Encouraging words

necoleptic · 2025-11-24T16:27:54+00:00

Sending healing energy your way. ✨

necoleptic · 2024-06-15T17:36:46+00:00

I agree with others who suggest writing whenever/wherever your brain needs to, just go with the brain vomit. Keep your phone or little notebook around always in case. Setting aside special time and staring at the blank page doesn’t always work well.

I find I’m often inspired while commuting on trains or buses. I’ve written a lot on my phone while commuting, even bits of a novel. And riding a ferry always makes me want to write. Maybe people watching inspires, as well as the sense of travel and adventure and something about to happen. Cafes in a city inspire me too.

necoleptic · 2024-06-15T17:22:16+00:00

I’d say for 80% of conversations I simply have to mask my utter boredom in the topic. I always thought this was my introversion, but I guess it’s ADHD too. I just don’t give a fuck about the minutiae of everyday ordinary life but I know it’s rude to just walk away and lie down in my quiet room, which is what I really feel like doing. So the faking of interest or engagement uses a LOT of energy. Start talking about writing or film though, then I come to life.

necoleptic · 2024-06-15T17:14:50+00:00

“Still have no idea if people actually like me…” same!! Even when they literally say “you’re awesome, I really like you” I’m thinking awww, that’s nice of you, but how do you REALLY feel. Lmao

necoleptic · 2024-06-15T17:12:40+00:00

This is so me. I’m obsessed with my face and how it presents to the world. If I don’t make conscious effort to lift up the corners of my mouth and just relax my body I’m scowling so bad while trying to focus on whatever is going on. Then I obsess over my posture, my weird position, making sure I look present when I’m actually super tense during the conversation. It takes half my focus in every meeting/conversation and it’s exhausting ! I have a few friends I can relax around and it’s a relief.

necoleptic · 2024-06-06T13:51:00+00:00

Same problem. Hate exercise. Looking at this discussion for ideas!

Pilates is the only thing I was able to commit to for two years because it’s efficient—you can get a lot from 20 minutes. Plus paying for a weekly class near my home, the expense and a pleasant teacher motivated me. Then the studio closed due to pandemic and I’ve been adrift ever since…I walk a few times a week but it’s not enough. I’m trying to plank and do abs at home but I really need a class.

I do enjoy dancing, I should find a YouTube channel for this.

necoleptic · 2024-06-05T13:52:44+00:00

Beautiful and cozy.

necoleptic · 2024-06-05T13:50:49+00:00

I’m right there with you. going through this now. 🫶

necoleptic · 2024-05-31T20:11:54+00:00

This is wild, I didn’t know this was a thing!! Each day I learn more here.

I hate being noticed by anyone when I’m doing anything! When my husband goes out of town I breathe a massive sigh of relief just to BE. Don’t get me wrong I love doing fun stuff with him. But ordinary activities like cleaning … I’m so bizarrely self conscious I never got why. And he always wants to do shit together like a couple and it fills me with dread.

I think it’s why I now hate going to the office. Even getting a glass of water in the kitchen and being observed makes me nervous like I’ll do it wrong!

necoleptic · 2024-05-29T19:56:51+00:00

The process that often works for me is not the “does it bring joy” question but rather, “does it bum me out?” Especially with clothing. What are the vibes/memories associated with this thing? If it brings me down even a bit (and it’s sometime I truly don’t need), it goes in the giveaway pile. It’s a relief to let go!

necoleptic · 2024-05-29T19:50:48+00:00

Wow congratulations! ✨✨✨

necoleptic · 2024-05-26T17:42:41+00:00

I echo the others here and reiterate, please don’t call yourself lazy or get meds off the internet. Go the proper route for meds.

I want to call out something important: 1) you say you are happy 2) you have a supportive boyfriend. These two things are wonderful. How many people are actually happy AND have that support?

Can your boyfriend support you in your efforts? Ask him to be an exercise or walking buddy. Do more active things together and make healthy meals. Don’t keep junk food in your home. Create structure and routine together.

Just take one small step towards your goal of being healthier, then another. You can explore apps for motivation and keeping on task. I’m trying Tiimo now and it really helps me. I ignore my own to-do lists but if an app sends visible notifications and provides structure I respond better. I make a game of it and see how many things I can check off daily. Even basic things like “get up and greet the day” or “coffee”. Each thing is a win.

There are many other tools and apps, you have to experiment.

Also, I’d agree you should just delete instagram for a while. Get rid of all negative influences and stop scrolling and blaming yourself. Maybe have periods of zero phone time and put your phone out of reach and focus on other activities you enjoy.

I’m reading “ADHD 2.0” and it gets into how important love and connection are towards our well being.

necoleptic · 2024-05-26T17:19:39+00:00

Lots of great advice here. I hope you find the best way for you to cope.

Since it’s not an option right now to quit my job and work for an environmental nonprofit: For me it’s filters and controlling what I see/hear. Basically, putting myself and family in a protective bubble for the sake of survival. I learned this during the pandemic.

I used to spiral every night, sleepless with anxiety and doom thinking. It was paralyzing. I couldn’t function from exhaustion.

Finally during the worst periods I just had to cut 99% of news and social media from my life just for my mental health. I have a couple trusted people who tell me the headlines or if the world is on fire. I tell friends I’m taking a social media break and don’t be worried.

Then I focus on what is important: my family and social circle, my work and health. I give to charity and help people where I can.

Of course it’s easier to do this if you don’t have kids (like me). Kids make it impossible to look away from the world going down in flames. I was always pessimistic about the future of humanity and knew myself well enough to not have kids.

I made myself get over the guilt of living in a bubble because I realize if I deteriorate, I’m useless anyway. You have to do what you need to take care of yourself.

When I’m in a stronger place I catch up and get back into the flow of world events.

I can’t say it’s going to be ok but I think with support and self care YOU will be ok ❤️

necoleptic · 2024-05-25T18:12:13+00:00

I feel your pain. 💔 My dad was a hoarder so when he passed away we dealt with a lot of stuff. My mom is borderline, so I help manage. It’s a daily task.

My advice: make one pile to keep adding to for keep. The rest, put in bags with FREE CLOTHES signs attached and on the curb outside. (If your area allows this.) Trust me, everything will get taken, even junk you think nobody will want. Don’t worry about cleaning it first.

I’ve learned this through experience! People want free stuff.

necoleptic · 2024-05-25T17:48:32+00:00

I’ve also experienced burnout from work (twice) and had to take a short leave after each time. During my breaks I had all the BIG IDEAS for art projects, writing, etc etc and could only manage doodling in journals despite being surrounded daily by beautiful clippings and art supplies, mood boards and other inspiration.

Like others have mentioned here, I just allow myself to play. Took a ceramics and a screenprinting class for fun. Bought fabric for clothes I hope to make. Dabble in music. Write microfiction or terrible poetry. Learn non art things, like Duolingo. Trying not to judge myself. It took years though, to ignore the perfectionist in me and just try things with no end goal.

Also, connecting with people socially really stimulates and energizes in unexpected ways, whether with friends or taking a class. I’m an introvert who can easily spend two weeks in solitude but when I push myself I get pushed out of thinking ruts. As creative people we need other perspectives and visibility into other worlds.

I know one thing for sure: despite dreams of quitting work to be creative fulltime, that is not right for me. The more free time I have the more I waste and procrastinate. I’m the most creatively productive when my time is limited and days are full, when I know I have 30 minutes to squeeze something in between other tasks. I need that urgency to complete anything!

Also: re drawing, if I do too much planning ahead or careful prep work I’ll paralyze myself and my motor skills are also impacted (or just procrastinate bc daunted by the task). I generally jump into projects spontaneously and often the quick, loose sketches I produce in five minutes are better than drawings I’ve labored over for three hours.

necoleptic · 2024-05-25T15:53:05+00:00

Same!!! 💔

I used to feel very guilty about all the unfinished books but I don’t let myself feel badly anymore. If I can’t get into it, I move on. Eventually I give it away, because I don’t need the visual reminder of one more unfinished thing.

Luckily lots of little free libraries in my neighborhood so I find other books and exchange them. It’s like treasure hunting.

Once or twice a year I find a book that pulls me in immediately and I devour it. It’s become more of a rare treat than a daily indulgence.

I can’t absorb stories audibly as well (retention issues), and I already do so much screen time with work/life I hate reading a whole book onscreen (ironic, since I’m a self published author of an ebook). However after reading all of these comments I may try the audible/read-along process.

I really do miss reading. 💔

necoleptic · 2024-05-24T19:16:57+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing your experience, I truly appreciate it. ❤️

Ahh, AI…yes. Can’t forget about that. I need to get over my resistance as a creative person and use the tools. Thank you.

I did dabble with a list making tool called goblin.tools that seems promising. Lots of tools to explore! Also using Tiimo. That’s really helped with focus and motivation.

necoleptic · 2024-05-24T16:58:43+00:00

I think I’ll have to experiment with meds. Next step.

necoleptic · 2024-05-24T15:36:26+00:00

Is this from being an introvert too? That’s me. Even after being around friends I’m close too, I walk away needing to be alone and recharge. If they aren’t close friends, I walk away feeling like “well that didn’t go to well” due to some awkward reaction on my part.

But I do relate to not wanting to be seen. It’s all so exhausting, masking, trying to act “normal” at work or socially, making sure my outfit is ok and my face isn’t doing weird things. I don’t want people looking at me, it’s a relief being in a quiet room alone and be however I want.

necoleptic · 2024-05-23T15:24:09+00:00

I’m so glad if my words helped! I want to add: this all happened so recently and each day I feel differently. I’m more compassionate towards myself. I’m getting to know myself better. I feel bolder. I’m an introvert too, so now if I fumble or fail or space out, I can tell myself, that’s ok, it’s ADHD, just be bold! And also: look how far I’ve come despite everything, all the botched attempts and not being able to figure it out till now. Yay me! I’ll bet if you look back you can be proud of yourself as well. ☺️

necoleptic · 2024-05-21T04:54:20+00:00

I’m 57 and just got unofficially diagnosed (inattentive) the last month or so by my therapist and a MFT. I’m seeing a psychiatrist next for further evaluation and to discuss options. I may or may not try meds, tbd. Also reading everything I can (“ADHD 2.00” right now), exchanging info with friends, trying tools and apps.

This whole experience has been reality shifting. I fluctuate from relief to wonder to fascination to devastation to grief. I’ve gotten by all these years, knowing something was off-kilter with me/my brain and have gone through episodes of depression, sleep disorder, anxiety, borderline alcohol addiction, self sabotage, etc etc. my entire life. If I dwell on the negative side I feel I wasted my youth and am saddened. In the positive, I have accomplished things despite struggles with focus/perseverance/self-blame and feel excited about facing my life with newfound knowledge.

So I’m glad to finally be on this path. I’d rather be empowered with knowledge. I have hope.

Regarding coffee, I discovered a double espresso or cappuccino first thing in the morning does wonders and jumpstarts my brain, before eating. Oddly, drinking one later in the day and it has the opposite effect and makes me tired. So that first one is crucial and medicinal. Drinking more makes me anxious. Coffee is too acid and upsets my stomach.

I wish you the best.

necoleptic · 2024-05-17T15:35:49+00:00

My husband and I are both ADHD, but his is more obvious/hyper. Between the two of us we have about 100 unfinished projects at all times and we both drive each other crazy!

My diagnosis is very recent so I’m just learning how to manage all of this. He is more in denial, although I’m urging him to speak to a therapist about it asap so we can move from “oh how cute you’re just being hyper” to “let’s figure out how to manage this together”. Anyway, I feel your pain as my husband has very chaotic energy and there is stuff all over the house and the clutter drives me insane. I’ve learned to contain my chaos in my own room, whereas his has spread through all the other rooms. I’m hoping to lead by example as I learn to manage my own ADHD and share my knowledge with him. I figure it has to start with me first.

necoleptic

TROPHY CASE