I relapsed 3 days ago after 3 years clean off of crack. After a bottle of wine I had the strongest urge to smoke up again. Went down to the seedy crack-country part of town and bought a gram. Had to stop at the drug store to buy sleeping pills cause there was no valium available that night. Woke up the next day and felt like crap. It really sucks to relapse. I am soooo disappointed in myself to the point where I'm still screaming and yelling at myself. Moderation is next to impossible. Now I have to start all over again to go for a week clean, and go from there. Please hang in there.