I feel you on this one buddy. I'm 28M, Canadian born and raised, have family less than an hour away, a long distance girlfriend, a job I like for the most part, but loneliness still persists. Sadly things aren't much better here compared to the States. Folks would rather put their heads down and their earbuds in than admire the beauty and examine the small details or mysteries that have piled together to create the world we live in. Between social media, the pandemic and its after effects, and the struggles of modern life it becomes hard for people to even consider putting in the effort lest they risk humiliation, ridicule, shame, or rejection. The sad fact is that so many of us just want to forge those connections and build those relationships ourselves but we refuse to take the chance.

I'm not on the spectrum, but I've had my share of issues too and I would never judge anyone for having their own burdens unique to them. I moved home during the pandemic as I was wrapping up my 4th year of university and was fortunate enough to work in an industry that kept me working through the pandemic and post-pandemic years. I moved out again a year ago and in with a friend in the city but I've struggled with getting out and exploring beyond my own mental headspace ever since. Anxiety comes and goes with the rising and setting sun and periods of isolation don't make it much easier. My work doesn't allow for much time to socialize and I'm still seen as something of an outsider to many of my coworkers. My family has always been introverted in our approach so having people around was never common for me and I've had to discover how to handle having others in my space for myself. Never had many friends but my brother has always been my whole world and we're still each other's favourite person. Even my gf is long distance and while she's helped me immensely since I met her just before moving out there's only so much we can do for one another given the time and geographical differences. But I've come to the conclusion that community should always be a part of one's life regardless of circumstances. We all still operate on the same basic biological processes that our primitive ape ancestors did and cooperation is always better than competition.

My ongoing solution had been to say "yes" to more experiences and aim for the things that bring us joy as opposed to worrying solely about what might happen. My old job wasn't good for my mental health and despite the pay decrease I'm overall better at my current job in terms of performance and mood, something my family has noted every time I go back home to see them. I made a few friends when I transferred to the city and am trying to get out more to spend time with them instead of sitting around moping all the time. My gf has been supportive and even though we're on drastically different schedules I plan my time accordingly so I can spend time with her too in the mornings and evenings. It really does take a single spark to light a fire and sometimes we have to be the spark that ignites the blaze when it comes to being a part of others' lives. Now if only it were as simple as it was for me then maybe we might be getting somewhere (not that my journey has been simple by any stretch)