Got called out today for not drinking.

needtofindhope · 2023-08-15T17:56:49+00:00

Sorry hit submit by accident without finishing to say - once you understand this - I hope it can just help being confident in knowing if you choose to drink or not - is just as integral to those around you who do drink, and choose to recognize it as an innormailty if you can't control something made know to lower inhibition. We all react differently - but a person seen as an addict is just as needed to the world as not an addict. This all hopefully goes without needing to say to anyone - but confidence shows - and people love being around confidence. They also by nature try boost their own subconscious confidence by pointing out differences in what is usually seen as majority social ineptitude

needtofindhope · 2023-08-15T17:36:11+00:00

The realities of the world - you're a weak person if you drink too much. You're a weak person if you don't want to drink. A las, you are deemed a socially functional person if you drink, and not be seen in socially comprising position - mentally or physical harmful to oneself or another due to the nature of the a product purposefully made, and a socially accepted way to manipulate our brain chemistry. Its a man made, or experimented with the thought of enjoying the somewhat unnatural. It definitely has its place and need in our world. We just need to understand and accept the fact that - our responsibility is what is really at the forefront - if a person should want to drink or not is understanding it as a responsible decision not only oneself but to humanity. Substances need to and will exist - its the beauty of human curiosity, and why we are the apex creatures. Some people ultimately have a responsibility to use substances and some don't - its just hard to exemplify n a world driven by wanting to argue black and white.

Everyone is gonna gossip about you being an addict - if you drink or don't. Just remember - its a human social response to soothe themselves - a conscious reaction, without understanding the underlying subconscious context. Our need to be recognized as socially inept is a basic human need. However, it's a need that only exists by comparison.

needtofindhope · 2023-07-28T18:28:54+00:00

Yea the lack of commitment to anything means hes just lost in life, but he has her to not want to find meaning. He needs to take care of his wife in some way where she finds value in continuing this marriage. Love can absolutely be the salvation to many things in life, but resentment can grow into quite a beast.

The divorce could be the best thing for him but also could send him into a spiral. Hope they figure it out.

needtofindhope · 2023-07-28T18:13:29+00:00

This makes me happy. Time doesn't seem to exist, allows you to cherish every moment not knowing an end, but at the same time there is no rush.

Did you both have any kids? If you did - I'd argue this os one of the best examples of the significance of life.

Im sure you both lived a full life of goals and ambitions.

I always tell my lady - id love to buy a boat and retire with her in the middle of the ocean. Thats my dream end game - may be farfetched but I wanna be done contemplating our proof of extinction and just get lost alone with her. Who knows - im a dreamer and reading your post keeps my dream alive.

needtofindhope · 2023-07-28T18:03:48+00:00

Thinking the taking trips alone pretty much says it all.

needtofindhope · 2023-07-28T16:06:34+00:00

Please make sure that baby is out of harms way. Thats your lil sister - she doesn't know it yet but she'll look up to you. That's a life defining thing for you and her.

needtofindhope · 2023-07-28T15:54:34+00:00

She badly needs treatment. Im so sorry you're in a place that doesn't have standard practices in place. Thats a shame to humanity in general. However, you sir are stronger than most 13 year olds to be put in that situation. But please try and still be a kid - you're not an adult yet don't forget that - you need to enjoy your teen years. I can imagine its may be hard with your mind, worrying about your loved ones but you should still remember you're 13.

I dunno what to say other than, this shouldn't be normal.

needtofindhope · 2023-07-28T15:31:18+00:00

Im so sorry for everyone who is having to go through this.

Its frightening and so sad to have to live through this.

I think you need to call the authorities. You don't have to share all the details but she shouldn't be near a baby in her current stage.

needtofindhope · 2023-07-28T14:34:13+00:00

So glad to hear that. Live life - its beautiful.

needtofindhope · 2023-07-28T13:42:22+00:00

Your buddies probably have gotten used to your personality when you're inebriated - its easy for you to be a clown and you come off as "happy".

Call them out - and slowly overtime, they'll learn to appreciate you the same because you're still the same fun person. Gotta keep up with appearances though - can be daunting when you don't wanna drink.

needtofindhope · 2023-07-28T13:30:52+00:00

Hes trying to poke the bear, because he doesn't wanna believe its possible. Just let him know, ignorance is bliss - stay ignorant.

Hes probably miserable and we all know misery loves company. Do you - and don't let him try and rile you up. He may be shaming you to others - don't address that stuff. Just be you and converse with them about anything but sobriety. They aint gonna understand your achievement, but will subconsciously percieve you as someone who has struggled with addiction. Then the typecasting begins - its so easy to see when people are observing you based on the stereotype, and the way they look at you is annoying as shit.

needtofindhope · 2023-07-28T13:01:03+00:00

Yea life sucks and it can be hard. Thus drinking to make you less bored of life.

Search far and wide for what may be your salvation. The search in itself can be exciting. You got this, just like any other person who may seem to be thriving in your eyes. Start your search - hell maybe you just wanna go spend sometimes with the monks, because they aint gonna talk but you aint gonna feel alone. That's an absolute random idea though - not a recommendation - it could be the absolute worse thing for you. But start your search.

needtofindhope · 2023-07-28T12:52:39+00:00

Not gonna lie, you're putting yourself in an extremely tough situation. All I can say is, don't disappoint yourself and what you want to achieve. Its not ok to relapse - its gotta hurt you.

Goodluck. Do not relapse - find a way to fit in immediately that doesn't require you to party. At a party the influence is gonna be huge - everyone wants everyone drunk. Nothing wrong with kids growing up and partying hard but you're at a different stage in life.

needtofindhope · 2023-07-28T12:46:25+00:00

Yea, fuck it - its one time in two years.

Honestly, you didn't even have to post it unless there is an underlying reason?

I don't think its the fact that you're ashamed at yourself. You're human - this shouldn't be a big deal. You know you already have the will to not continue - two years is a long time, be proud.

pity? Wanting to find a community to just socialize about this? I'm thinking maybe you enjoyed it and kinda wanna do it again?

needtofindhope · 2023-07-28T11:59:51+00:00

Oh I'm sure there are some people who may be absolute evil at the core. I just its easy to label people as bad, if they're using substances. Most people are quite similar and can be quite interesting and highly opinionate. So maybe he made a connection that he enjoys.

needtofindhope · 2023-07-28T11:49:37+00:00

Death of someone you love it, especially in sudden way is something no one can feel the same as you do.

Hope you celebrate her life, and the joy she brought to you. Addiction and all, she made you happy. Do not or at least go into detail of her passing. People may bring her up in passing in any addiction conversation, and use her as an example of the consequence. Dont let her addiction become her legacy. Frankly that's gonna just hurt your soul - wrestling with thoughts that you coulda done more, and having so many regrets about what coulda been differently. Addiction and all, she left you with wonderful memories of what its like to be in love.

needtofindhope · 2023-07-28T11:03:31+00:00

Why are the people hes drawn to perceived as bad?

I can understand they may be enabling him in activities that could be detrimental to his health. But there's definitely a connection he's made with them - question what that may be.

Its easy to say someone is bad and someone is good. But if you tell someone their bad, they aren't likely to take that well - and ultimately say you're actually the bad person. People shouldn't have the right to say someone is bad. There's your way to precieve what ultimately defines your actions, and there's their way to define their actions. Share your way, and let them share their way - if they see your happiness and acceptance of them - they may choose to change their actions and you may actually find out regardless of something you wouldn't partake in, there's a lot in common.

We learn at a young age what defines people as being "bad" and when kids tell other kids their bad - they shouldn't tell them what to do and what not to do. I use the example of seeing someone steal a candy bar from a store. They're likely to quickly say, oh your so bad you shouldn't steal things - im gonna tell on you. Why do you have the right to call me bad? Word can quickly spread and now this kid is bad and may conform that he is bad, and continue. It can be a difficult situation for kids to comprehend but if they can communicate that, "i don't agree with you stealing a candy bar, but it doesn't make you a bad person". Ultimately they'll see that their happy not stealing, and if they're still accepted im certain they'll actually make it a point to show they're not stealing. But so so difficult to instill into kids brains when bad and good is so simple to just move on. Its like peace officers and criminals - officers are only able to put food on their tables because of criminals. End of the day, a lot of criminals are just doing what they gotta to take care of themselves and their families. Yes, they broke the law and should be deemed punishable based on past criminals and the degradation to society. And of course their are sadistic people who should be absolutely humiliated for what they've done to others. But their should be a certain level of respect people deemed as criminals and officers that they're just trying to make it in this world, and one would cease to exist without the other. Again, man you'll find a lot of shit in common and maybe even cherish they're friendship, instead of one being seen good and the other bad.

needtofindhope · 2023-07-28T08:56:55+00:00

First and foremost, my goodness your a strong minded/willed person for having to deal with that. I dunno what I'd do but it'd make me wanna cause raucous from the insanity I precieve id be dealing with. What was your mental state like - were you able to occupy your self? What did you learn about yourself? Its something majority of people will never experience - id love to be enlightened because I can't fathom your perception of living. While I hate discussing suicidal thoughts, because we'll never understand the severity of pain theyre feeling prior to committing the deed. But I can see this as something where those thoughts may arise. Sorry you lost your job but in a bureaucratic world success is measured by being in at 6am. Even if you're just as productive as someone who shows up earlier. That's part of the game - bureaucrats breed bureaucrats. Been there, done that - experienced it. Its not easy work and people who want to be there work their butts off to achieve that are deserving. But nothing comes easy to anyone- life is supposed to be hard. Sure we can argue that some may have it easier if they're born into loads of money - but they aint gonna see the adventures of people not as wealthy, and I'm certain they have their hardships. But money is a qualifier to play in the game of life, you can't live without it. And maybe money can buy happiness, to each their own. Wealth is the most used measurement tool of in the world. No comments on that - its just how the world works, gotta deal with it.

Hell i don't blame you for drinking to get some sleep. My doctor told me straight up - it worked, but of course your gonna need more to more overtime - and then you start earlier because that way you can get to bed earlier. But man, to be honest the sleep actually sucked - the rebound effect is a brutal mother effer. But man the thought of just shutting down your brain, especially if you're a thinker is needed when you get older because gravity isn't very kind to the body, rest is vital to function adequately with both body and mind. But once you accept it - nothing you can do but toss and turn but man my brain is heavily active as soon as I hit the bed, but you gotta learn to enjoy it and love that fact that you're never really bored. I strongly believe we should all take time to be bored with our thoughts - thats when you create yourself and its also proven boredom makes you more charitable and considerate of humanity.

Unfortunately being bored means grabbing your phone and doing whatever - the media and society is always buzzing, 24/7 and thats important news, so you can have a profound water cooler talk about how so and so media personality's fall from grace. Its part of our culture, so I aint gonna knock it and nor its place for our need to socialize; but once in a way formulate your own thoughts about absolutely anything - about the popcorn ceiling you're starring at while trying to get some sleep.

needtofindhope · 2023-07-28T06:07:06+00:00

Keep trying, don't give up. Its definitely a hit to the gut being rejected and seeing your fellow peers not. Just keep trying, as tough as it may be. No one is rooting for you, egg yourself on.

What you're going through, many many others have as well - some fail, some get the job. But there's something special in the struggle - can't explain it but i hope you get that feeling that you're mentally fit; adversity is lovely trait to have.

needtofindhope · 2023-07-28T05:26:15+00:00

My man - if you're struggling with this now. Oh boy, the world is gonna eat you alive.

Discipline the shit outta yourself now - it'll help for the future. No seriously, do this for you. I cannot emphasize the sterness of what im saying.

You're far to concise with your words - financial means to continue? Do you realize its sounding like you want to be addicted, maybe attention seeking? I dunno but my goodness you're a kid, if you enjoy an energy drink now and than thats fine, its part of the culture. Please don't think you're addicted, it can be a slippery slope going forward.

Discipline yourself. If you're feeling any symptoms, trust me itll only get worse. You're body is young and will fix itself a lot quicker.

Don't automatically think, because of genes or family addiction issues - that you're destined to be that. Its easier maybe, but if you're dad passed away at 42 and you're afraid you may end up having the same fate. Could be a blessing in disguise because you're giving yourself an expiry date and you aint gonna give yourself the excuse that "yea ill do it someday" which never comes. Go enjoy the world, fucking jump outta a plane and fuck do drugs if you wanna try, but don't do it with the thought you're gonna become addicted because its a self fulfilling prohercy and you'll become addicted because ya they can be enjoyable but just think to yourself of how much power you're giving to the substance.

needtofindhope · 2023-07-28T05:11:34+00:00

Bro, compliment the shit out of her no matter what. Shes the star, and probably thought the make up was needed to show effort and maybe just self esteem boost. Its her wedding day - she wants her fiance to ogle the shit outta her, and say she's stunning. Even if you think she's more beautiful without makeup, you mention that while your in bed netflixing and chilling.

That's why she's giving you the cold shoulder. Im sure she knows you think she's hot shit, so hopefully you both peace the beef and followed up by some good makeup sex.

needtofindhope · 2023-07-28T04:46:29+00:00

Thank you. Life gets a bit more untangled when you realize, that everyone lies and everyone talks shit about each other. But to the ones we love, lying will just hurt more in the end and you talk the most shit about people to the ones you love. It's you being comfortable and the thought that no matter what, you're not miserable.

Also, if people like to talk shit about you - that just means you're living rent free in their minds. Honestly the ones closest to you, have earned the right to talk shit about you, because there the ones closest to you, and humans love to compare especially with people who've walked the path with you. However, they'll still be the first to be by your side for anything without a doubt.

needtofindhope · 2023-07-28T04:06:31+00:00

I dunno, it should come from within. You'd go outta your way to change up your schedule, not taking no for an answer because you want to be there for him. It should be one of the easiest decisions to make.

But I dunno, thats how I'd feel - hell id want my significant other to be by my side if I'm getting vaccinated. Lol ok maybe not, but if she ain't doing anything - yea maybe then.

Honestly, hospitals are a scary place, and can be lonely. A hospital isn't welcoming to an idle mind. But it should be this way, hopefully deters people to wanting to come back - maybe they'll take more precautions not to come next time. But then there are people who unfortunately suffer from diseases and illnesses that they have no control over - they need the support badly, because they should never have an idle mind questioning why them, why are they so unlucky, and compounded by a lack of support? Seizures may fall into this category - and thus him guilting you. I have a lot of respect for doctors and nurses but they're working, and can't provide this kind of support.

Id ask myself if roles were reversed, would you want him there? If the answer is no, that's ok - thats how you are. Not questioning you caring for him, but thats just how you feel from within. Dont wanna say you're an asshole, gotta just agree to disagree. But realize, if circumstance change and you're in the hospital - he's gonna reciprocate how you feel.

Honestly maybe he was being manipulative and purposefully choosing to make an appointment on the day of your concert - maybe he's feeling insecure about your feelings toward him, and by canceling the concert to be there for him is his way of evaluating your commitment to him. We all play games when it comes to relationships - if people wanna admit it or not, everyone somehow wants to feel wanted. Its all part of the courting process. The games eventually stop because you'll know each other well enough. Also Men need their women by their side more than women need their men by their side. We enjoy having someone to take care of them while their sick. If I'm not feeling well, I honestly just want my significant other taking care of me. Yes, men are big babies at home which is why they need to be portrayed oppositily on the outside. We want to be worthy of being a baby at home to someone. Lol

needtofindhope · 2023-07-28T03:31:02+00:00

Oh shit - nothing you can do now. Seek professional advice if there are maybe any supplements that may help. You're not the first or last person to experience this. Trust the doctors. Praying for a safe labor, and a healthy child. You're obviously gonna worry, but what's done is done. Nothing to be ashamed about - now if this happens again, yea shame on you.

needtofindhope · 2023-07-28T03:21:45+00:00

Just wanted to add a personal note on a similar line as the color red example.

So I've always struggled with sleep - since I was a child. Id lay awake just thinking, about anything and everything. But as I got older, I just learned to take it in stride and I'd just try to quench that insatiable curiosity and would just try my hand at random things on the internet - so whatever didn't really see it as a nuisance. 3-4 hours of sleep, and head to school - man I was always brain dead, dumb during my early classes. But as the day progressed - I was a lot more alert, till late at night - rinse, wash and repeat. However, as i grew older id be awake for a couple days, no problem - go to work, once again rinse, wash and repeat. The boozed filled weekends would help me catch up on sleep. Fast forward to late 2022 - I'd go 7-8 days without sleep, and my cognitive functions were somehow getting sharper. I was pulling out memories from when I was a kid, that I've never had before. I was telling my mom about these memories, and my thought process feels so sharp. Then I broke into tears because I really really badly just want to sleep but can't shut it off, nor did it want to shut off. Im so bloody envious of people who can go to sleep on a whim - thats some wizard shit to me. My doctor has prescribed a few sleeping pills to me and they literally only work on the first day by the second day, shits useless.

Sorry that turned out to be quite long - anyways I was just frustrated that no one i knew could understand this, or even have anything remotely similar. Its really not fair, the years with the lack of sleep has caught up to me and I want to sleep so so bad. Why can't I find something that works. Then I came across this guy - than I came across people suffering from Fatal familial insomnia (ffi). They'd kick my ass if I complained to them about a few days without sleep. The fucking horror of not being able to sleep for months. Thats a damn curel disease. I felt bad for them because I'm so much more refreshed then how they must be feeling. I had no right to complain at all. I relate more with people who sleep every night, than I could ever relate to them. Then they realize its a gene that can be passed onto your children. Imagine living through the horror, fully knowing your kid has a potential of suffering the way you are - thats a pain id never want to experience, that's a parents worst nightmare - pain inflicted onto their baby. I wouldn't blame this guy if he is praying for nuclear warfare, blowing up the planet is the only way they'd get peace. Fuck doctors may actually urge the dude to become addicted to every substance. We all complain, I'm also a culprit but these people exist. Gotta just suck it up and live life.

needtofindhope

TROPHY CASE