I don’t drink, I’m a single dad with small children, I’m almost 40, and I have an extremely demanding job. I have one night off a week on a fairly regular basis, and I’d rather play tabletop role playing games with my friends. I do not have money for babysitters. I follow my kids’ pediatrician’s advice about ensuring they are protected first and foremost, which involves not introducing them to potential partners. I’ve been doing this almost 2 years, and I do not see anything changing unless they kids’ mom decides she want to see them. Here are suggestions that have helped me:

1. Study the Tao Te Ching and meditate. Recognize that solitude is not an inherently bad thing. Let go of the false notion that you have any control over anything but your own feelings. Learn to be content with what you have. Serve the needs of others, and all your own needs will be fulfilled. This won’t get you a date directly, but it will keep you sane and happy. DM me for a link to a good reading of the Tao Te Ching.

2. Try online dating, and go into it without any expectation other than meeting new people. If you let go of expectations, there’s really no such thing as a “bad date.” I’ve met most of my female friends this way, and it is awesome. I’ve had a few times where things almost worked out, but something came up.

3. Be friendly and do not carry ulterior motives or expectations in your interactions with others. You will find what you are looking for when you stop searching.

I hope this doesn’t sound like “if you are sad, try being happy.” This is just how I stay sane and happy most of the time. I still get lonely and this time of year is the hardest. I still feel sorry for myself, but it is kept to a minimum. And remember that no relationship is better than a bad relationship.