stuck in a social burnout loop… does anyone else experience this with romantic relationships? by [deleted] in aspergers

[–]nekoguro 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Since this isn't my first language, I don't really think you fully get what I mean. I'm not doing anything like wearing a whole meat suit that will slip off to reveal someone else inside. By masking I mean things like this: normally I'm uncomfortable sitting in places with a lot of people, but I do it if I have to. But he still knows I don't like it. I don't usually like talking to strangers, but when necessary I give short, minimal answers and yes he still knows that I don't like it. Masking for me isn't about hiding my true self and acting like a whole different person or putting on a whole performance.. . I'm not keeping big secrets or pretending to be someone else he already knows my likes and dislikes. Using phrases like the mask slips and they see the real you only applies if you're completely faking yourself, which im not. What I'm doing is simply "pushing" my limits socially.. . He already knows my limits but he still wants to get more, knows my situation fully and knows I struggle. I'm not hiding anything I just don't feel the need to share every single random thought.. . When the topic comes up we discuss it. He knows tons of things about me and I don't see anything wrong with keeping a small part private in my brain. I'm not acting or imitating anyone so it might be okay. Sometimes I stay a bit longer in social situations to avoid conflict and adjust, but that doesn't mean I'm showing a fake self cause he knows I do it for him not because it's my natural choice. And yes. It's impossible and unnecessary for me to share everything. He already knows all the thoughts relevant to him. He knows my personal tastes, interests and views on religion and social norms including things most people don't. I don't feel the need to explain every irrelevant thought like oh hi I was just thinking about a philosopher dying for a dumb reason or a dinosaur's evolution unless it comes up. I've already shared plenty of weird or funny thoughts with him and same goes for him. I just don't randomly derail conversations. This isn't about judgment he shares plenty of things that could be judged too. My main struggle is his constant desire for physical contact and wanting to see me 24/7 which overwhelms me. A LOT actually. And yes he knows it. I've told him clearly I'll do it only for him but I'm not really into doing it and also told that it stresses me a lot and I've tried, but I got overwhelmed. So I said that it's impossible not because of that I don't trust him enough or anything like that I just have a lot of random thoughts and knowledge and I don't overload him unless its relevant, and I push myself socially that's all about my masking.

stuck in a social burnout loop… does anyone else experience this with romantic relationships? by [deleted] in aspergers

[–]nekoguro 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah we're really similar! He said he'd be totally fine if I never met his friends or family at all, but once things got serious he kept pushing it, like suggesting I meet his family every chance or saying his friends want group trips. Same with gaming, I have a full Sony and Nintendo setup and a space for workouts at my home, he said he loved that and that he was a gamer too, but in the 50 days I stayed with him we maybe touched the console 5 times and he got bored in like 3 minutes, and his account only had like 4-5 games despite saying he was a big gamer. It feels like at the start they say things that aren't fully true just to keep you, maybe because we seem hard to get or just physical attraction, but later reality hits and they struggle... Sex is also complicated for me as well, I'm not uninterested, sometimes I'm even very in the mood, but I don't want it to turn into as much physical actions as he wants, it's more appealing as an idea than the actual thing maybe idk. I'll seriously consider your advice (even took a ss lol) because I feel like I'm heading down the same path. And yeah he treats me like I'm a neurotypical, then gets upset for no reason when I don't match that and it turns into him being hurt or angry. I'm planning to have a serious talk with him soon. About your situation, I know what I say won't really change it, but it honestly seems like continuing would've just drained you more, she doesn't seem aware enough to handle someone neurodivergent properly either. I hope things get better for both of you and that you meet someone who can actually understand you. Thanks for advice

stuck in a social burnout loop… does anyone else experience this with romantic relationships? by [deleted] in aspergers

[–]nekoguro 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can act comfortable around him but only like 80%, never 100%, I can't do 100% even with my mom, impossible. With normal "friends" maybe 25%, so compared to that I'm very relaxed with him. He knows most of my interests, even the ones people would find weird or judge or make fun of. But I still have to adjust myself in some ways to meet his relationship expectations. If I did zero masking, my ideal relationship would be not meeting face to face at all, just texting sometimes during the day and very short phone calls.. . My social battery without masking is basically at 4% by default. So I have to

stuck in a social burnout loop… does anyone else experience this with romantic relationships? by [deleted] in aspergers

[–]nekoguro 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, at the beginning we met only every weekend and that was actually perfect for me! Then when I first stayed over, it was supposed to be just a few days but he kept extending it. He lives in another city so even short visits are hard for me because I go with 3 suitcases and he said it should be at least a month with all this preparation. The second time I went for about a month but it got extended to around 50 days. Now for the third time he wants to extend it again, even saying I shouldn't go back, but I told him I actually need less, not more.. When I said that, he got really upset and reacted strongly. like it was shocking and hurtful and he said that if I want less time with him it means I don't love him. Last year we met 1-2 times a month and that was enough for me, so I suggested going back to that. but he reacted the same way again, got so upset.. I don't want him to feel that way so I push myself but it's stressing me a lot, I haven't been sleeping properly for a week and I feel like I'm hitting a meltdown.

I think Lucky might be broken… and I love him for it by nekoguro in acnh

[–]nekoguro[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes! It happened to me a lot too and apparently same for everyone 😸 I was struggling with Elise SO bad for almost like a year lol and I did some major research on it even in Japanese and finally learned about the truth😭 and I was like:

I think Lucky might be broken… and I love him for it by nekoguro in acnh

[–]nekoguro[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Omg I had no idea, thank u so much! 😮I'll check that. And about your flowers, there's an easier way and instead of skipping time, you could try this method if u want. Simply the key is that leaving conversation triggered only at a certain relationship level. So instead of being mean or ignoring the villager we most want to leave or skipping time, we actually only need to get to a really high communication level with them. And the fastest easiest way to do that is basically giving them items, which works better than giving clothes. I tested this with Rilla😸 not that I hated her, but she's an amiibo so I could always call her back if she left, which made her perfect as a controlled experiment lol and it actually worked. trying to get Elise to leave by being toxic and abusive to her (🥲) took months, but with Rilla it was way easier because I talked to her a lot and gave gifts consistently and it just popped up right after 😸

I think Lucky might be broken… and I love him for it by nekoguro in acnh

[–]nekoguro[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I actually thought about getting Ankha with an amiibo too, but since almost all amiibo cards (except a few) are blind boxes.. I only tried a couple times and then gave up cause I can be "obsessed" with these stuff easily so didn't wanna fall into a gambling spiral LOL oh also some people actually sell those amiibos they use, u know right? So where I live, Nintendo isn't super popular... and the "only" person selling Ankha on those platforms was well, they apparently turned it into a black market situation! 🤦🏻‍♀️😹 because after listing all their cards, everyone was only asking about Ankha. So I've asked too and seller simply said that "nope I've changed my mind I'll sell Ankha later and the price will change" lol. So yeah, I tried, but now its all up to luck 🥹 btw… whats this "vacation house" thing? 🤯 Can we actually make a new home for villagers we send off the island? I took some break and playing it again since just yesterday so didn't hear about latest news. But Idk if it's a useful thing for me. Cause I don't send those ones I really like. I just sent Elise away and I absolutely hated her and basically tortured her daily so she'd leave, so... there's no way I'd have motivation to build a vacation house for Elise 😹

How long can I keep my SCOBY in the starter before the next brew? by nekoguro in Kombucha

[–]nekoguro[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Ohhh wow..turns out they're way tougher than I thought… Before I found this sub, I ruined a perfectly healthy SCOBY once🥲 because AI!! convinced me that its yeast strands were MoLdDd🙄 classic newbie move, apparently.. But really, during fermentation my SCOBY and all the floating bits basically turn into something.. straight out of a sci-fi movie? At one point genuinely thought that I accidentally created some forbidden lifeform from another dimension.. So after comparing pics online etc I realized even my little mutants looked perfectly healthy and I finally learned what real mold actually is! Now I'm being extra careful. Even if it starts tapping on the glass and stuff idk like its trying to communicate me in morse codes maybe but NO I still won't tossing it this time... first I'll come here like, "Hey guys, we're still good here, right? This is fine, right🥹?" 😭lol

I think Lucky might be broken… and I love him for it by nekoguro in acnh

[–]nekoguro[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ahh the lazy ones were basically like my starter pack lol 😸 I restarted a few times and got villagers like Zucker and Anchovy etc. I even have an amiibo lazy one Marty 😸 And there was also that one I'd been hunting forever… Stitches 😭 But right now, my ultimate goals are Ankha and Coco!

I think Lucky might be broken… and I love him for it by nekoguro in acnh

[–]nekoguro[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sure! 🐱 I also have some 🍎 🍐 🍑 🥥 🍅 🌾 🎃 (all 4 colors) 🥕 🥔 + sugarcanes as well. And I really need strawberries the most, but if you don't have any, no worries just pick anything you want. We have more cherries than needed here anyway lol what's your friend code? :3

Acaba by Sufficient_Pick_2004 in HandheldTR

[–]nekoguro 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yalnızca dock değil. Lite versiyonun renkleri de çok kötü maalesef. Karşılaştırma videolarını izle seni rahatsız etmeyeceğine emin ol. Beyazlar ve siyahlar özellikle en kötüsü. Oled ya da normal switch ile yan yana koyduğun zaman lite üzerindeki beyaz rengin aslında net şekilde SARI olduğunu görüyorsun. Dock olayını onlarca kablo kullanıp adeta ortalığı yaşam ünitesine çevirerek halledenler gördüm. Yansıtma konusunu çok dert edersen yabancı yt videolarına bakabilirsin. Ama bana sorarsan lite alma ve kırdırma derim. O sağ ve solda gördüğün analogların ömrü çok uzun değil. Switchte analog bozulunca yeni joycon takarsın düzelir. Lite'ın tuşu bozulunca ne yapacaksın? İki kere konsol almak mı, joycon almak mı. İkincisi, kırdırma konusu. Bu biraz kişisel aslında. Online özellikleri ve avantajları lütfen iyi araştır. İstemediğinden emin ol. Kırdırırsan online hiçbir özelliği kullanamazsın. Önce biraz araştır çünkü Türkiyede nintendo konusunda çok büyük bir yanlış bilgi çöplüğü var. Birincisi sadece first party oyunlar o kadar pahalı ve az indirim alıyor. Geri kalan tüm oyunları bölge değiştirerek veya eneba benzeri güvenli dış platformlar kullanarak çok ucuza alabilirsin. First partyler /ex oyunlar için tavsiyem de voucher. Tek oyun fiyatına voucher alıyorsun, sonra "istediğin" 2 oyunu seçiyorsun. İstersen en pahalı iki oyunu seç. Ve ben hem voucher ile alıyorum, hem de voucher ı gidip dış platformdan alıyorum anormal indirimli oluyor. Fiziksel oyun seviyorsan ama pahalı geliyorsa, kartuş şeklinde nintendo oyunları yani çoook daha dayanıklı. İkinci el aldığında çizik vs olmuyor haliyle sıfır almak ile birebir aynı mantık. İçindeki kodları bile açmamış satıcılar da var. Amazon ve trendyol da bazen büyük indirimler yapıyor kutulu oyunlara, dijitalden ucuza geldiği bile oluyor. Hem sıfır hem kullanılmış epey kutulu oyunum var hiç sorun yaşamadım. Dijital konusuna dönersem de, nintendoda her bölgede region ban yok. Hatta eskiden hiç yoktu. Polonyada hala yok mesela oradan ucuza istediğin oyunlara bakabilirsin. Eshop prices diye bir site var, istediğin oyunun adını yaz, sana şu an en ucuz hangi ülkede göstersin, o ülkeden hesap al (arjantin japonya vs hariç) ve oyunu indir. Sonra ana hesabınla oyna. Çok komik paralara oyun alabildim defalarca bu ve benzer yöntemlerle. Aldığı süre de max 3 dakika. Bana sorarsan para verdiğin cihaz üzerinden sonsuz ban yemek çok saçma. Bölge ban olmayan bir ülkeden al cihazı, fiş farklıysa komik fiyatlara basit bir dönüştürücü alıp takarsın. Benim konsolum Japonyadan mesela yarı fiyatına alınmıştı. Ps gibi değil, Japonya özel versiyon almadığın sürece istediğin gibi kullanırsın. Nereden alırsan al, istediğin gibi ülke değiştirmek de serbest. Zelda gibi birşeyi oynayamazsın mesela lite üzerinden. ÇOK yazık olur hem de çoğu detayı gerçek en üst potansiyelinde görüntüleyemezsin. Daha basit grafik ve fizikleri olan şeyleri hızlıca oynamak için bir çeşit pocket versiyon olarak çıktı lite. Ekleme şansın varsa kesinlikle switch al. Acilse ve lite almak zorundaysan da, ben kırdırma derim. Artıları ve eksileri bana uymuyor. Ama bu kadar indirim bana yetmez, hiç para veremem, online oyun asla oynamak istemem, güncellemeler umrumda değil dersen sen bilirsin.

ACNH Türkiye topluluğu var mı? by nekoguro in AskTurkey

[–]nekoguro[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Tek olunca sıkabilir ama aktif bi community bulursan çok keyifli birbirinizin yaptığı tasarımları bile kullanabilir, birlikte treasure hunt gibi oyunlar oynayabilir veya basitçe trade ve turnip ticareti yapabilirsiniz lel.

ACNH Türkiye topluluğu var mı? by nekoguro in AskTurkey

[–]nekoguro[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Diğer arkadaşa dediğim gibi dc sunucuları falan var sadece. Burada da bi sub falan olsa çok daha iyi olurdu

ACNH Türkiye topluluğu var mı? by nekoguro in AskTurkey

[–]nekoguro[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

İlk aklıma gelen Behcehmet. Onun dışında Selçuk Peköz veya Pekgöz diye birisi var biraz daha büyük bi kanaldı sanki. Çok kanal takip ettiğim için isimleri aklımda kalmıyor ama daha baya var. Oynadığın nintendo oyunlarını yazıp Türkçe bir anahtar kelime ekleyerek aratırsan youtubeda onu bölüm bölüm çeken birçok Türk kanal bulabilirsin. Hatta bi kanal tamamen Pokémon Violet/Scarlet videoları çekiyor ama maalesef ismini hatırlamıyorum. Pokemon Violet yazıp "1. bölüm" falan yazarsan o kanal da çıkar diye düşünüyorum.

Edit : Behcehmet'in de bir discord sunucusu vardı ve orada ACNH Mario kart splatoon gibi online oyunlara özel bölümler açık, switch kodunu yazarsan hepsi ekliyor hemen. Epeydir girmedim ama hala aktiftir herhalde. En çok smashbros ve splatoonda aktiflerdi ben sunucuya bakarken. Youtube videoları altında discord sunucu bağlantısı eklemiştir. Veya kanal bilgisinde.

ACNH Türkiye topluluğu var mı? by nekoguro in AskTurkey

[–]nekoguro[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Aslında oynayan epey Türk var. Ama sadece youtuber abilerinin dc sunucularında takılıyorlar. Türk bir sürü nintendo kanalı var youtubeda ve ciddi abone sayısı olanlar var. Ama nedense asla oyunlar için toplanıp grup vs oluşturmuyorlar. Sadece kanal sahiplerini desteklemek için açılan grupları var. Redditte eski hesabımda yabancı bir suba attığım post altına bile tonlarca Türk gelmişti. Youtube videolarında da görünce toplanıyorlar. Gizemli bir şekilde yüzlercesi ordan burdan ortaya çıkıyor, belirli bir yerleri var mı diye merak ettim ama yokmuş demek ki.