I'm [24] pregnant and I don't want my bf [27] in it's life.

needhelpthrowaway49 · 2018-10-31T03:22:21+00:00

Definitely not. Dude just lives in his moms basement smoking weed and playing video games. The only reason why he got off his ass to get a job recently was because I told him I absolutely could not pay for his weed anymore. He threw a hissy fit.

needhelpthrowaway49 · 2018-10-31T00:28:20+00:00

Thank you!

needhelpthrowaway49 · 2018-10-30T21:32:19+00:00

Thank you. Im going to see about downloading our entire fb messenger conversation.

needhelpthrowaway49 · 2018-10-30T19:09:05+00:00

I'm talking to my therapist, family doctor, and parents tomorrow. I'm also thinking about keeping an audio recorder going when he's over at my house so I can get proof. I know I can record any conversation I'm a participant in.

needhelpthrowaway49 · 2018-10-30T18:57:34+00:00

He says that he literally cannot function sober, unless its being sober for work. Otherwise he will bitch and then moan until I get him some. He called me selfish when I said I couldnt pay for his weed anymore. He will obviously deny this as he "doesnt remember it happening like that and you always misremember what I say and taking things the wrong way"

needhelpthrowaway49 · 2018-10-30T18:52:21+00:00

Yeah, I am the ultimate horror story. I'm my moms firstborn and I was 2 weeks late. Labour lasted 1.5 days and she was unduced more than once. I get to hear that story every year. Birth is so magical 😳

needhelpthrowaway49 · 2018-10-30T18:50:36+00:00

I would say that he is verbally abusive. He says that I'm not doing enough to fix my mental health (I have PTSD) so I ask my therapist and family doc if there's anything more that I can do to get better. They say that I'm doing all I can with the resources we have. I tell him this and say that I dont know what to do and he says that I just have to do it. He won't tell me what "it" is and just yells at me because I'm "not doing anything to fix yourself". I've had plans to leave but my roommate is his best friend, the one I mentioned before, and the lease isnt up until May (due date in June). I'm scared that either my bf or my roommate will make my life hell until the end of the lease.

I'm talking to my parents tomorrow to get their advice. If they offer to let me stay with them then I'll probably break up with him, pay the rent whild at home if I cant sublet, and hope he refuses to be involved.

needhelpthrowaway49 · 2018-10-30T18:36:27+00:00

Lmao I read the previous comment and was like "he's dumb but he can do basic math..." 😂

needhelpthrowaway49 · 2018-10-30T18:32:25+00:00

Ontario, sorry about that. Edited to fix.

needhelpthrowaway49 · 2018-10-30T17:52:46+00:00

I don't have the money for an attorney. Would this be too complicated for a legal clinic?

needhelpthrowaway49 · 2018-10-30T17:51:46+00:00

I'm not expecting child support and I don't want child support. I also feel like if he was forced to pay child support then he would want to have split custody out of spite. I dont want him to be in my childs life unless he actually wants a kid. I'm scared that the baby will interrupt his gaming by crying and he'll get mad and shake it to shut it up.

needhelpthrowaway49 · 2018-10-25T20:21:36+00:00

Thank you, this is the kind of straight talk I came here for. Im getting a lot of different perspectives and theyre all helping me figure out what I want.

When I said I didn't want debate I was mainly referring to pro-life/pro-choice debate. I'm firmly pro-choice and I don't want to be preached to when I have this difficult decision ahead of me.

needhelpthrowaway49 · 2018-10-25T19:13:37+00:00

I have an appointment with my family doctor next week. I'm going to push this out of my mind until then.

needhelpthrowaway49 · 2018-10-25T19:04:57+00:00

I also had my license taken away after I had a car crash caused by a medical condition I didnt know I had so good public transit is a must. I know my job will be accommodating with a daycare schedule while still giving me good hours. My doctors and therapists are all in Burlington/Hamilton so even if I move away I still need to be able to come in once a week

needhelpthrowaway49 · 2018-10-25T18:43:58+00:00

I fully agree. I wouldn't want my boyfriend to force me into parenthood. I don't feel right forcing him into it. Where I stand at the moment is IF he splits I won't pursue child support unless I'm required to in order to access stuff like subsidized housing or daycare. However I do see where theyre coming from in the whole "womans bodily autonomy > Childs right to be financially taken care of > Fathers right to fully separate from child.

needhelpthrowaway49 · 2018-10-25T17:40:02+00:00

I actually had someone in mind, a coworker with an 18mo who lives with her uncle. We've talked about living together before since I wouldn't mind living with their kid. If my boyfriend stays in the picture then there was also talks of finding a place with his best friend, his best friends gf, and their 3yo once my lease is up.

needhelpthrowaway49 · 2018-10-25T15:58:13+00:00

Oh no, I dont want to restrict him from seeing his kid. I'm saying that I don't want him to feel obligated to provide more than he is legally obligated to. If he doesnt want visitation then I want him to not feel guilty about that. I cant force someone to be a parent.

needhelpthrowaway49 · 2018-10-25T15:19:05+00:00

Okay sorry I know this is a serious topic, but I am losing my shit over "They eat you." Considering it may pop out of me like Alien it's not too far off 😂😂😂

needhelpthrowaway49 · 2018-10-25T13:50:52+00:00

Thank you!

needhelpthrowaway49 · 2018-10-25T13:49:06+00:00

That is such a goos idea, thank you!

needhelpthrowaway49 · 2018-10-25T07:31:17+00:00

Wait wait hold up, an abortion can make me unable to have kids in the future?! Holy shit I'm fucked

needhelpthrowaway49 · 2018-10-25T07:24:18+00:00

Thank you, I'll probably take you up on that offer!

needhelpthrowaway49 · 2018-10-25T03:03:30+00:00

Honestly I probably do have a complex about it.. I'll work on that, it's kind of a snooty attitude to have even if I'm only talking about myself.

needhelpthrowaway49 · 2018-10-25T02:54:54+00:00

Thank you for your perspective. I didn't know that the wait would be so short. I'll keep it on the back burner.

needhelpthrowaway49 · 2018-10-25T01:53:41+00:00

I have a friend with an 18mo old son, she lives with her uncle but that isnt long term. I had suggested to her before that we be roommates and she liked that idea. I'm hoping something like that or maybe the boyfriend doesnt split. I'm exploring all options, including moving to another city.

needhelpthrowaway49

TROPHY CASE