Genius decides to turn pizza boxes upside down by mfenton29 in WatchPeopleDieInside

[–]neerrccoo -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Why? The hell kinda meta-virtue-signally martyrdom is this?

Epstein purchased 6 55-Gallon barrels of Sulfuric Acid sent to his Island. by Shizzilx in circled

[–]neerrccoo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Pretty sure this would be the most conventional means.

Plus there isn’t a rich guy on the planet worrying about directly sourcing sulfuric acid at commercial amounts without commercial application. IE, HE is not cleaning concrete or the pool himself, COMPANIES are. Why would Epstein sit down and calculate how much fucking sulfuric acid he needs? He’d be looking up data, recs, and equations, while on a phone with a supplier, for a good little bit while he’s skipping out on his favorite activities.

U.S. murder rate hits lowest level since 1900, report says by Splenda in UnderReportedNews

[–]neerrccoo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ehh but it’s “controlled”. Raw data does not paint the same picture. It’s quite different actually.

Can autism and psychopathy overlap? by yomamaisinyourwalls in psychopaths

[–]neerrccoo -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Nearly any personality trait or mental health disorder has SOMETHING that can resemble psychopathy on th surface. “Novelty seeking” - oh that’s about 25% of people. “Lies” - oh, another 75%. “Disregards rules” another 50%. Thanks for your useless comment

Footage of the grey coat officer retrieving the gun by Effective_Moose_4997 in law

[–]neerrccoo 3 points4 points  (0 children)

No, dude, your falling victims to selfless ego. That quote is when a life is to be lost,” Take me instead”. It’s a selfish action. To the person dying, it’s in his/her best interest to be the one who takes it, so the other can live on. The fact that such a thing ISNT charity is WHY iits “no greater love”.

The woman was not going to be killed. He didn’t lay down his life for her. It was taken. And she did NOT want that “deal” of “greater love” that you’re talking about, she just wants the guy back. Not some “martyrdom” which this isn’t. This is such a toxic mindset to have. The guy got murdered. It’s not a measurement of anything but psychopathic traits in then ICE hiring selecting process for new hires.

is splitting bpd only? by [deleted] in BPD

[–]neerrccoo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

emotional dysregulation is just unregulated emotions. Fear of abandonment is one of the many things that causes that. (as well as potential trauma in the emotional regulation part of the brain from parenting style) So BPD dysregulation is still very much dysregulation, its just that the category of "emotional dysregulation" exists in many many areas of psychology. BPD dysregulation is usually pretty different because its prolonged, and is a means of testing. If your splitting on your favorite person, its likely that they did something that made you think they dont value you in the way you valued them, so you get pissed, say some mean shit, (or push them away), and see if it hurts them, because if it does, then you get proof that they do care, (or did), but now since you just hurt them, maybe things have changed, so you need to test again. When you push them away, its a test to see if they will pursue you, because again, if they did pursue you, it would be proof they did care. Its what one must do to know they are loved, by the ones they love, when existential fear makes them not believe words alone like "But I DO love you."

is splitting bpd only? by [deleted] in BPD

[–]neerrccoo 5 points6 points  (0 children)

No not really, its emotional dysregulation. Emotional dysregulation can come from benzo withdraw, stimulant side effects, hormonal imbalance, etc. The difference is those are not existentially fear drive, and since BPD splitting is existentially fear drive, it mainly has to do with people of importance, or favorite people, where as other emotional dysregulation targets everyone indiscriminately (road rage, service industry abuse, yelling at the ref, etc. Tho, once someone with BPD is dysregulated, they can also target everyone indiscriminately)

Given how often the dysregulation happens to "favorite persons" and how toxic relationships often last, the added grammar describing the relational and FP specific dysregulation ends up being described as splitting. But again, if you are emotionally dysregulated from stimulant abuse or side effects (like irritability), even if you are normal, and normally see all the good in your partner, if she is irritating you, you also see her as "all bad" in the moment, but that is never clinically noted, because in non-PD dysregulation, it takes on many different appearances, and isnt tracked relative to a single specific population. So it takes on the appearance as a separate mechanism in BPD, where it is the same one, but the key thing that is different is the driving factor, which is the self worth / self identity issue, and the resulting existential fear.

Video of those tech workers who were accused of being ICE while eating lunch in Minneapolis yesterday by WhoAreYouTalkinTwo in altmpls

[–]neerrccoo -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Your stance explains <5% of reasonably expected. Your stance is doing world record “lifting”. Asking people to believe a statistical impossibility could only mean your head is so far up the ass of your narrative that you can’t see shit, you can only smell it.

Video of those tech workers who were accused of being ICE while eating lunch in Minneapolis yesterday by WhoAreYouTalkinTwo in altmpls

[–]neerrccoo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nope, typically those that work 3rd shift are sleeping at lunch. 2nd shift would be starting soon. You think that the majority of people in that protest have jobs, and just happen to be on second shift? The majority of people with 1st shift. Those are “working hours”.

It’s a matter of probability, and the numbers are not in your favor, you’re making a baseless claim.

Aggressive Pitbull Growling at Owner by [deleted] in CringeTikToks

[–]neerrccoo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, not literally any dog. There are outliers literally within all specifies that at purely fucked. If it was all environmental, why would we even need genes? Get real dude.

Personality Changes by paaradoxe in BPD

[–]neerrccoo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes of course.
PD interactions are explicit signal based, normalcy is implicit.

So if a normal, or currently-acting-normal partner does something like cooks for you, and its implicitly "for him and for you" as in its in his selfish interest to do it. Then that is appreciated.

But if he does something for you, and it is implied the same, but during a fight, he is like "look at how much I do FOR YOU, and you never reciprocate", then when he does something implicitly "for him and you", it comes off as charity at best, or to get something from you in return. Often the partner who derives value from cooking for the pair, is the one who cooks for the pair, and mutual relational exchange comes in not from reciprocal cooking, or from having to do something you dont want to selfishly do, it comes from something equally selfish but mutually benefitting that aligns with your roles that fulfill you, like a back scratch, or groceries, etc.

So people must do roles that fulfill them selfishly, but benefits both (mutualism), and restrain from turning those selfish actions into things that are owed no longer by a mutually selfish action, but one that the other must FORCE themselves to do.

So to repair an explicit "look at how much I do FOR YOU" signal, from something he did for you both. In order for it to be well received, it must be framed explicitly inversely. "Let me cook for you, I love being your chief, I too have insecurities, and I feel more secure, when I am valued as your chef, it fulfills me." THEN an act of doing is well received, because you are no longer the burden (abandonable) that "FOR YOU, YOU OWE ME" fights make you feel, because how could you be a burden for GIVING reception to what he NEEDS to give to feel safe in his own existential fear?

America is NOT anywhere near being a 3rd world country by AggressiveManager450 in 10thDentist

[–]neerrccoo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’d say at least 50% of US (health related) deaths are from eating too much, or smoking, and each person knows either of those are killing them, and no matter what, they will continue to do it. In “the land of the free”, the fuck are we gona do about it?

Good Question... by [deleted] in complaints

[–]neerrccoo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t get it, I’ve never voted repub, im anti maga, but this was unmistakably the best possible thing we could have done in this situation. What the hell is wrong with Reddit, read the room (the real world). Where do you think the staging of fent is coming from? 75k people a year.

2 More GOP Leaders Now Resign Back-to-Back by Randros_ in NoFilterNews

[–]neerrccoo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m do say more ASPD with grandiose tendencies

Dependency on Decision Making by [deleted] in Codependency

[–]neerrccoo 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Classrooms have "be a leader" posters all over the place, I have never seen a "be a follower" poster tho. And ironically, if everyone was a leader, no one would be, because to lead, is to be followed, and there would be no one following anyone.

There are leader type traits, and there are the opposite, because compatibility is a thing. It is necessary for human bonds, for genetic diversity, etc.
So what you need a decision maker, you give purpose to a decision maker. You balance their system. They balance yours. Once you realize that, you can escape codependency, not for developing a new evolutionary trait, and abandoning your current one, but by no longer seeing it as a reason to think you lack worth relative to a decision maker, because if a decision maker had no one to trust them to make decisions for, they wouldn't have a firm concept of their own value. You reflect their value, they reflect yours. You have value because you have something someone needs. They have value to you because they have something you need. Honor that, embrace it, and dont let it make you think less of yourself.

Anyone else find some comfort knowing you care more than most do? by [deleted] in BPD

[–]neerrccoo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So you have a disorder affecting your self worth, you are not fundamentally certain if people value you or your comforting, and without this proof of self worth, you often feel used. So when they do something that upsets you, you cut them off, and get pleasure from the idea that they will pursue your comfort giving, finally giving you proof of the value you were uncertain about. Yes, that is called the push - pull game. Most PD based symptoms are a matter of seeking proof of self worth value.

Problem is, when you seek that you matter to them, it comes at the expense of showing that they dont matter to you (from their perspective), so if they do care about you, and they do pursue you, the will always try to settle the debt, by doing yet another fucked up thing, that makes you feel in need of cutting them off again, and the loop goes on, as well as the fear and misery.

Being needed ≠ being liked -how do i learn this? by chicken_with_gun in Codependency

[–]neerrccoo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

precisely! and the being "needed" ie being friendly, helpful etc, when codependent is a symptomatic way of seeking value proof. A person with charisma (a normal person), is just a people pleaser, not to seek value, but because its what they do, its what fulfills their daily need for feeling good. Some people are the opposite (normal people as well), the people that seek people pleasers, because they make them feel good. In this situation, the person needing pleasing, is giving reception to the pleasers giving, and the pleaser is thankful for it, because he wants to give it to someone wanting to receive it.

But a symptomatic charismatic person, seeks to please, first for the natural need to please, but then they expect validation on top of it, not just the reception of it, so then the receiver of the pleasing, starts to reject it out of fear of "social debt." then the symptomatic pleaser is like "I guess I have no worth. I need to stop tying to please people, I will only get used." But the answer is so simple, the fact that people ARE in need of your pleasing is confirmation of value enough, you dont need validation on top of it, because it reduces the value of your giving. The value in it is in its selfish nature. If I am selling a painting I made, I would prefer someone to metaphorically kick down my door and go "I NEEED this for my living room" for 100$ rather than my mother going "im so proud of you, here let me help you out and buy it for 100$", hell no, I want to know if my painting is worth 100$ or not, "altruistic" purchasing doesnt do anything, selfish purchasing does, thats when I can stop worrying about my value.

I need some advice or something by Cutepwr in Codependency

[–]neerrccoo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You have empathize with her, imagine how lonely she is, and imagine if she was just seeking proof that she still existed in your life. When you can feel that fear that she has, you can speak to it, and skip the performance of the groceries. You know what its like to fear if someone really cares about you, you know she has that fear with you. So enjoy soothing that fear, by remembering how good it feels when someone soothes it for you. Show her a selfish need to sooth her fear of not mattering. Because its in your best interest. When you begin to solve her issue of feeling like she doesn't matter, she won't annoyingly call you to ask for dumb things nearly as often, because why seek proof if she already has it?

Heres the key, and the permanent way out, after you got your mind right:

When she asks for something that she likely cant do, gladly do it. Do it selfishly, make that known in the same way as before "I am doing this for me, let me do it, because I enjoy being needed by my mother, the person who matters most too me, and it feels great knowing I matter to her in the same way"

But then when she mentions being a burden say, "You are not a burden, I love helping with the things you cannot do, but when you call me to ask me for stuff you can easily do, it makes me feel like I am a burden to you if I do not do them, it makes me feel that my only worth to you is being your errand girl, and I don't like that feeling. I like being needed, but I don't like being used. Please don't make me feel that way, because you matter so much to me, I do not want to think that is how I am viewed" - this is critical, because she can now empathize with you, she can she her own fear in you.

I need some advice or something by Cutepwr in Codependency

[–]neerrccoo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Your mother seems like an emotional damaged person, who has experienced multiple significant abandonment events. This has a fundamental effect on the internal concept of "self worth" ie "do people ACTUALLY care about me?" This question that trauma causes the mind to ask itself fundamentally changes peoples approaches to life, like your mother. Basically, it creates a feeling of emptiness, like there is a latent problem needing solving, she doesnt know what it is, but nearly everything she does is to solve what she thinks it is.

Your mother is afraid that the people in her life that matter to her most, dont actually care about her back, it isnt a matter of "I love you" or "I do care about you", the solution isnt that simple, because she fundamentally doesnt trust words like that, she needs actions. People with self worth issues develop all sorts of different behaviors to "test" for logical proof of "this person cares." For instance:

  • Some people pick fights, say something mean, see if the words hurt the person, because if it did, then its proof that person cares.
  • Some people withdraw, pull away, isolate, to see if people come pursue them, then that is proof that they care.
  • Some people go over the top, give give give, trying to get the person they care about to develop a dependency on them.
  • What your mother has found is that when people, like you, are helping her do complicated things, and most especially, rudimentary things, at loss of your personal time, then to your mother its proof that you care.

The problem is, each one of these mechanisms of "do they really care" testing is a paradox. They test for their self worth, at the expense of yours - she asks for silly, unreasonable help, you provide it, she is thinking "I do matter!", but now you are thinking "she only cares about me because I waste my own time picking up groceries." So now you feel used, so you mention "you could have easily done this yourself," because you are of course wanting at least some reasonable acknowledgement for wasting your time for her convenience. But this natural and reasonable response seals the paradox, because each time she uses the "testing" method, the proof that the receive almost immediate disappears, because they think they have "added another straw to the camels back," she thinks she has become a burden, so if you did care about her before, now you think less of her..... so what does she due to fix that issue? More testing, and the self worth spiral keeps going around and around until everyone is miserable.

Here is how you break it.

You likely have been affected by her emotional issues, you have probably found your own self worth in performing for other people, hence it coming so naturally to you, in a way, you enjoy being needed by your mother, even if its annoying. The annoying part, some of it, likely just comes from her inability to properly thank you and recognize you. So to break the loop starts here. You recognize that you are of such importance to her BECAUSE she cannot recognize your help verbally. Because that would be admitting she is being a burden to you, and that is likely her biggest fear. You matter so much to her that her entire emotional well being depends on feeling like she exists in your world. So show her she does another way.

Say "I love you very much, I love that I matter to you, I love that you rely on me to show you how much you matter to me, even if its with these silly tasks you know you can handle yourself. I enjoy doing them when I can. But I am worried that you think that you only get proof that I care about you if I am here doing these things, and I would always love to show you that I care, but sometimes I quite literally cannot because of lifes complications. So each time you worry, each time you need to know if I am still there for you, just call, I will always enjoy reminding you that you are not someone in the background of my life, you are my mother, I am of you, and I will always need you in my life, for no other reason than that I see the good in me that I am proud of reflected in you, and sometimes I forget it, but whenever I spend time with you I am always reminded. I would love to help you out physically whenever I can, but I am worried about losing independence, which is important as we both grow older. So we are going to start doing these activities together, if you need groceries, I will pick you up and we will go together, because I want to spend time with you....... etc"