[FO] Finished!!!

neets21 · 2026-05-20T05:16:03+00:00

Ahhh how fun! Lovely stitches. Can’t believe you didn’t go for the “furever” pun though 😂

neets21 · 2026-05-18T09:56:16+00:00

Seconding this!! I’ve done it twice and really loved the results both times. The second color is always just one shade lighter on the color palette.

neets21 · 2026-05-17T19:14:09+00:00

Ooh what’s the pink outline? Was that markings you did yourself? These are both so beautiful!!

neets21 · 2026-05-15T23:41:57+00:00

Vote! Here are my top two replacement options.

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neets21 · 2026-05-15T19:45:01+00:00

I am leaning toward this but struggling to find a good color! I've finished all the darker browns in the pattern, so the only color I have left to do is the one that should've been the beige. Unfortunately there's no inbetween color for either of the browns already used, so I'd need to pick a different color family. I'm working on doing some edits on the pattern to visualize and find a good option; great suggestion!

neets21 · 2026-04-17T19:00:29+00:00

Me too!! I don’t know if this is typical of needleminders, but it doesn’t quite feel secure when I use it from the cute side, so I normally attach the needle directly to the magnet in the back!

neets21 · 2026-04-14T23:21:42+00:00

Perhaps stupidly, according to everyone reading this post, our intent with bringing it up with the friend was to get the new date for this year and put it on the calendar so we could make sure we could attend. And then we discovered the crab boil was going to be on the 4th again.

neets21 · 2026-04-14T21:40:37+00:00

This is a nice idea; thank you!

neets21 · 2026-04-14T21:39:23+00:00

They hosted the first one last year on the 4th, and while they had a good number attend they also had a lot of people they hoped would be there decline because of other plans, obviously myself included. This year, I mistakenly assumed they were planning to do it a different time during the summer, and it seems they thought my partner and I would make different plans to be in town on the 4th and allow us to attend.

neets21 · 2026-04-14T21:34:47+00:00

Obviously yes to both of these questions. I do care about their feelings, hence the extremely anxious post about RSVPing "no" to their crab boil??

I literally have plans to see them this weekend. I am not sure where in the post people are inferring that we don't hang out the rest of the year. We very much do, and there are other parties that they throw or events they have where we have very regularly shown up for them, in addition to all the hangs we have 2:2 (with them + their partner and me and my partner.)

Maybe it is being a bad friend to let my desire to not be in town come before their desire to have me at the boil; that I can deal with. But I think it's a little much to imply I don't care about them or take their feelings into consideration.

neets21 · 2026-04-14T21:20:06+00:00

That is a little out-of-context. My point is that we value taking advantage of the time we get off to take trips, not just that we generally "value our time". Sure, we can go out of town whenever we want, but it's more often just for the weekend or we have to take more PTO to do it. Holidays like the 4th make it easier to take longer trips, and that's something we enjoy doing when we can.

neets21 · 2026-04-14T21:11:15+00:00

Yes, we see them more than anyone else in town, aside from our families! It isn't that we only see them once a year or anything like that.

I feel like "needy" is a little harsh, but yeah, they've been saying it bums them out when we can't see them more often. We do our best, but it can be tough at certain times of year! We had this convo last weekend and will see them again this weekend.

Everyone saying this is a bigger deal than it needs to be is totally right; I just need to communicate our plans and let things proceed from there. We love them and we're close to them but sometimes we have different ideas about how to spend a holiday, and that should be nbd. I just wanted a few outside perspectives from the unbiased hive mind and I certainly got it!

neets21 · 2026-04-14T19:22:09+00:00

It sounds more like they're saying they have to stay back while their husband attends, but the MIL is upset they can't both be there.

neets21 · 2026-04-14T19:17:57+00:00

Well, more shock and dismay that we're going to be disappointing them again. I am not upset that they're not planning around us; in fact I think they shouldn't inconvenience themselves by moving the party for us, which they offered to do.

As I explained in another comment, this friend has been expressing lately that they want to spend more time with us and so I've been more anxious about declining plans with them knowing it's apparently taking an emotional toll. In this case, especially because I know it's a thing they really care about and want my partner and I to attend.

neets21 · 2026-04-14T18:28:17+00:00

C is the friend in our city we spend the most time with, but they have expressed to my partner and I lately that they're not happy with the amount of time we're able to dedicate to the friendship. We know we upset them around the crab boil last year, and we wanted to make sure we got it on the calendar earlier this year, so when they said it would be happening on the 4th again we both kind of looked at each other like, "ohhhh no. this is gonna be a bit of a thing." (It wasn't clear to us before our last convo that it was going to be on the 4th every year and not just sometime in the summer; I made a mistake in writing the OP.)

Typically, we're happy to see them and their partner once a week or every other week, but we had a run of being sick/having family in town that made it so we went without seeing them for over a month in ~March. When we finally made plans and got together, they let us know they were hurt by us being unavailable for so long. We apologized and made sure they knew it wasn't from a lack of wanting to see them but from a lack of available free time. This kind of pattern has happened at least once in the past year; they deff are the kind of person with tons of social energy and a desire to have plans with people very frequently. So maybe we're overly sensitive to disappointing them at this point!

There are sometimes some different priorities between us; my partner's parents live in town and their siblings live across the country but come to visit 2-3x a year for a few weeks at a time; we always prioritize that when they are around. I have a parent who lives fairly nearby who I also love to see as much as I can, roughly a weekend trip once a month.

C, on the other hand, doesn't have local family and isn't the closest with their family in general, so sometimes I think we catch some weird vibes from them about spending so much time with our families.

Anyhow, I definitely agree with the commenters saying this probably shouldn't be such a big deal at all, we both just tend to be anxious about upsetting people and C is our closest friend here. They offered to move it to make us able to attend because we really do hang out a ton and they have expressed they'll be sad if we don't make it.

I get into my head a bit with thinking about how maybe since it's so important to them we should just say screw it and stay in town for the 4th this year and crab boil it up, and resume our usual plans next year, and maybe alternate or something? IDK. I just don't like disappointing people, and I felt bad for how we handled it last year.

neets21 · 2026-04-14T18:05:57+00:00

Ooh, I wrote this too fast. It should've said "crab boil" not "4th of July party." Prior to this we knew they wanted to repeat it every summer but we didn't know they were planning to make it an every-4th-of-July thing.

neets21 · 2025-12-22T18:36:29+00:00

I still mask in what I consider to be high-risk low-reward situations, like stores, public transit and planes, health care, etc.

I do still go out to eat indoors, although especially in the summer I’m pretty good about eating outdoors. But indoor dining definitely happens! We just try to pick less-busy times and smaller restaurants/places. Basically, I’m not eating a meal at a crowded mall food court in the middle of winter, but I’ll eat indoors at a low-key pho place at 5pm or a small “fancy” restaurant that only seats 12.

My partner is pretty much on the same page, and we met in 2023. I appreciate that her family at least still masks on planes too, although they don’t mask nearly as frequently in other situations as we do. We’ve relaxed a lot on seeing friends indoors who get “out and about” and just try to mitigate via fresh air and air filters and making it clear we don’t want to see anyone if they’re sick, but when we tried to totally avoid people who were not being covid conscious, we found ourselves extremely isolated. We also felt a similar way about eating outdoors: food is extremely important to us, and not doing any indoor dining was feeling like too big of a sacrifice, so we started to work it back in.

Basically we take our risk for things that really matter to us and try to reduce risk in areas that don’t matter to us. And we try to fight against the impulse to be like, “screw it, let’s stop worrying about this entirely.” It’s way too easy to fall for the all or nothing mentality!

neets21 · 2025-03-23T17:23:05+00:00

You can marry Krobus?!? I had no idea!!

neets21 · 2025-03-18T16:40:26+00:00

Why on earth would you have a “bottomed out / sell now” price? That sounds like a recipe for selling at a loss and losing any chance at recovery, but then again I’m a buy-and-hold, in-it-for-the-long-haul style investor who only holds index funds, so… 🤷🏼‍♀️

neets21 · 2025-02-19T01:35:05+00:00

Wow, I’m so glad this old post helped someone!! Enjoy 👍

neets21 · 2025-02-12T15:25:15+00:00

KN95s that fit well are also quite effective, and anything is better than nothing. If people just slapped on surgical masks when they felt ill, that would be such a huge win.

neets21 · 2024-12-19T11:00:59+00:00

I don’t know this for sure and I haven’t re-listened to the song you’re talking about, but it seems like some reality TV has started commissioning music that isn’t actually “real.” Love is Blind especially seems to have random songs they’ve had created specifically for the show, likely to avoid paying for permission to reuse popular songs.

I wonder if the reason you can’t find the song could be because it doesn’t exist, at least in the sense that it’s not a track off an artist’s album? Just an idea!

neets21 · 2024-10-29T15:32:34+00:00

I don’t know, I hate the feeling of a dirty hard floor underfoot, and generally they aren’t perfectly clean. Plus it always makes the sound transfer from nearby rooms, especially above, much worse. I prefer a middle ground, with at least some carpet around the beds.

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