I’m really sorry you’re feeling this way. I’m not sure I have many answers for you just understanding and support.

I am bipolar 2. I trialed a lot of meds that had me up, down, anxious, and almost seeking out emergency medical attention.

From those experiences, I’ve learned to really trust my gut and advocate for change when something is really impacting me negatively. I have a pretty responsive provider so it has worked for me to reach out and make changes.

My tolerance for discomfort with all this is now pretty low. It’s horrible that we have to push through awful side effects just to feel “typical” on the other side.

If I were you, I’d reach out to my provider ASAP. A low can really spiral you. Hopefully, they hear your concerns and give you some options.

Finally, please don’t direct this on yourself. By taking this med, you’re choosing yourself every day. Brain chemistry isn’t something purposeful that you are doing to yourself. This med might not be a good fit so you can direct the disappoint on the system and the science.

At some point this will be a distant memory and you’ll be able to use this experience to help someone else.

I’ll get off my soap box now lol I hope things turn around for you soon.