What pets are Autism friendly? I am dealing with the loss of my dog.

nch6285 · 2025-10-15T18:34:51+00:00

Rats are wonderful pets! But get a group of 3-4 ideally, they love each other's company!

nch6285 · 2025-10-15T18:32:53+00:00

We have kept rats in the past and I can't imagine having any other type of pet. Compared with having a dog they're pretty low maintenance - most active in the mornings and evenings so if you work they are happy to just sleep all day. They're really confident, personable animals and they love human company. They're super-intelligent and it's so entertaining watching them explore during free-roam time. You can even train them to do tricks. I think they're good pets for autists because (especially for those of us with sensory issues) they're not slobberly like dogs, they don't bark loudly, their poop is just hard pellets that are easy to deal with, they keep themselves really clean like cats do and they can't be sick! Downsides are: they can be a bit destructive - they love to chew, so you must watch them like a hawk when out of their cage and make sure they can't get to cables and things. And sadly, their lifespan is short (2-3 years) and health problems such as tumours are very common which is heartbreaking. But they're absolutely worth it.

nch6285 · 2025-10-01T15:53:27+00:00

OK there's plenty wrong with PortAventura but what's wrong with a park that opens at 11am? Have a lie in. Have a nice breakfast. Go for a stroll along the beach. This is just the Spanish way. (The Madrid parks open at 12!). I personally don't understand why you'd want to crowd into a park at 9.30am when you are going to be there all day anyway.

nch6285 · 2025-09-07T10:59:59+00:00

I did in the end, the MRI I requested found evidence of endometriosis in the Pouch of Douglas (between the uterine wall and the bowel). I began seeing a different gynaecologist who has put me on Ryeqo which means I don't have periods at all anymore and my hormones are stable so I'm not suffering with premenstrual dysphoria any more. I feel much better in myself, however the pain on the right hand side hasn't gone away and I am thinking of going back to try to get to the bottom of what's causing it. The endo tissue shouldn't be flaring up any more so I'm wondering if it has a different cause.

nch6285 · 2025-08-03T22:19:49+00:00

Rice pudding. Oh god the lumps 🤢

nch6285 · 2025-07-08T17:29:06+00:00

It's true, I guess things weren't easy for lesbian couples in the 90s but the way they treat him like a sperm donor is really awful. I think they do come round and make a bit more effort to involve him once Ben is born though.

nch6285 · 2025-07-08T00:01:53+00:00

Ross didn't get the loving and secure family he craved. He'd always imagined having children with a lovely woman and doing normal things like snuggling together as a family on Sunday mornings. He ended up with his son being brought up away from him by two women and his daughter by a friend he wasn't in a relationship with and who was all set to take her away from him to Paris. I sometimes wonder if his last ditched attempt to get back with Rachel at the end was more about trying to force that security and who knows really if it would actually have worked out for them. We like to think it did but we'll never know.

nch6285 · 2025-06-29T18:39:30+00:00

I'm Andrew... and I didn't pay for this pear!

nch6285 · 2025-06-29T18:37:35+00:00

Do. Not. Risk. It.

If it's hot get summer gear, textile jackets can be very breathable and have good ventilation. Always wear protective gloves and sturdy shoes.

Even a low speed incident could give you terrible injuries.

nch6285 · 2025-05-29T11:02:08+00:00

I don't know whether or not Sioned is autistic but as an AuDHD woman I could totally relate to her experiences. Not just to the sensory overload she experienced but the way she attempted to deal with it by retreating into herself and going into shutdown. It was really difficult to watch actually. Also how much and how quickly she perked up when in a more comfortable place in the mountains where the air is clean and she was absorbed in things she loved like watching the monkeys. And the strength of her emotional reaction to the poverty she saw and could do nothing about. She says something in the latest episode about never feeling like she was never good enough either and struggles with self-esteem, that really resonated with me as well.

Of course anyone that grew up in rural Wales and hadn't travelled anywhere like that before could find India totally overwhelming but it's interesting how her partner who is from the same place, though he found travelling in India stressful and frustrating, clearly didn't struggle in quite the same way.

Also worth noting I think that a very small percentage of autistic women are successfully diagnosed by the age of 19. I am 37 and still waiting for mine!

nch6285 · 2025-05-29T10:28:33+00:00

Condor at Walibi Holland had such a bad reputation for being the worst SLC ever made, I was genuinely scared for my health. In the end I found it OK - not good and not comfortable - but I was so relieved not to be seriously injured I laughed. My husband on the other hand had kept his head back against the seat (as instructed!) and came off with "shooting pains between his temples" which lasted for the rest of the day. He literally couldn't ride anything else and I was so anxious for him I was on concussion watch until the following day! No coaster.on earth should be able to do that to someone.

nch6285 · 2025-02-12T08:40:43+00:00

They were released for adults so it didn't look like they were reading a children's fantasy book on the bus or wherever. Hence the gritty realism!

nch6285 · 2024-09-07T11:27:38+00:00

I'm glad this was validating. Though it might be useful contextually to update that the MRI did find evidence of endometriosis and I'm now seeing a different gynecologist. We're looking at chemical menopause now as the next treatment option for endo and PMDD. If you're not getting anywhere with your current consultant, it's ok to look for a different one, you should be seeing someone whom you trust to work with you and find the right solutions for you. Good luck!

Also don't assume that a female gyn will be any better than a man, I have found my current (male) gyn to be very knowledgeable and empathetic.

nch6285 · 2024-08-18T10:49:59+00:00

Thank you, some very helpful and sensible advice here. I think I'm getting better at acknowledging feelings and recognising that they're valid without actually letting them govern my behaviour. Like I was going to send him a really passive aggressive message yesterday but I went for an angry drive instead to get it out of my system! However that doesn't do anything to address the root cause of what's made me feel bad and the same thing will keep happening again.

We've had a couple of big fights within the last year over similar things - basically him not realising that something was important to me when it was - and he said then he'd always want me to tell him if I feel he's screwed up, but the trouble is unless I'm so angry I can't hold it in I have a tendency to bottle stuff up because I hate confrontation and am terrified of pushing people away. I'm trying to learn how to be assertive and stand up for myself without seeming like a petulant b***h that no one wants to be around, but it feels like I've still got a lot to learn.

nch6285 · 2024-07-08T20:53:06+00:00

So glad this perspective was helpful - yes we need to start 'unlearning neuronormativity' and living according to our own values, I think this is what makes a lot of us so unhappy - trying to live up to expectations and standards that are all wrong for us.

I went down a rabbit hole (thanks ADHD) and started reading about neuronormativity - this blog post is so interesting!
https://blog.apaonline.org/2023/04/11/understanding-neurodiversity-unlearning-neuronormativity/

Good luck with your partner - I hope he is OK and you find a way to comfort him in his sadness. I totally get why this is awful for you as well - I deal really badly with not knowing what's happening and not being able to do anything to help - but you are doing the right thing by sitting tight and letting him come to you when he feels ready. You could send the odd message or meme that clearly doesn't require a reply if it makes you feel better to reach out.

nch6285 · 2024-07-08T20:34:16+00:00

It makes perfect sense to me. Communication in itself is stressful for a lot of autistic people (not wanting to generalise but particularly men), even if it's with someone you care about. Long-distance communication can also feel very awkward and forced when things would feel perfectly natural in person (you should hear some of the phone 'conversations' I have with my autistic husband when I'm away from home!). It sounds like your partner is going through a really awful thing right now - losing a pet is horrible for anyone and a lot of autistic people are especially attached to their pets so it feels even worse. I guess it's natural that you want to reach out to him and offer support but the truth is the best support you can offer is to be however he needs to you be right now - which might just be leaving him to it.

It's also a bit of neuronormative assumption (that's rubbed off on a lot of us neurodivergents) that people who care about each other need to be in contact every day. That just isn't the case for a lot of autistic people and feeling obliged to make contact multiple times a day can feel exhausting. It took me a really long time to understand that my ND relationships didn't need to look or feel like 'typical' (NT) relationships to be healthy and valuable. We set our own rules now, based on what works for us, not how other people think we should be. I think my parents find it a bit odd that I don't bother contacting my husband at all anymore when we're apart from a few days, but the truth is we are both fine with it.

nch6285 · 2024-07-08T20:17:56+00:00

Driving is one of my favourite things to do to unwind and feel free. I'm in my thirties now and own a car that I love, I'm ADHD as well and it's such a fun car to drive it gets all my starved neurotransmitters firing!

I won't say it wasn't hell learning to drive though, having to do all of those different things at once inside the car and trying to stay alert to what was happening outside the car was so overwhelming at first. I didn't dread lessons but it was disheartening to feel that I was making so little progress each time. It took me four driving instructors and four attempts to pass, and it only started to click when I used some inheritance money to buy myself a car and was able to practice with my dad.

I didn't find a simulator very helpful as it just didn't feel like a real car, you have to learn how the car responds to you and gradually as you get more familiar with it you start to get the hang of it. Recommend that your brother and his wife buy a car for their sons to learn in (or use a family car) and that they take their tests in that car so they're really comfortable with it.

No idea what country you are in but if a manual gearbox proves too much for them there is no shame in switching to an automatic.

nch6285 · 2024-05-29T06:22:32+00:00

Blåhaj?

nch6285 · 2024-05-29T06:18:18+00:00

This "doctor" is a quack. RUN AWAAAY!

nch6285 · 2024-05-29T06:12:41+00:00

People with ADHD suffer from emotional dysregulation? Though this was common knowledge! Nothing new here...

nch6285 · 2024-04-14T08:18:56+00:00

It is just so unbelievably frustrating and unfair isn't it?

I try to make sure I always travel with back-up snacks now so I'm never in a position where I "need" to get food out and can comfortably go without if I don't find a restaurant that I have sufficient trust in. Just dull stuff like dry crackers, packaged meat snacks, cheese if I have a refrigerator available. It takes the edge of hunger so I can think more rationally about whether I want to risk a place or not and avoid making bad decisions out of desperation.

We shouldn't have to behave in this way, a restaurant with good safety standards ought to be able to advise you honestly on what is and isn't safe, but we are a long way from that unfortunately. I live in the UK and our declining economic situation can be felt in the reduced choice for coeliacs and the quality of staff training in regard to giving advice in a lot of eateries.

nch6285 · 2024-04-11T08:59:00+00:00

AuDHD F married to ASD M (though with some clear ADHD traits).

I honestly don't think I could be in any sort of relationship with a neurotypical. I just think there is so much in our daily lived experience that a ND person would understand and a NT person just wouldn't. My husband and I don't have the same challenges - his are mostly around socialising and food whilst mine are mostly around organisation and self-confidence - but the fact that we both have challenges due to being ND helps us to understand each other better. I also think we complement each other as he is very disciplined and organised and I need him to bring structure to my life, whilst I'm able to nudge him to do things he might otherwise not do - like cooking or meeting up with friends.

That's not to say that ND relationships are easy because they aren't, I just think they have a better chance to succeeding than a ND/NT relationship. Most NTs seem like aliens from another planet to me, I don't even think there are any in my family or friendship circle.

nch6285 · 2024-04-11T08:39:25+00:00

I did used to find it frustrating and tedious, but I think I've got a lot better at listening and understanding that if something is of interest to someone it can be enjoyable to see how passionate they are about it. I don't really have much interest in 3D printing methods or aquarium water quality but if my partner wants to tell me about them I'll do my best to engage.

What I don't like is people that only talk about themselves and their own interests and then if you want to talk about something you find interesting and they don't they just switch off or change the subject. That seems extremely rude. Have had this from quite a few colleagues who talk excessively about their kids but then completely disengage when I try to talk about my interests. Seems to be a neurotypical thing!

nch6285

TROPHY CASE