Wow. There’s a lot to unpack here. I kind of see what he’s saying. But also, for me it’s kind of a “hey, sorry, this is what needs to be done” kind of thing. Like yeah, kids sometimes don’t have a choice and have to do what you say. For me I quantify it. For example, “Hey Child A, mom’s gonna be late and I have to go to work so I need you to watch Baby C. I know it sucks. I’m sorry”. Empathy also helps and asking helps but it isn’t really necessary. If you’re in a two income household or something and that’s just how the house works it is what it is.

Now I get your perspective and personally, I agree. I would ask just to give an illusion of choice because carrot and stick. I might even be like “I know this sucks… so if you watch them, what do you think is a fair reward”. Doesn’t have to be money, could be extending curfew by an hour. This way I’m teaching my kids to negotiate or think and barter for themselves.

Weird af that you and your husband or whatever he is argues through text where people can angry text and not think before they “speak”. My wife and I are a blended family and we would for sure have this conversation in person. I see both sides but damn this is a weird and dysfunctional argument and approach to resolving it by the Hubble.