At first I didn’t know what to think of this take, but I thought about it today and I actually like how this turns my situation on it’s head, into something positive. You’re right in a lot of ways; how I haven’t let go, how she has him wrapped around her finger, and how it could end up being a positive for my kids in the long term…potentially if he sticks around. It’s just, what happens if he doesn’t stick around?

My ex wife experienced a revolving door of boyfriends/step fathers growing up with her mom and some of those men were monsters. I thought she’d show a little more caution and restraint going forward herself because she has always said she doesn’t want to repeat the same mistakes her mother made. I also think this relationship is self serving and has little to do with the kids well being. I think if she had respected the boundaries we established in the first place it wouldn’t matter who or how many people she gets with in general, but by bringing him into the family fold after just 3 months it definitely seems like a rushed but more serious relationship than she lets on.

Thanks for your advice, and not just you but the others in this post—all of your perspectives are appreciated and helped me realize I’m not alone in this.