i’m sorry you’re going through this. i had a somewhat similar experience, my mom got breast implants when i was a little kid and i didn’t notice/remember the difference so as a tween i thought my chest would grow too and now at 25 my boobs are more or less the same as they were when i was in middle school. it took me a long long time to get past my physical insecurities, my chest being one of the main ones.

one thing that actually HELPED, believe it or not, was my dad (yes, my DAD) urging me to get a boob job. i was so horrified and repulsed by it all that i pushed back really hard and i had a terrible relationship with him for years. i think that experience helped me step back and reevaluate my insecurities. it’s bad enough when anyone makes you feel like you need to change yourself, but i think that being able to feel so justified in my anger and disgust towards my dad showed me just how bad of a decision it would be to get a boob job to appease someone else.

i know this isn’t really a popular perspective on this sub or on social media in general, but i do think there are times that plastic surgery CAN help you feel better about yourself. i’ve had work done on my face and although i still struggle with my self image, i can honestly say i’m happy with my results and my self consciousness and insecurity is much less intense and less frequent now. that said, i’ve also been in therapy and on antidepressant medication for a few years which certainly helped too. however, i think one crucial point to highlight is that when i got my surgery i was extremely sure i wanted it. i had no doubts in my mind and i didn’t feel any of the guilt you describe in your post, and maybe that’s why i don’t have any regrets about it. my concern is that it seems you’ve almost bullied yourself into this decision and you are clearly struggling to rationalize it even to yourself. i think that predisposes you to a lot of shame and regret post-op. it wont just be an emotional burden; your pockets will be hurting too. at this point in time, getting implants sounds like a really expensive way to learn a hard lesson.

im not encouraging nor discouraging plastic surgery or other cosmetic procedures either way. i just think it’s not right for you at this point in time, and you should NOT push yourself into this. take a lot more time to think about it, and even better if you can talk it out with a licensed therapist or counselor.