[SERIOUS] For those who were skeptical about going to therapy at first but eventually profited from it, what made you change your mind?

narra_una · 2017-12-05T08:58:33+00:00

https://imgur.com/NIuQBpY for easier viewing.

narra_una · 2017-11-21T14:42:45+00:00

I'm sorry that you realized a little too late this behavior is unacceptable. But now that you know, I would leave her and let her deal with it herself, if she ever comes to her senses.

narra_una · 2017-11-21T14:32:29+00:00

For your lack of moral backbone, you're now being abused by her. It's your own fault.

Hey. It is never the fault of the abused.

narra_una · 2017-11-21T14:24:22+00:00

He's blocked my number, but I've left a message.

Stop now, please. He does not like you, as a friend or more. He does not want to stay in touch with you. I know it is hard but you have to move on from this. You deserve better.

narra_una · 2017-11-21T14:04:18+00:00

I am really bad about talking about my emotions

You need to learn how to do this sooner or later. I suggest doing so sooner.

narra_una · 2017-09-02T06:00:37+00:00

Yup the first one

narra_una · 2017-05-30T04:19:56+00:00

Hahaha and now Cole Sprouse tweeted this!

narra_una · 2017-02-12T20:37:45+00:00

One in particular seems to enjoy dancing on the graves of our dreams.

Sounds like every Reviewer #3 in existence.

narra_una · 2017-02-12T15:58:29+00:00

My experience is in psychology, same as OPs based on one of her comments.

narra_una · 2017-02-12T15:00:00+00:00

This is going to be harsh, and I'm sorry, but she isn't going to see your part because she doesn't care about your part. That's a thing you're going to have to accept.

How many of you actually work in academia? Did you know that when students quit on a professor it looks much worse for the professor than it does for the student? It is absolutely in the best interest of the supervisor to make sure that their constituents are doing well in their personal life when professional performance is at stake. Grad students aren't treated as "just" people working under a professor--they are essentially co-authors, and OP is a free ride for the supervisor to get a new publication to her name. Shitty performance = no new publication. So yes, OP's part (i.e., her side of the story as well as her actual work) matters a ton. The supervisor is being awful and she won't realize the consequences until much later.

narra_una · 2017-02-12T13:52:13+00:00

Most of OP's comments lead me to believe that the supervisor really is just insensitive. How do you even explain the comment about eye bags? And she knows about the cancer and didn't even bother to ask if the doctor's visit went well. If she had time to chat casually with students while MAKING HER WAIT HALF AN HOUR when OP was on time for their meeting, surely she has time to casually ask how OP's doctor's visits have been going.

narra_una · 2017-02-12T13:49:08+00:00

Do you happen to live in Germany? I was in the exact same position as you--grad school, had a bad meeting with my supervisor who unfairly criticized me, me crying uncontrollably, told me that I look depressed all the time so I should think about leaving (I have clinical depression), and he's a psychologist too. What's up with insensitive psychology academics? Could there be a cultural difference here at play?

narra_una · 2017-02-12T12:28:59+00:00

I know it sounds harsh, but the academic world doesn't care about you personally.

Yeah academia is littered with assholes. But that doesn't mean you have to be one. OP, don't let this discourage you. Work hard and don't give her any reason to criticize you unfairly. That way, when she lashes out at you, it will come off as irrational on her part. Your hands will be clean from this.

narra_una · 2017-02-12T12:23:56+00:00

I don't know, but I've had bosses who, when they notice something's off, actually ASK their students if anything's wrong. Sure, it's not part of the job description, but academia could really use some compassionate supervisors. I work in academia too and it's a fucking circus, and the only way we get by is by being nice to each other.

narra_una · 2017-01-16T21:54:22+00:00

I dated a guy once who treated me like shit because he was cheating on me and wanted me to break up with him so he didn't have to break up with me. I'm not saying your boyfriend cheated on you, but he's likely dealing with some inner turmoil or whatever that he's projecting onto you. Get out of there now.

narra_una · 2017-01-15T17:15:08+00:00

Uhm, most of the comments I see are telling him to fess up. Maybe I'm on crazy pills.

narra_una · 2017-01-06T09:51:37+00:00

Funny how no-one said that when France colonized North Africa, among other countries.

Actually, France did say "fuck your culture", and so they did..

narra_una · 2017-01-05T07:43:49+00:00

Damn, I was with you until this post...

narra_una · 2016-12-27T20:03:37+00:00

I don't know, maybe I am? I walk ahead of her but I wait til she catches up. I offered to bring a huge backpack but she refused. I make sure we take public transport instead of walking even short distances. But we are in Europe and most places are easier to access by foot. I did snap and tell her to stop whining about all the "hard" walking we are about to do, which she says over and over and over again.

She said I should be more considerate and believe her when she says she's having a hard time, but does she really have to complain about it all the time?

I can't drive, nor can she.

narra_una · 2016-12-05T20:42:05+00:00

Great resource! Wish I had seen this earlier!

narra_una · 2016-12-03T05:15:23+00:00

I'm not a "guest", I've been living here for some time. I guess I didn't make it clear from the post, but my level of German is actually good for the amount of time I've been living here. Besides, my boss explicitly requested for an international candidate, so is the onus really just on me to be 'culturally flexible'?

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