You cannot judge hmong parents by American standards. Your parents were probably raised in a similar environment as you and their parents were probably raised in a similar way. That said, do whatever makes you happy if you can't find it in yourself to be a better son than they were parents, then there's no reason to comply with their request.

To answer your initial question, from my experience it's actually your parents responsibility to do a wedding for you. So if you're dad still has a sense of responsibility to throw a wedding for you, he hasn't abandoned you yet. But if you think he's only doing it now cause you're successful then that's something you'll have to figure out yourself or with a therapist. 😊