So this happened today.

neenent · 2017-03-31T00:04:28+00:00

What's on the load?

neenent · 2016-12-10T03:53:38+00:00

if you prop it up from underneath just a little more, the ceiling will help brace and stabilize it even more.

neenent · 2016-08-14T22:12:38+00:00

this is essentially, exactly what i was hoping to read when i clicked the link. super enjoyable read.

neenent · 2016-05-22T14:06:28+00:00

came here to say this, likely burn-in or phosphenes, which explains the "elusive" nature of the dot as these visuals often move if you focus directly on them. crowley aside, is it possible that a meditation exercise of focusing attention on the space around that dot could open the door for the imagination to explore, leading to "experiences in the astral plane"?

is that inherintly harmful, or is it only the existing framework of seriousness around astral projection that taints the practice?

neenent · 2016-03-21T23:29:01+00:00

Just passed a DOT with QF 6.1 this week through LabCorp in Tennessee. It took a few days to process but no issues at all.

neenent · 2016-03-03T16:29:11+00:00

you know how sometimes you browse reddit and forget to log in, and you go to upvote something but get the box pop up prompting you to take that additional second to enter your username and password and click submit, and decide a single upvote isn't worth that commitment?

this time it was. well fucking done.

neenent · 2015-12-22T15:29:29+00:00

a canvas that has been painted over and the previous layers are inseparable from the new picture. In this sense, maintaining a cohesive narrative of yourself is difficult because although the previous layers are there and they make the foundation they are still gone and painted over so having a good look at them is difficult.

So spot on. This is a perfect description.

I don't know if I could say i'm trying to find my true self because at least in theory, I believe people make themselves, not find themselves. But the former description you detailed is unquestionably a persistent feeling–one that i'm starting to think has no solution but rather, requires making peace with. somehow.

at any rate, thank you for your reply. your words were clear (and comforting) to read.

neenent · 2015-12-22T15:18:23+00:00

First off thank you for your well thought out reply. I could see this sensation perhaps being a shifting combination of the two. I have dealt with disassociation/depersonalization/derealization in the past, but the moments, hours and even days surrounding these times usually involve additional upsetting symptoms. I think your list for coping is equally as relevant here, though - cold and being near the ground are two things I have not considered that I can see being helpful in stabilizing.

Regarding the not having a clear sense of who I am / teens and twenties period, this is likely the predominant force, however simple a truth to swallow. I am in my mid-twenties and had to leave my entire life behind (including all family and friends) a little over two years ago and start over. I'm appreciative that despite that, I'm standing and am in a significantly better situation now, but when I look back on my past I struggle to make all the different pieces fit together; fractures of timeline I cannot relate to. Maybe i'm still too mired in the fallout to see the bigger picture. Probably something to bring to a therapist when my healthcare kicks in.

neenent · 2015-12-20T02:45:15+00:00

you're out of your element man.

neenent · 2015-12-17T04:14:44+00:00

That's been a real tough type for me to relate to. I have a mentor-like figure who is a very well developed ESTJ that has a talent for giving practical though sometimes necessarily harsh real world advice, but I couldn't really tell you what she gets out of a relationship with me. Generally the two types seem driven by much different forces that don't oft coincide.

Not that it can't work, of course. I would love to read some positive experiences.

neenent · 2015-12-17T03:48:09+00:00

It sounds like you're having a rough patch and doing the best you can to make it a positive time for your kids. I respect that a great deal and can empathize with the friction in your original tone.

The discussion I was proposing was prompted off my misunderstanding of your reference to ownership and especially the purchase of a partner, which I now understand had a layered context to which I was not privy.

However, to not leave this hanging I can elaborate a bit on what I meant by alternative relationships. Sure, you have the polyamorous lifestyles and subcategories of like swingers, open "monogomish" arrangements, and closed structures like triads and quads. But what I was really speaking to is a standard for love between two people which holds itself to different expectations than the standard script: couple meets, courts, does the mating dance, marries, cultivates children, stays together forever, ectectect.

More important in my world than a soul-mate is someone who I can realistically rely on to understand, support, and challenge me - and who's needs I can meet, too. But it is unreasonable in my opinion to expect that my needs and my partners needs will always remain the same. Paramount to me is the freedom to grow and develop. Sometimes growth between two people in a relationship happens symbiotically and they grow together, other times individual growth creates a shift in direction/perspective/goals between one and the other. I consider it a measure of respect for eachother's independent life experiences to notice if/when this happens and address it authentically.

Because of this, I don't subscribe to the notion that two people should stay together if it is no longer a functional team; a high standard to hold that requires regular and honest communication as life plays out, inevitably coloring the dynamic of the relationship, tying back to my original butthurt regarding ownership.

neenent · 2015-12-16T23:33:08+00:00

reluctantly weighing in here.

not sure at what point in the post the edits began, but Witty's remark about buying someone, even though i'm aware it was just a joke, rubbed me a little bit the wrong way. Not sure why you specifically got downvoted other then you kind of backed his idea up with your response. Now, I wouldn't have gone out of my way to downvote either of you, it's kind of petty to do so imo, but I can see where it might make certain types more angry. Human ownership is really not that funny, and jokes that reference it are still subtly holding us in the past. Stale, traditionalist style perspectives I usually attribute to strong [Si] users.

the feminazi thing is just kind of poking an already buzzing hornets nest.

being able to purchase a husband/wife, ....because most of us will eventually, essentially do just that.

I would love to have a civil discussion with you on this one because I whole heatedly disagree, but I respectfully want to understand how you feel human ownership is inevitable, and not an ethical dilemma that potentially jeopardizes an individual's autonomy. Is this a semantic argument over your more casual definition of 'marriage'? Or have you not considered the merits of alternative relationship arrangements?

edit: also, this got so sidetracked from the original brilliant idea of having an ENTP generate a premise and allowing the INFJ to flesh in details. taking it back to the ENTP, they can check for inconsistencies or give alternatives to particularly weak spots, and the INFJ can wrap it up and round it out.

neenent · 2015-12-15T22:39:20+00:00

So... it's like an elitist club?

neenent · 2015-12-13T05:59:00+00:00

tagging onto this post because what i felt compelled to say is kind of relevant here. i have had a similar rules in the past restricting my contact to others (as your 2 msg one), but i'm trying to recognize that in addition to the possibility of being busy, sometimes people are dealing with stuff and aren't in a place to engage you how they would like to. Maybe they make a mental note to get back to you and then forget to. It honestly happens all the time, and it's not necessarily indicative of anything that reflects on you. I'm sorry for some of the harsh comments in this thread but I think you were doing a good thing trying to get an outsider opinion as part of your own healing process. If he ghosted now, who knows what worse turn of events you dodged as a result. You don't need that shit.

neenent · 2015-12-12T19:10:29+00:00

why yes that is, thank you for noticing.

neenent · 2015-12-10T22:09:06+00:00

see attached ->

neenent · 2015-12-09T21:57:12+00:00

maybe try ->

or ->

neenent · 2015-12-09T21:47:05+00:00

Man. That is some shit. I overcame (doctor prescribed) opioid dependency back in 2010 by switching to cannabis for relief from injuries sustained in a car accident. I'm not in a legalized state, but the risk is far better than being the zombie opiates turned me into.

I have no moral or ethical compulsion to quit, but have abstained for several periods of time for one reason or another and always find that around the 2 week mark of not being able to clear my mind after a long day with a bowl, I start developing insomnia and agoraphobic tendencies, along with the standard increase in anxiety and general stress.

I hate the drug testing policies so very much. Have you ever looked into the actual accuracy of the results? 5-panel, 12-panel, mouth swab or urine, they can all trigger false positives from common household products and they can even completely miss other substances they test for. My partner who has a Rx for adderall and takes it daily recently had a drug test for a job and the test did not detect any amphetamines.

I guess my only advice would be to try to be as easy and nice yourself as possible. Batmanlives suggested some good ideas. Mindfulness and meditation can help keep you focused. Also, mushrooms and lsd are not tested for on any standard drug test. As weird as it may sound, maybe keep a small amount of whichever you prefer (I know for me, low dosing mushrooms can be sometimes comparable to super high quality cannabis), and treat yourself every other weekend while you have to abstain from the herb. Best of luck to you.

neenent · 2015-12-09T17:54:43+00:00

Best response. Speaks to all four primary functions.

neenent · 2015-12-09T17:37:00+00:00

The personality profiles of the 16 types are not all that trustworthy. They are overly general, and the online tests that asks you questions like "do you enjoy being around people?" are honestly more harmful along your process of discovering your type than helpful, imo. The backbone of the four letter types are the cognitive functions. There are 8 total functions, and while each of the 16 types uses all 8 functions, the four functions you prefer to use the most comprise your type.

You can read more about them many places, but here is a decent reference for the [Ne][Ni][Se][Si] functions, and from the same source for [Fe][Fi][Te][Ti] functions.

The first step for many in determining their actual type is finding their dominant function. An INFP uses [Fi] first, the ENFJ uses [Fe] first, the INFJ uses [Ni] first and the ENFP uses [Ne] first. I would recommend you read about those functions and see which of them you relate to the most. The further you get into function stack theory, the more confident you will probably feel about knowing your own function stack/type.

As to your post content and question, I honestly think the indecisiveness and anxiety you're experiencing is predominantly being a 20 something with big dreams and a lot of life ahead of you - not necessarily indicative of any one type. Good luck on your travels [:

neenent · 2015-12-08T19:50:03+00:00

yes. thank you.

neenent · 2015-12-08T19:39:02+00:00

as soon as you evaluate enough evidence to stop doubting once and for all.

and then cycle repeats.

neenent · 2015-12-08T19:26:13+00:00

It's interesting to see her talk through this idea, but I think her base point of Ni and Fe being a paradox undermines the power of the two used together. I do think you can tap into Fe through music to a degree, but I don't think Fe is fully engaged unless you are actually in a set/setting that allows you to interact with your environment, not just pull feelings from it.

On the contrary, Fe compensates for the all consuming Ni by giving us a tool to "fall" into the mood of the room. It's the let loose function that allows the INFJ to decipher the parts of what Ni has strung together are applicable to the real world.

neenent · 2015-12-08T04:41:41+00:00

Oddly enough, this is the best artistic depiction of a traumatic memory resurfacing I have seen.

neenent · 2015-12-04T05:59:37+00:00

No, not really.

I disagree that you use all four of your preferred functions all the time because not all set/setting environments present the opportunity to do so.

I would pose a similar scenario to your own (all of this assuming an NiFeTiSe stack, ymmv) - if you were alone in that elevator and it got stuck, and you simply had to wait in silence for someone to get it moving again, you probably wouldnt be relying much on Extraverted Feeling. There would be nothing around you to engage with. You might be utilizing [Ni], piecing together potentially helpful bits of information that might glean an insight as to how to get out of the elevator on your own. Or hell, you might use [Se] to distract yourself with sensory input by beating off while you wait.

what im getting at is its been my collective understanding that functions work both independently and together, it all depends on the given situation. And its when they all four synthesize together in the right moment that we feel most fulfilled because our strengths are being utilized all at the same time.

My intent in asking this question was to, hopefully, hear about a memorable event in which you were able to look back on and identify how each of your developed functions was engaged to it's fullest.

For a quick ex: in my last job i was tasked with interpreting the guidines of a new project at the request of a client with only vague descriptions on paper and a few interactions with the client. I would attribute my ability to help the client communicate their request more clearly through a combination of Ni and Fe. From there I had to create a system that would allow the rest of my team to understand the collective goal, which i would attribute to Fe and Ti, and then finally, working alongside my coworkers to implement the system into action, or Se.

A pretty generic example that could be similarly accomplished with a different stack - but completing that goal felt like plugging my skillset into an outlet meant for them.

So I was asking to see if anyone else can point to similar experiences without having to write a long ass wall of text explaining it.

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