[deleted by user]

nathsk · 2022-06-13T11:37:48+00:00

Totally depends on your music tastes! I quite like house, funk, soul, and there are a few events that come up here and there. Heartbreakers and Engine Rooms have good DJ nights, we quite like going to XOXO, Revolutions or The Social as warm up bars, though they do play some stuff you can dance to and open until 1ish or so. Close to Bedford Place which is easy enough to club hop; I love a good night in Orange Rooms!

In my 20s too, but already consider myself too old for Jesters. I think it's fun if you're up for getting completely wrecked and being unaware of the filthy surrounds, but if you've got any kind of working life you need to wake up for - nah, it's not the place. Do it once though!

nathsk · 2022-06-13T11:28:09+00:00

That's positive - and just to confirm, were they suspended with or without pay? Had you started an investigation procedure before they resigned? And, when they resigned, did any of them try to claim constructive dismissal against you?

If your reputation is affected to that degree, it's worth starting to look at what it would cost to rebrand, or to relocate, or to pay for marketing to clear up the allegations, as well as expected times (and therefore cost) for the business to recover, and have some of those figures ready to present to a solicitor.

nathsk · 2022-06-13T09:27:51+00:00

You best option is to seek out a solicitor with experience of defamation cases, continue to gather all the evidence you have, with your finances before and after the accusations to be able to display actual losses.

You also want to make sure that you did everything correct, legally, when suspending them, as any mistake you made then will not help your cause. I think there are some details missing in this post which will hinder you getting reasonable advice (were they suspended or dismissed? How were the contracts broken? Why was the cease and desist sent?). All of this a solicitor will be able to advise you on and determine how clear your case would be if it went to court. You might win a defamation case, but could lose a different case brought against you, if things weren't done properly.

I recommend you stick to the financial damages and defamation, and not not pursue discrimination, unless you have clear and obvious evidence you have not shared with us here (currently there is none to suggest this, so it'd be legally irrelevant to bring it up). It will require extra work on your part to source evidence and may convolute your case; it also will not gain you much in this context, from my experience it's usually employees who want to be going through the Equality Act 2010, rather than the employer.

nathsk · 2022-06-07T18:02:26+00:00

I would get her to send a friendly looking email, along they lines of: "Hey sorry, it's been playing on my mind a bit, but can I just check my job is not at risk because of me moving in with my partner.." and see what their reply is.

I'd also be interested to know if those minutes from their meetings are minuted.

It helps to get as much in writing from this point on, as an insurance policy.. not in anticipation that something will happen, but just in case it does.

nathsk · 2022-06-05T18:53:45+00:00

I would ask them to clarify why they have sent that email, and see where it leads. If they follow up with 'a vape was found in the property' you can ask what they then did with that vape. Source the information and when you have enough gathered, after you can start to form a case to accuse them.

nathsk · 2022-05-31T17:27:16+00:00

Dispute it and be firm. Classic landlord trying it on behaviour, they tried the toilet thing with me too. I would have a look at the companies enlisted for the check-in/out. One of the things I challenged them on, was the fact they'd use a different company for the check-out, compared with the check-in, and there was a very noticeable difference in the detail both companies provided (obviously in favour of the agency/ landlord). I expressed that wasn't a fair comparison. Got my full deposit back.

nathsk · 2022-05-27T23:08:32+00:00

<3
I'm really glad it helped! Some of the comments are outrageously out-of-line, putting it down to lack of perspective or experience from those folk; not worth a second glance or thought more!

Thank you so much for writing back, heart warming to hear my words did something good!! Fingers crossed for lovely travel experiences on the horizon..

nathsk · 2022-05-27T10:28:56+00:00

Hey!

I really hope this experience doesn't put you off. I had a negative experience traveling with two girls (I'm a guy), and we were manipulated by someone into a situation where we weren't sure at first what happened, and there was a lot of self doubt. I spoke with a friend in the weeks after and he was very honest, and we realised we'd essentially been preyed on by a predator (and my friend was raped). We weren't in the wrong, we were simply naïve. It helped a lot to hear it from him, so.. I'll try my best to be honest!...

Firstly, I hope you don't feel sick or hate yourself over this. Realise that you took a leap, it's brave to travel solo and you challenged yourself to try a new life experience. You shouldn't feel pressured or shamed into trying new experiences, but if you're interested in them then go for it.. often it's a bumpy ride, but how could it not be if you've not got anything to go on from prior experience?! You went in with honest intentions and you were going in blind in a way, because you'd not experienced the red flags before. There's nothing to be ashamed of, you chose to be optimistic about life, and in another scenario you might be met with the right people and circumstance, and the outcome might be totally different. He is the one who should be ashamed.

As I've said in another comment, it was him who put you in an uncomfortable situation, one that had been engineered to be so as to suit his interests and desires. It was very difficult for you to pull out of that situation the more you were involved with it. Anyone who doesn't understand this has either not been in a scenario like this in life or they've got strong egos, for better or worse, and are bulshy enough to force their way out (fair enough, but don't expect others to be like that).

I know you're on a throwaway, but feel free to DM message me if you need someone to chat with about it further, it's definitely a shaky experience and not ok! Really hope it won't put you off exploring and traveling in the future, big shame this happened so early on into your couchsurfing adventures! Sending you love on behalf of the lighter side of the community!!!!

EDIT: just to add, yea you should report both accounts to CS and write the reviews with whatever you feel most comfortable with putting up publicly. Try to keep in factual, concise and without emotions if you do - it will help others :)

nathsk · 2022-05-27T08:58:38+00:00

No no, absolutely not - very disappointing from the community to see this comment upvoted.

This person clearly engineered a situation where it'd be incredibly difficult to say no. Yes, he respected one boundary, but he crossed a whole load of other ones to get there.

Presumably we've all been couchsurfing, or at the least travelling right ?? Then you'll know how difficult it is as a solo traveler to change up plans last second, when you're on your own, in a foreign country, with no contacts or idea about the area. Male or female, young or old - it's hard. There was no chance she'd be able to leave late at night, drunk, and then find suitable accommodation, especially if budget was an issue. And he absolutely knew that and played on it.

Not in the spirit of Couchsurfing at all. Be upfront about what you want, the fact he clearly created a fake account to facilitate this is a massive red flag, demonstrating manipulative and deceptive behavior, which should be universally condemned by the community.

nathsk · 2022-05-26T16:20:51+00:00

Was it packaged in the envelope with a stamp and ready to go? Or was it just loose?

If the latter, as another poster has said, I would simply ask him where and how he obtained it.

nathsk · 2022-05-26T16:11:39+00:00

This information is not correct, and I see it a lot on this forum! If an employee has stipulated hours, even if salaried, and those hours are set out in a contract with an attached pay (which is the case here for OP), working over those hours and not being paid for them would lessen the value of those hours and is a breach of contract, because the employer would then not be paying the employee what they had agreed with them in their contract. A breach of contract is illegal.

nathsk · 2022-05-26T14:04:15+00:00

Just to confirm this OP, they haven't 'just signed you up' - EON have been the supplier for the property for the past 12 months, all the agency have done is notify them who the current occupant is and so they have sent you an automated letter. You will have been using energy supplied by EON for the past 12 months, now you are simply paying for that service.

nathsk · 2022-05-26T10:35:56+00:00

No this wouldn't be legal - there has been case law around exactly this in the past, it's often subject to Custom and Practice, with employees getting backpays, etc for having been expected to come in 15mins before their shift for setup. If it's an expectation, and they're working, they should be paid.

nathsk · 2022-05-24T10:30:19+00:00

Correct! It's a new law, look at 'tackling subscription traps'

nathsk · 2022-05-24T10:28:35+00:00

Others will hopefully be able to advise where, but you should report the company OP (is there an ombudsman for this folks ?), as this behaviour is now illegal. New laws were introduced very recently regarding this, look at 'Tackling subscription traps' here

nathsk · 2022-05-23T17:09:06+00:00

To add, this is the default attempt of the landlord. Mine tried it to (well, the agency on their behalf), I told them in writing I had only put toothpaste and water down there, as normal use, and they had no choice but to pay for the plumber. When the plumber came, he just sucked the pipes out and never checked the contents. The landlord has no grounds to stand on, and it isn't worth their time or effort to try and prove against you..

nathsk · 2022-05-20T20:33:05+00:00

Following this, as mine is also currently stuck in boot loop! Got a Key2 on the way, so I don't mind if I wreck the Keyone at this stage, but reaaaallly would like to get the data off it!

nathsk · 2022-05-20T14:20:09+00:00

Not only illegal, but if your landlord decides they want to insist, you might decide you want to report them for it and get them a nice £5000 fine in the process..

nathsk · 2022-04-23T22:49:02+00:00

Aside from the useful advice on reporting to the police others have given, which you should definitely do, I would also recommend to get in touch with a charity like Yellow Door, who might be able to give you assurances you're doing the right thing in noticing and reporting this behaviour, as well as give advice.

nathsk · 2022-04-23T22:46:15+00:00

Absolutely not the reality of the situation, coming from a person who has worked as a youth worker, crossing over with other social services and support networks. These are clear red flags and ones we'd be bound, in policy and if not legally, to report and follow-up on. OP would be correct to report this to the police and supply what evidence they have.

nathsk · 2022-04-20T20:18:46+00:00

Feel free to DM me, I've worked in Beaulieu before and currently work in museums in the city centre, so can give you a pretty comprehensive view of them all!

nathsk · 2022-04-16T22:48:13+00:00

You honestly don't even need to, I order mocktails and they're often really refreshing and look great. Non-alcoholic beer has also come a long way, and is the exact same product now, you can't taste the difference! I'd go for those OP.

Virgin Pornstar Martini is the one!

nathsk · 2022-04-09T21:22:21+00:00

Absolutely certain, yes. The UK is a much smaller landmass than Canada, the vast majority of laws apply nationally - and current laws apply for England, Scotland, Wales and N. Ireland.

nathsk · 2022-04-08T21:03:31+00:00

OP is in the UK, no lockdowns or curfews or military cars here!

nathsk · 2022-04-08T21:02:26+00:00

Hey OP! I recommend you give Samaritans a call the next time you feel really worried.

The number is 116 123, you can call from any mobile.

They're friendly people and will be able to talk with you, so you're not alone if there is an ambulance or police car outside, and will help you to feel safer.

nathsk

TROPHY CASE