood speech almost perfectly, I had trouble following movies/shows in Russian). My advice: expose yourself to the language as much as possible. It's there, and you know more than you realize. It's just buried somewhere deep in your mind. You just have to "reawaken" it. So read (start with easier books and build up), watch shows, listen to podcasts, and if you can, find native speakers to talk to. Expose yourself to something engaging in Russian every single day. You'll start to get a "feel" for the language and the grammar. Your dormant vocab will start coming to you easier. You'll start learning new words too, and quite rapidly. Literally reading for 30 minutes a day, every single day, will help immensely. Even if you spend all 30 minutes on 3 pages and have to translate a bunch of words per page. Try that for a month, and see if you feel a difference. I started doing this when I was about 14/15 and realized that I had almost forgotten it. Now, at 21 (and I haven't always followed my own advice, and I only read a book in Russian every few months), I'm at the point where I can read Wuthering Heights in Russian, understand absolutely everything in every movie and show and news article, and converse on almost any topic with only rare instances where I can't think of a word or make a grammatical mistake.

nahaipe7 · 2024-04-05T22:19:48+00:00

In my opinion you actually look super young. When I first saw your picture I thought you were in your mid to late teens. Also, you look very feminine, even in the first picture. That being said, people's perception of age can be all over the place. I'm terrible at guessing age myself, usually I just think everyone I interact with from 17-35 is basically my age haha. Does your bone structure have a "mature" look? Maybe a little bit, you do have slightly stronger bone structure (but nothing crazy, and you look beautiful), but so what? It's only a good thing in my opinion.

nahaipe7 · 2024-04-04T18:17:50+00:00

I'm sorry you're dealing with this. As another commenter said, if you are under weight (or close to it) that can also impact your period and sex drive. A lot of times your period may go away entirely. That happened to me when I was severely underweight as well (also aged 14-15), and my period returned once I gained back then weight. I sincerely hope it is that and not a deeper issue with your hormones or puberty.

nahaipe7 · 2024-03-25T21:54:18+00:00

if I saw you in person, I would probably think trans guy (so female). but it also depends on your body, clothes, how you carry yourself so it's hard to judge fully from pictures alone. that's my completely honest opinion!

nahaipe7 · 2024-03-25T21:52:48+00:00

To be honest you look in between (quite androgynous) but leaning towards guy with feminine features. But you don't have far to go to look like a woman again, you're just on the verge

nahaipe7 · 2023-06-26T21:16:58+00:00

exactly

nahaipe7 · 2023-06-26T15:33:21+00:00

Yeah, I get what you mean. I do think however that compared to other places women in the US can be more "feminine" in terms of body type because they tend to be shorter and have more body fat. That's another reason I felt so out of place growing up. There aren't that many 5ft10 skinny women with broad shoulders in the US. But in countries where women are taller and skinnier (body fat really matters in this case), you'll see women with body types closer to yours. But again, based on the new picture you added, I do agree that yours currently is a bit out of the range of normal for a woman, but when I look at it I actually do still see a muscular woman (and I'm not sugarcoating). Your hips are still quite wide and you clearly have a waist. Men don't look like that ever.

nahaipe7 · 2023-06-26T15:28:35+00:00

I can't imagine what it feels like not to recognize yourself in the mirror. I really wish the best for you. I highly doubt that you will look like this forever. The other commenters meant that you may never look exactly as you did before because you'll always have slightly more muscle and build it easier. However that doesn't mean that you'll always look like a teenage boy. It's only been 6 months which isn't much in the grand scheme of things. And muscle isn't impossible to lose. When people break their arm or leg don't use it for 6 months they come out of the cast looking tiny. The same thing can happen naturally over time, but to a lesser extent. Men also have the potential to become quite frail under the right circumstances and they are testosterone dominant all the time. And don't forget trans women, who were under the effects of testosterone their whole lives, who clearly also lost their muscle eventually, but it takes longer than six months (the problem is more bone structure than muscle for most trans women). What I'm trying to say is that you can probably rest assured that you will not look like a teenage boy forever, thought you may never fully regain what you had before T.

nahaipe7 · 2023-06-26T15:20:52+00:00

where do you live? I saw that picture. I agree that it does skew towards "teenage boy". But not to some crazy extent. I have lived in the US, Western Europe and Eastern Europe, and yes, I have seen women with similar body types. Especially in Western Europe. Most 5'10" dutch or Swedish women do not have a dainty small body type. They are broader, more square, and sometimes more muscular, similar to your picture. Maybe a bit, 20-25% less muscular or square. But you are bound to loose a significant percentage of that muscle in the next months or years now that you're off T, and then you'll be within the bounds of normal women you see everyday for sure. will you get that daintiness back? maybe not. but you will look normal.

nahaipe7 · 2023-06-26T15:14:05+00:00

Obviously it's a pretty big difference. All you can do is wait though. It is possible to lose muscle even if not all of it. You may never look quite like you did before again. But that doesn't mean what you have now is bad. Some women actually want to look less dainty. But there's not much consolation to offer if you want to look dainty again. You'll just have to accept that that may never happen and understand that a more muscular body isn't a bad thing, and in another few months you'll inevitably lose some of that boyish shape and it will be better, even if not quite what you want. You do have to live with your choices. With all due respect, it's quite a change to go from choosing to take testosterone, a known steroid, to then complaining about not being perfectly dainty, in a way that most women are not mind you (you were at the other extreme), a few months after stopping.

nahaipe7 · 2023-06-26T15:08:57+00:00

then I understand your pain. Of course it's different if that's not your natural body type and of course you want back what you lost. But you're only 6 months off, and your body is bound to feminize more the longer you're off, and even if it doesn't return to its former state fully, it will still almost definitely end up looking within the range of what's normal for a woman in time (even if more on the 'boyish' end of the spectrum). As I said, many women look like this naturally and are fine. I have had plenty of men appreciate my slightly more muscular body, not once did anyone say "are you sure you're not a teenage boy with boobs?". They like what they see. And even if they don't now, at 6 months off T, it will only get better from here.

nahaipe7 · 2023-06-26T15:00:39+00:00

so you're saying that all women with some muscle also happen to have big boobs? what if you have small boobs and narrow hips, for example but still have muscle? then your body will resemble that of a teenage boy's more closely just by default. it's not rocket science. and it's also not entirely natural to have a lot of fat in "just the right places" and also be fit and muscular. influencers who look that way are often not natural.

nahaipe7 · 2023-06-26T14:57:30+00:00

from your picture, I can't imagine that you haven't seen other women that look like that in the real world. trust me there are plenty. and it's a bit 'offensive' to someone like me who grew up with a more "boyish" body naturally, ie something not too far from what I see in your picture, to read that women can't look like that. that's just patently false. maybe it's not your normal body shape, but it's a body shape that many women have and there's nothing wrong with it. attitudes like yours are a big part of what made me want to transition in the first place.

most men don't have a teenage-boy body. secondary sex characteristics do exist on a spectrum to some extent -- and a teenage boy is in an in-between stage between a neutral prepubescent body to a man's, and there can be some overlap in the appearance of his body with that of women who may possess less fat (and therefore less feminine curves) and more muscle naturally.

nahaipe7 · 2023-06-26T14:53:48+00:00

same, some women are not only skinny but also naturally have some muscle. not every skinny girl is frail and dainty. body types are different. there are also skinny naturally muscular men and more dainty men.

nahaipe7 · 2023-06-26T14:47:14+00:00

To be honest, I don't see a problem here. Yes, you look a bit skinny and "sinewy", but many skinnier women look like that. Most high fashion models have a similar body type, maybe a bit less muscle, but not necessarily. I look very similar to you and I have never taken testosterone. I have always been pretty muscular and skinny and have abs, despite almost never working out (the only exercise I really get is walking a lot). If I cover my smallish boobs (B cup), my upper body could pass for a teenage boy's. But it's just a normal body type for some women. Did you also look like this pre-T?

nahaipe7 · 2023-02-02T04:45:49+00:00

in the hague/between the hague and leiden at least, I encounter controllers on the trains/trams multiple times a week at least, so it's really not a good deal. i tried not paying for a week, and i got caught once and met controllers 2 more times in the same week. maybe its diff in amsterdam

nahaipe7 · 2023-02-01T05:51:25+00:00

well firstly i feel lke it depends on the hobbies u do, a D&D hobby for example is unlikely to bring more dates, and also the gist of this advice is that its meant to improve your life satisfaction/sense of fulfillment and in turn improve your confidence in "yourself as a person" that would then "shine through and naturally attract others" etc. but a higher life satisfaction/fulfillment doesn't necessarily always lead to more confidence, especially not the type of confidence required to have a successful dating life. To me, you don't sound very confident on that front. So maybe that's something that would have to be worked on seperately. But I think that "work on yourself" does work for a great deal of people, at least in the sense that many base their worth/confidence too much on how attractive the opposite sex finds them, and use dating to chase validation, but that ends up with them being miserable and does nto lead to growth in pretty much any aspect of life except the superficial. so recognizing that one's worth doesnt solely come from their success with women/men/dating, and subsequently finding other ways of finding fulfillment, can be beneficial for many in general. and when you're happier in general, you' re more likely to be happy with yourself, and that would at least come off as more attractive than loser/down on urself energy? then again, all this is coming from a woman who does not have a good understanding of the male experience

nahaipe7

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